Good morning from my indoor nursery.
The thing I’d love to share today is this… so many of us experience anxiety and upset as the holidays approach. They have stories of events past where hard things happened or horrible feelings occurred… people were rude to one another–family, friends, spouses–and somehow it was never addressed never healed and we’re still carrying it.
So here we come into another season with all the discomfort and all the feelings. The scared. The worry. The concern. And then all the self-judgment because, wtf why can’t I just be normal and have a normal family?!
So my idea, and this has been hugely helpful to me, is to have a place just for yourself where you can tend to your feelings. You can’t escape this, boo. You need to spend time with yourself addressing what’s so heavy inside. Remember what you need to remember, and acknowledge where it has been so hard. Don’t run away.
I love coming in here and tending to my little plants. Seeing what’s new, seeing what needs to be trimmed away… it gives me something to do and a place to go.
To heal, you simply start by getting real. Name the things that are hard. Stay present without getting lost in stories. Breathe. Hug yourself. Don’t worry about everyone else and the way you feel responsible to make it right. Have your own back.
It’s not a sacred religious altar or a big heavy meditation practice or some other monastic thing you need. It’s showing up for yourself in a way that you love doing things you love and letting what needs to be aired out air itself out. No two paths will look alike.
I hope this is helpful for the friends it’s helpful for. There are so many people who talk to me in sessions about family drama and trauma and friendships and spouses and the biggest takeaway I have is don’t just suck it up. Things are hard! They’re challenging! Make sure you have your own back. That’s the most important thing. Have your own back.
Wishing you a sweet gentle day and please remember you are always awesome.