I am turning 44 this week (woo hoo!).
Here is a birthday pledge I’m making to myself.
My wish for this year is to honor my goods and love myself always in all ways.
It means I am practicing my no and my yes, and learning to go beyond my limits and reach for the stars.
Because I am doing these “homework assignments” with gusto, a good amount of fear is alive and kicking inside me most of the time.
I’m a caretaker at heart. I’m trained to put your needs above my own. I’m hard-wired to believe your happiness equals mine.
Sometimes it’s really hard for me to say no. I’d rather cut off my own arm than say it to you. And, even though I am working towards a fuller sense of self that’s healed and whole, I feel pulled and twisted by my fears and my wounding.
I recognize and fully admit it’s a struggle for me.
There is absolutely no shame in that.
It doesn’t make me less of a person, less of a helper, friend, wife, step parent.
No it does not.
It makes me extraordinary.
Sure, there are some who will read this and completely misunderstand…
But I’m writing this for me and for you (who get it) because we know that waking up to our big, beautiful lives is where it’s at.
And, we understand it’s time to fully embrace and love ourselves AS IS, while at the same time going beyond our limits and reaching for those stars.
Life is a practice, not a perfect.
Whatever level you’re at, however many people you are able to help, however much money is in your bank account, and no matter how deeply you believe you’ve arrived–you are still going to be practicing at something. You’ll still be a newbie, a beginner somewhere in your life.
And rather than pretending to be perfect, let’s celebrate being in a practice.
As a kid I loved to practice the Pledge of Allegiance.
Every morning at school we’d say it.
I’d put my hand on my heart. It was so serious and beautiful. I’d feel giggly and moved at once.
In those moments, time and the world stopped and I was deeply connected to myself.
I believed in those times that I was making a sacred vow to myself.
Today, whenever the “Homework” feels hard, or scary, or completely impossible, I place a hand over my heart and I remember myself.
It’s something I do in earnest. A promise and a solemn vow.
When I have something hard to say to you, I place my hand on my heart before I do it. Most of the time, I continue talking to you with my hand in place.
Do you think I’m a little kooky? Or, does it all leave you wanting to make that pledge to yourself too?
Sometimes I share this with another person, and it’s like they light up from the inside. They get it.
In that moment, they become their own super hero. The one they’ve been waiting for.
So, without further ado, I hereby invite you to take this pledge too.
I know you are worthy of having a life you love and you are deserving of every good.
You are the one you’ve been waiting for!
Put your hand on your own heart, feel it beating. Make your own promise to yourself.
I pledge allegiance to myself, I promise to be true and loyal and to love myself. To have my own back–even when it’s scary or feels tricky, even if I’m afraid people will stop loving me.
If you’re feeling brave or a little bold, I welcome you to make your own declaration right here in the comments (woot!) or at the very least, wish me well on my own birthday journey 🙂
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