Without a doubt I’d say my best super powers have to do with speaking my truth and keeping it real.
My friends call me a truth teller. When things are being swept under the rug, I don’t stay quiet.
True story: I once ripped the toupee from my stepdad’s boss’s head. Ok, I was 5 at the time. But, boy do I remember THAT…
(my poor parents!) I just HAD to know what was happening underneath that rug 🙂
Curiosity and clumsiness are understandable in children, but as adults that kind of thing isn’t okay.
The naked truth can feel horribly exposing to the other person.
Timing is important.
In terms of my truth speaking and peeking under carpets, it’s my intention to tread gently and keep an open heart. I come from a place of loving kindness. When I speak to you, I am speaking to me too.
I’m not afraid to go into the dark spaces with you. But, I will not drag you there if you’re screaming and kicking. No way, I will not.
It’s important to not clobber people with truths they’re unready to hear. It’s not okay to go around unmasking people when they aren’t equipped to handle it. Leaving someone in a puddle on the floor is just not helpful or kind.
My own worst experiences have made the best teachers.
I know what it’s like to be the client seeking healing only to meet with a lack of compassion and kindness in the healer. Being blasted by harsh honesty left me feeling shocked, scared and vulnerable… please tell me, how is that about healing?
I’ve had some interactions with “other healing professionals” who behaved quite otherwise. Verbal clobberings and unwelcoming hearts, oh my!
But I’ve handled things awkwardly with people too.
There are times when I haven’t addressed an issue soon enough and it festered. When you don’t address something while it’s a little thing, it becomes a big thing and we end up blurting stuff out in a messy way.
I’ve sometimes pushed when patience was needed. A painful learning experience for us both…
(By the way, I am a fan of checking things out with people when I’m concerned I’ve said or done something yukky. Rather than needlessly worry, check it out and don’t be afraid to apologize–you might become closer in the process!)
But then there were times when I spoke from my heart and, well…
There are times when I’ve made a gentle observation or asked a question that was not received well. Other times I’ve had to set a personal boundary because being kind does not mean being run over. Hurt feelings happen.
The truth is, no matter what you do, people will still misunderstand. They’ll get defensive. They’ll assume. They hear it how they hear it. And we do this too. We assume and misunderstand. We think we know what’s going on and we don’t.
You’re gonna ruffle some feathers and you will rock that boat.
I often say to people, Write to me if you need a little light shined, a gentle reminder of who you truly are.
I will encourage you when it feels there is no hope. I will challenge you to take responsibility for your beautiful life. I will ponder with you what your part might be in it all. What is the common denominator here, I’ll ask. How might you be contributing to your own suffering?
And it ruffles feathers and rocks boats from time to time.
But it’s the real deal kind of love that heals.
Yet, this is who I am and that is what I can offer you.
I’ve had quite a few ‘unsubscribes’ from my list, and there have been some yukky reviews written about me online. I’ve gotten some yuk-mail too. One lady even told me that her guides and angels told her to tell me I’ve got a lot to learn about kindness (I probably do!).
But it’s not the end of the world. This isn’t a popularity contest. I’m talking about giving the love that heals (with kindness).
Think about it. Sometimes people who name the truth or define the boundary can seem like a-holes. We get mad at them for telling us the truth. Especially when they don’t sugarcoat the message to make the truth more palatable.
Now try it on the flip side: What do WE fear when WE go to speak our truth? What if they think I’m a bad person? What if they get mad and scream at me?
The bottom line:
It’s very true that speaking your truth will rock the boat. People will judge you, they’ll get mad at you, they’ll seem puffy and scary to you. Because all of us are unconsciously screaming don’t-rock-the-boat, somebody somewhere WILL get pissed if you rock that boat.
Now, I do hope I’ve made my point that it’s never okay to blast people out of the water. Truth-telling like this is so not okay.
A good rule of thumb is to consider WHY you are wanting to tell someone something, and consider how you yourself would like to be told the very same thing.
Every once in a while, a turkey will come out of the woods and call you a name.
You can’t please everyone all the time.
Don’t let it get you down, keep sharing the love your very own way. You’re doing fine.
So, sweet friend, if this was helpful to you, I also offer an awesome self-guided Healing Practitioner course you might want to check out 🙂
Sending the biggest hug.
You got this!