On honoring the expansion and contracting of your own transformation – and the willingness and determination to honor our joy over coddling our fears.
You are walking this journey, always going bigger and higher, always advancing and learning. And there are times when we need to understand that what comes after our big moments of learning (traumatic or joyful learning) is a period of contraction — one where we take all the nutrients in and allow things to digest. Many of us mistake this period as a bad thing happening… we may feel sad or a little bit lost, but nope, we are just contracting. There is still movement happening even now, and this is a necessary process for your growth. <3
Listen to this episode here or read the post below.
🎧 Listen to Episode 72: Expansion and Contraction
Abridged session notes, including timestamps, plus all links, quotes, books, and movies mentioned below
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My notes from this show:
This week, on Tea with Robin, I’m talking about the journey of experiencing something bigger in your life — whether it’s living for a month in Italy, or launching your new big thing, or the experience of trauma or the death of a loved one — and how we pivot back into the new normal of our lives afterward. This is the process of expansion and contraction. Come grab a cuppa yum yum and meet me here.
Here’s one thing I learned about myself being away on a nearly five-week adventure in Assisi Italy, home is in my heart. Several times, friends asked, are you homesick do you miss it. Or people said do you want to move to Italy now, you know, I just realized like, nowhere is more special than anywhere else in my heart, and I actually had some weird guilt about that, like, I guess I should be upset I guess I should be homesick because so many people are asking. But no, I love it, I think maybe for me I’m just sort of a space traveler into intergalactic space traveler, And my home is in my heart.
I want to talk a little today about the process of what I call expansion and contraction, and especially the contraction part the gentle re-entry after anything you’ve been doing big-ticket item family trips, the big vacation we’ve been gone almost by four weeks. Death of a loved one there’s so many things I’m thinking about where this is going to matter a lot holidays. You know, you’ve been going for doing the next thing big for you.
6:30 I’m still acclimating back after our amazing time, I feel it so much, and there’s a part of me that feels somewhat like I do after I finish a session. Still a little bit out of body still in transit in my intergalactic travels. I’ve talked a ton in the last several episodes, probably the last 10 to 15 about daring to take risks, and do the things you’re always saying you want to be doing to find a way to find the willingness and the determination to stop the BS excuses and the stories, and the, the way we coddle, our fears, you know, I say we because I’m right in there with you. We coddle our fear to the point that we stop living the life we feel proud to claim. So #1 and I, we just did this thing that was huge, huge huge huge for us. And here we are on the other side. Permanently changed for the good. Transformed.
I want to talk about a process I call expanding and contracting expansion and contraction, and How to allow a gentle re-entry from a big experience you had. This is for anything like a big trip or big family gathering that was wonderful or extremely stressful, or when somebody passes away you’ve been taking care of, or you’ve been recovering from an illness or have been job changing…
there’s something you’ve been going for, and now it’s happened, and we need to acclimate to the new normal.
This is going to be a process you can apply throughout your life. And it will help.
So, what is really expansion and contraction? Well, in my way of saying it you go into this experience whatever it is that you’re doing as a sacred being on the journey. No you’re not just this human self. You’re also a spirit in the body, living the experience of the divine individualized. As you this little south, you know, so you’re having this experience, and as you’re going into it, whatever the experiences, you’re receiving information. It’s like data is downloading into your energy field your auric field into your mind you’re observing new things, new smells new sounds new sights, new feelings, new experience. So you’re going through this period, I guess we could call you like the cosmic Hoover. You’re, you’re sucking in a hole in receiving it all, you know wanted unwanted intended and unintended just like you’re there in the environment like a vacuum cleaner something at all. There’s a way that that information is beginning to come in and inform lots of new ways of being for you, the neural pathways are shifting, you’re getting new information, and it changes you.
Think of a time where you’ve been somewhere or done something maybe you went to a play a musical, I can remember taking the kids when they were little to Mamma Mia, the musical and watching this happening for them. Never having been to anything like that before and seeing their face. I can remember me going to the opera as a small child for the first time and be permanently altered by that the music, the, the energy of that. So that’s what I’m talking about. You suck this thing in you receive it in. And then it gives you that experience of goosebumps tingles, and then there’s this expansion that begins, where literally your auric field, your aura your energy field expands. And I invite you to consider how this is for you.
So you’re expanding expanding expanding, and I think there’s a way that when you’re intentional with this and you know that this is happening, you’re able to allow yourself to move with this movement. You sort of have this knowing that this is what’s happening. This is the way you stay grounded acclimated kind of reminded of just the turbulence on an airplane or the way a ship can be so Rocky. It’s how we reach our hands out and stabilize ourselves we know instinctively to do that. So, this is that process of energetically stabilizing ourselves through your amazing experience or your traumatic experience when my mom had her stroke and going through that whole thing for me this is the same process or times I’ve taught in a weekend seminar for me and for the participants, you know, we were all going bigger and higher in our energy and then there’s a huge letdown afterward.
This is that way of stabilizing ourselves, and because we know we matter, and we’re yes we’re special we’re sacred we matter. It’s important to move through this time. And I know for me. In Italy, the first five or six days while I was there, I knew that there was a lot I was taking and I could feel it. And I had this automatic begin to slow down and do a little less slow down and do a little less rest. Be quiet. Sometimes I will just say the number one let’s just be quiet for the next 20 minutes. I’d like to quiet down. Let’s just be quiet for a while, just allowing ourselves to acclimate to this thing we’ve entered into and allowing. Maybe its equilibrium, I don’t know, no you’ll find your right words but allowing that process to happen for you so that you’re acclimated, and your own. When you’re living like this, I feel like we’re living in this state of grace and miracles, we’re honoring ourselves as sacred beings we get it, we know we matter even if we struggle with that from time I do Do you know, feeling like I matter enough to take time and honor what I want to speak up for myself, but still. Overall, I know, and the sacred being, and this is important to take myself seriously to slow down, we need time to allow these processes to happen. That’s the process I call expansion. Whatever the experience was, it was profound, it changed us it altered our energy field, which means it affected our energy centers like that sharpers if you like that, the neural pathways, and it affected our body, mind and spirit is experience in this expansion process the system and the knowledge that is happening in, yes, we do matter. It is okay to stabilize ourselves throughout the process of that, in whatever form it takes. I don’t know if you heard my check-in, from Assisi last week, but I mentioned that there were times where I just removed myself from the hub of visitors and connection. I ran a few personal retreats. In several towns where I just felt the need to move and get some more quiet. That’s such an important thing to learn how to do that to notice the body is the mind or whatever is needing something and I think too often is spiritual. With the practice, we somehow think we need to tough things out, or we’re not doing the journey right. It’s like his need you might have is a sign of weakness. No, I’m just gonna say no, I don’t even want to cuddle that story either because no. The greatest thing would be to honor what you need to honor that you’re feeling irritable, or you’ve absorbed, more than you can do, or you need to go and make something to eat, or take a nap or whatever it is, to honor that because you’re taking so much in, and you’re saying hey this is this vehicle, I’m in this body. Houses my spirit,
and a sign of elevated beings, if you ask me. I don’t think we always realize how profound and experience, it can be to enter into a sort of collective energy field of whatever it is, we’ve been doing. And like I say, this could be stuff we call good or bad, romantic or joyful. And, it activates things in us, it liberating. It begins to release old stuff. It changes, and you’re in this amazing field of expansion you’re going bigger, you’ve expanded your energy. And the next phase is at some point, this comes to an end. Now comes the contraction phase you’re taking back in the nutrients like your, your field gets really really really really big but that’s temporary, maybe like a time where all the experiences, awareness, and the next steps we want. It’s sort of this, it’s this integration. It’s so important this contract thing is that you got it. That’s your slowly making your way back to everyday life. This is true whether you’ve been in hospital. You’ve been sick. It has been said, this is the practice to come back. You’ll be feeling sensitive, and that’s normal you’ll be feeling irritable, sometimes and that’s awake aware heightened, and I hope this is making sense today. I really do, because I think it’s so important and I think it’s something that we really don’t understand. for example, I’m thinking of a few friends, they’ll have their first wave of whatever it is they’ve been going for. Done the thing, taught the class. Had your big trunk show, completed your certification gotten the big client.
Afterward, there’s this huge like the post-experience and feel really, like all the air came out of your balloon. I think you expect to feel elated and really great, but there’s something else that’s happening. Maybe it’s a sadness, maybe it’s a start. Critically over analyzing what went wrong, because you’re feeling this way. This is the time to stay super awake and continue to remind yourself: Hey, we had an experience. It’s huge. It expanded out with fun and joy and jubilance. (Or in the opposite direction – a big trauma, a death, a break-up… same thing) And yes, now it’s over. You know, sometimes that’s just hard, isn’t it? So we got to take some time, just to acknowledge what is. And remember what is so we don’t do the process of over-analyzing the process of contracts and in this coming up with the false conclusion that we did something wrong or something went wrong and making sense. And the next several days, maybe the next several weeks, going to be intentionally gentle, kind, quiet, slow. Listen to my body.
So I’m going to, I’m not going to book myself solid I’m going to pick my own is down the hallway into action in the gear. I’m going to be gentle change plans as needed. Because this is honoring my experience. And maybe, maybe grace to take time and space to absorb the nutrients and allow myself to come back. Because I’m not going to come down to the same time. This experience has changed me. This experience has changed. So this is their plan to stay open to allow ourselves to integrate reorient.
And it’s just a very special time. It’s a small window. The veil is very thin, if you’ve had a big experience, no matter if you’d call it a good or a bad one… It’s a big experience. Either way, it is an opening, it is an opportunity, it is a gift. It’s a time. We can ride this energy, and have some magical things happen for us. So it’s really good to plan for no plan. To stay open and remember, I’m going to live in the state of grace for a few days and let it all soften and assimilate, and I’m going to listen for the next steps.
Sometimes friends in session will tell me that their own anxiety or nervousness at the spaciousness of not doing is tough for them and so they find themselves being overly busy, but you know it’s only tough for the ego. Be aware and it’s hard on your ego. The ego can’t stand it wants to be in charge.
Think about experiences, after the birth of your child or after number one and I finally got married after the wedding was over, I had this huge wave of sadness. And I totally misunderstood it at that time. And I really had a hard time and I thought about so much and what it meant. And I remember talking to my healer at the time who had married us and I said the same thing like did I make a mistake, and he also missed that opportunity to say you’re going through the contraction phase and this is a time where you really want to focus on gratitude and remembering what you loved revisiting what was so beautiful.
This is change.
Instead of feeling sad that it’s over, or picking at it looking for meaning where there isn’t any… think about what you’ll love going forward, what’s next. So, really, we want to do this journey gently and lovingly and kindly sweetly.
I’ll leave it there for today. We’d love you to share with some friends who will like this inspiration and guidance. Always, I appreciate a review on iTunes
I appreciate you so much and I will see you here next week, or in a few minutes.
If I can read your letter and shine a little light for you, or you have a follow-up topic for a future episode write to me here.
Related links for this episode:
Episodes I’ve spoken about living life on your own terms and daring to risk doing the things your heart most wants here
Books mentioned in this episode:
You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.
Thank you for listening, may it serve you!
Hugs and love,
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