This is a drawing of Ganesha I am working on. Although he is often considered the remover of obstacles, he also places obstacles in the path of those who need them 😉 Published on: Nov 10, 2015
I am in a position of loving people through difficult things
Sometimes people witnessing those going through the difficult time will say to me: But what can I do?! I am so far away, I don’t really know what I can offer. These sweet friends will be sitting with guilt and worry and not really know what to do.
As we hear about friends going through difficult times, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by a variety of emotions.
In our efforts to do something, we may say little things like, I feel so bad for you! I wish there was something I could do! My heart is breaking for you! Which as you may guess isn’t really helping either of you (as nice as it may seem).
But there is something SO POWERFUL we can all do in times like these: We can send our love not our worries.
We can send our love. I will often text or email or call and say, I’m holding you in the strongest of light and I’m seeing you getting through this. You are strong and powerful, you are doing this.
Never with my worry and sadness, but with my love and strength.
This is what I can do.
I once had the chance to hear Imaculee Illibigiza speak about surviving the Rwandan genocide
She hid in her pastor’s bathroom with 7 other women.
They hid together for 91 days.
Her entire family was murdered, along with most of everyone in her village.
These women were huddled together for more than 3 months–often while terrible things were going on right outside the house, often while Hutus were searching her Pastor’s house for hideaways.
If you have a chance to meet her in person – you will see a woman who radiates a kind of palpable light that’s just so striking for anyone let alone someone experiencing all she has.
What blew me away was when some of the people at that talk with me in the audience began crying out loud, Imaculee oh my God, I feel so bad for you! I cannot imagine what that must have been like for you! Horrible! Poor thing! She responded with such love and kindness. First, she asked that someone nearby console the persons crying out. Next, she said, The way we are most helpful is when we are living our own lives to the fullest.
She was saying, yes, console people who need it but do it from a place of strength.
And she was saying, we can help by living our own lives from a space of happiness and peace.
Let’s shine a light, not dull things down with more sadness and despair.
Doing this IS how we can help, period.
This is what I can do today. This is what you can do today. We can choose the heart. And when we think of our friends and family suffering horrible awful things, we can see this situation going in a way that is easeful and peaceful, we can pray that the highest and best outcome possible happen instead of visualizing something stressful and horrible.
If we send our love and not our worry, we ARE being helpful.
If we send peace instead of anxiety, we ARE doing something.
When we light a candle and speak your name, this is POWERFUL.
We are sending light. We are giving the love that heals.
We are practicing healthy compassion.
As we think of our friend we can breathe in peace and exhale stress. We can inhale love and release sadness. We can see our friend’s strength and resilience, we can trust in their journey. In this way are contributing something powerful. In this way we are extending peace from our minds to theirs instead of adding an energy of increased worry, fear, anxiety, and sadness.
This is us doing something positive for them. This is our way of easing the suffering.
And we can practice compassion for ourselves too.
We might not be quite aware that this situation our friend is going through is plucking the strings of our own stories; as we consider our friend’s experience, we are reminded of our own.
Can we hold compassion for our own stories along with our friend’s?
Can we be compassionately present for the grief and sorrow still remaining in our own hearts?
Can we breathe this in and out too?
And can we still send love?
I vote yes. I can do this and so can you. We are doing this.
May this go to just the right hearts today.