Stop Being so Hard on Yourself // Tea with Robin Podcast Episode 47

Stop Being so Hard on Yourself

My dear, please tell me why do you still throw sticks at your heart? — Rumi

Don’t waste time being hard on yourself. It has zero benefits for your journey.

What would it be like to be kind and loving to yourself instead. To be your own ally and love yourself exactly as you are.

In this episode, I’m talking about how to stop holding our own hearts hostage and be kinder and gentler towards ourselves. Plus, a little wisdom from Ram Dass and we’ll have a letter from #candygram – the Universe is sending candy! All this and more. Grab a cuppa yum yum and meet me here.

🎧 Listen to episode 47 Kinder, Ram Dass, #candygram

This episode is also available wherever you enjoy podcasts 🙂

Send a letter to Robin for the show here.

My session notes are below 😍😘

My notes from this show:

I think we are way too hard on ourselves. And frankly, we have a way of taking things way too seriously as well.

We get upset.
We worry about stuff.
Feelings start to pop up and we latch onto them.
And then we’re not doing so great and at some point, we start beating up on ourselves… as if the upset isn’t enough, now we are being mean to ourselves.

What I’d love is for us to take a moment and tune in in our hearts on the things we are so hard on ourselves for. Just give yourself a moment. No need to pause, you probably already know that you’re way too hard on yourself.

And also a lot of us are in transition — things are changing, things are falling away, and it can feel harder to know what we’re doing… and that too is something we can be very hard on ourselves about.

It’s those times when you’re in the unknown and things are feeling not so easy, we don’t know, we’re in a place of unknowing… and that too is a time when we can be so hard on ourselves.

Why we tend to point the finger back at us, to blame ourselves, pick at us and pick on ourselves, I don’t know, but I do know we need to stop doing it!

We are amazing and beautiful and we need to love ourselves! We are the only ones who can do this, you really cannot go to someone else and say am I a good person… but if you’re not willing to say it to yourself, hey stop being so hard on yourself, please, let’s take it easy… that’s the point.

And I think about patterns of things we do and get up in arms about it, eating, drinking, tv habits… it seems like we have a way that we have something we do and that thing we do serves to keep us on the outs… this is why my badness is so bad!

Sometimes we have an illness and we blame ourselves for that as well.

So this is my love bomb to you – to help us all wake up and say, what are we choosing to do about this cycle?

Stop Being so Hard on Yourself

Consider what I am saying and your “habits” or “guilty pleasures” what do you do that keeps you beating yourself up? Is it possible you are only keeping it around, this habit, to beat yourself up with?

If we head to the familiar yucky poo place where we always head, we’re just gonna keep doing the self-flagellation again. And what does that serve, really?

Don’t you wanna break out of that pattern? Don’t you want to love yourself and live your life how you wanna live it?

If there are things you do or enjoy where you regularly beat yourself up for later, wouldn’t you just like to enjoy it?

I wanna be easy and enjoy my life because I tell you what! We came here to have joy.

We came here to have freedom and joy, ease and delight. I get that not everybody feels this way, but I thought I’d share a story about where I learned this philosophy that suffering isn’t a prerequisite for joy. We don’t have to scrub toilets for a hundred hours before we can have a good time, we don’t have to starve ourselves getting to a certain weight before we can be happy, we don’t have to correct ourselves for wanting to tell someone off.

I’ve had some powerful experiences where I’ve been visited. I tell this story over here.

So many experiences of beating myself up for not doing life perfectly, I could be so hard on myself! And then you end up beating yourself up for not being happy! It’s such an odd dilemma.

The guide visiting me said, we love to do things like PLAY and HAVING FUN. Her energy said, be easy and have fun, as a Spirit, you won’t have this specific experience anymore because you’re not an individual human being anymore. So let yourself have fun!

Don’t waste time being hard on yourself. It has zero benefits for your journey.

Whatever it is you’re so mean to yourself about, I wish I could say, stop it, because we make it so hard. We overthink it, we overdo it…

What would it be like to be kind and loving to yourself instead?

Instead of managing to make something out of nothing and then beat ourselves up for it again and again and again…

Why do we do this? I think the reasons why are much less important.

What matters more is to be easy with yourself and be kind. And if you find that there are big gobs of the day where you’re in a negative way, you’re being hard on yourself I would say what’s going on there is you’re not using your life force energy in a positive way.

Unused creativity turns into grief, anger, shame. — Brene’ Brown

Do the things you love and then it will be easier to be easier on you.

Back to the guide who visited me, she was saying how we restrict the joy in our lives and down to only a few channels of joy – like eating, or drinking… but really, it’s just that we need to have more fun and ease and joy and allow ourselves to play like we did when we were little.

Who cares what the point is, go out and find things. Find what makes you excited. Putter, let yourself putter. Get out there and play.

I mentioned my IG post over here. 

I share some of my story about getting more focused into healing work, and how that came about.

I learned to hand off my fear and upset – please take this from me.

Recognize that I am being guided by spirit… I know it. I do not make fun of woo. Be confident and know.

I will not impinge on my light. I will not make fun of it or disregard it or even play it down. I will honor it and allow it to guide me.

And that’s the commitment I suppose I am asking you to make today, friend. It’s time we stop being so hard on ourselves. It’s time we stop being against us. It’s not right, it’s not okay. And even if you’re not realizing it, you’re making a lot of busy work about nothing — that you’re a stinky poo-poo head is an illusion, that you could’ve ever done anything bad or wrong? Or that you’re a bad person is an illusion.

How would it be to practice knowing that — that the stories you tell about yourself are not true. And being so hard on yourself serves no purpose. It serves nothing. NOTHING. It is nothing.

Or even to say, I love Robin and she helps me so much and I am gonna trust what she says… I don’t quite believe it but I am gonna trust that knowing.

Wouldn’t it be amazing? We could bypass so much there!

When I learned to turn things over when I was upset, the miracles started happening for me. And finding that little mouse house was so beautiful as a reminder. Just on the day for being hard on myself for caring about things that don’t really matter and then I can get mad at myself… you know how it is. So it was a welcome delight to see.

We just need to trust in the next step and the next one.

You’re doing amazing things, and there’s no need to be so hard on yourself.

Stop Being so Hard on Yourself

Show references below

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Show references below

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⭐A Course in Miracles Quotes:

“Questioning illusions is the first step in undoing them.” — ACIM Text CH 16

You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.

⭐Related links for this episode:

Resistance is futile. We’re here for tangible joy.

On Loving Yourself Enough to Leave the Surface of Things

Read This When You’re Beating Yourself Up Again

Let Yourself off the Hook. Do Whatever You Want. Let Go.

Episode 41 of TWR  How to Manifest the Life We Want

⭐Books mentioned in this episode:

Ram Dass book, Be Here Now

A course in Miracles: Combined Volume

You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.

Thank you for listening, may it serve you!

Hugs and love,

Stop Being so Hard on Yourself

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🎧 Episode 47: Why are we so hard on ourselves? On letting ourselves off the hook and being kinder. We deserve that and so much more! Plus my own stories of getting started making art and being so hard on myself too. Yikes, I even got pretty teary at one point…I shouldn’t say yikes, but it’s hard to hear it back sometimes ❤️ I share a powerful encounter I had before a reading once and talk about tangible joy. I share a little inspiration from my all time favorite book, Be Here Now by @babaramdass and this week’s letter offers a fun story about manifesting from a listener. Swipe to hear a tiny bit. ❤️ Listen to episode 47: Kinder, Ram Dass, #candygram Link in bio for full episode on iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or wherever you enjoy listening Always, thank you so much for supporting the podcast! I appreciate your awesome reviews, and you sharing these episodes with friends who can benefit. Want me to read your letter on the show? DM me here or email hello @ and make sure you mention the podcast 🙂 #teawithrobin @robinhallett

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