This is a love letter to my friends who struggle with repeating patterns of behavior and have a hard time breaking free. And sometimes beat themselves up about it. I put myself in that camp too. Ahhh what great company we keep!
I am writing to you now because I can see you are going there again.
That thing you do has happened again and now you’re heading for that yukky-poo place you go to when you do the kinds of things you just can’t face.
It’s okay if we don’t rehash what happened. I won’t make you tell me. It’s not the point really. It’s just that I feel so sad to see that you’re wandering in the desert again. You’ve kicked yourself out there with all those scary bugs and prickly cactus things, hating on yourself.
I won’t bother slapping any spiritual slogans on this one because what you need right now is love.
You are loved. No matter what.
No matter what you did or what you said, you are still loved. You are worthy. You are a good person. You matter.
For reals now, how did this happen again? How did you arrive here again? I’m not asking that to shame you, I’m asking because I care and we both know this behavior is out of alignment with your essence. That’s why you’re sad about it. That’s why it hurts.
As long as you’re out there in the desert, you might as well look for clues to return with so it won’t be so rough the next time. Were there any signs ahead of time? What was going on before the downturn?
Do not be afraid to look. What I know about you is that you are courageous and brave and you can do this. Take a look with kind and loving eyes.
Remember: You are loved. You are worthy. You belong. Could this be an issue where it’s simply a challenge for you to receive the truth?
Take a deep breath. Are you willing to receive the love? Are you willing?
On days like this, it is important to ask often: What would love do? Try it now, What would love do? It’s so good to practice asking because if you don’t, you’ll be living from shame and fear… and none of that stuff is real.
Please dust yourself off and come home. We miss you! It’s not the same here without you!
You are someone who is steadily making progress, you are working very hard and are doing such courageous stuff. It’s totally natural that it’s going to bring up situations where you’d rather check out than be here with it. It’s totally normal that there are times where you get a little koo-koo.
Kindness is necessary now. You are not here to be perfect, you are here to practice. Please don’t beat yourself up. These are things that are hard to look at and hard to sit with and most of the people you know don’t know how to be with this stuff either.
One last thing before I go. In case you’re feeling a little disappointed in yourself, please don’t slip into shame. There is good information and guidance in this feeling and if you can gently welcome this with a loving heart, you will learn some good things for the next time this happens.
Because there will be a next time. And when it comes, read this letter again.
I love you.
I still wanna be your friend.
You still rock my world.
No matter what.
Always in all ways.
P.S. Want a little more? Check out my Guided Meditation for Upsetting Thoughts.