Tea with Robin

Beyond the Usual // Tea with Robin Episode 109

There are enough people affirming the badness, the worries, the political troubles now.  Enough focus on what’s wrong and will continue to be.

If we could see this time as a healer, everything changes. How can we let it be just so? If you want to be awake, then stay awake. If you want to be alive then stay in a state of aliveness.

Let us celebrate the reminders of light. The joy. The positive and hope and good things happening. We’re not done yet, and we are always creatively loving our way forward.

The small self might be saying its scary things but the God-self in you knows what’s what. We need to practice remembering the fullness of who we truly are.  Let the one in you who needs your compassion and love receive, instead of the repetition of what’s bad and wrong.

Our inspiration is a beautiful poem by David Wagoner called Lost

And we’ll have a letter from #showupforyourself who asks about how to handle the pain from not being seen, witnessed, validated, affirmed by others.

Listen to this episode here or read the transcript (with timestamps) below.

🎧 Listen to Episode 109: Beyond the Usual, Not Lost, #showupforyourself

Complete transcript with timestamps here

Click here to jump to the links mentioned in this episode.

This episode is also available wherever you enjoy podcasts or downloadable here:

https://robinhallett.libsyn.com/109-beyond-the-usual-not-lost-showupforyourself


If this episode has been helpful, I’d appreciate you sharing this with anyone it may help. Click the share buttons above or below, or always I appreciate a review on iTunes

If I can read your letter and shine a little light for you, or you have a follow-up topic for a future episode write to me here.

To support the podcast, consider making a donation here.


Tea with Robin Podcast Show References

 

⭐ Morning Magic with Robin: Come share some feel-good time with me and our Love Posse every morning at 10:00 AM EDT, Instagram live. @robinhallett

 

⭐A Course in Miracles Quotes:

“Certain pupils have been assigned to each of God’s teachers.” — Manual for Teachers, 2. Who Are Their Pupils?

You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.

 

⭐Related links for this episode:

Cheryl Richardson

Zach Bush MD

Lost by David Wagoner

 

⭐Books mentioned in this episode:

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume

Every Book I have recommended on the podcast here

You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.

 

⭐Movies mentioned in this episode:

Kiss the Ground

My Octopus Teacher

How Much is Enough?

All is Lost

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

 

Thank you for listening, may it serve you!

Hugs and love,

To support the podcast, consider making a donation here.

Subscribe to Tea with Robin on iTunesGoogle PlayStitcher, or Spotify.
Click here to get email notifications as soon as a new episode goes live.

Help out the show: Leave a review on iTunes

Send a letter to Robin for the show


Tea with Robin Episode Unedited Transcript

0:02
Hello Beloved. It’s me Robin, Robin Hallett intuitive healer and Light Sparkler. Air Robin Hallett. And this is Tea with Robin. On today’s episode. How do we help ourselves? Go beyond the usual places, going beyond self care, going beyond fear and worry, going beyond the usual things we do when the stuff hits the fan. Plus, I’ve got a beautiful poem to share with you. And we’ll have a letter from hashtag show up for yourself. You have people in your life who create a little pain and tension for you. The conflicts are there. Yeah. How do you deal with that pain? We’ll talk about that too. All this Anwar, come grab a cup of yum yum. And meet me. Here. Well, hello there gorgeous friend. It is me Robin. Welcome back to the podcast Tea with Robin. This is Episode 109 109. Wherever you are, whenever you are listening, receiving, and sending love and hugs, from my heart to yours. If you’re a hugger, if you’re not a hugger, it’s totally fine. Please pass them along to somebody who is. If you’re new here, if this is your first time listening, thank you. First of all, thank you for giving this a world a four. Thank you for giving this a listen. And thank you for being here. Thanks for being somebody who’s given the surprise going to receive. And you friends returning. Hello, howdy. How do you do? Have you nudie it’s good to be back with you again. Before I begin, I wanted to say that I am recording in a new room. But with the same microphone. So I wonder if I sound any different. Took me a few tries to get this set up. But I am in a little space where I normally come to meditate and practice do my course a miracle studies etc. The noises next door, they’re building a house next door. I call it the mountain. We call it the mountain. The noises today are really loud. And so I’m hoping that you know being inside a small room at the back of the house in my little corner. It really is a corner not quite a hidey hole. I guess if I put a sheet over my head, then we would be complete. But I’m sort of behind the couch next to a desk on the floor. And I love it. So just wanted to say that if there’s any weirdo noises, you’ll know why. I’m under a dormered roof as well in this room, and I just heard a squirrel scampering across the roof. So friends, how’s the weather near today? How are you doing today as you are listening along. I hope that you’ve been practicing awakening, awareness. Staying present, staying loving, staying kind in your heart. It’s a tall order. And I know that and it can take years to master the ability to be in the moment with yourself and be awake and aware to what’s really happening. So if you if you just judge yourself for whatever reason, you know, not being good enough not doing it right. Listen, it’s a practice and it takes time and time is something we have. You know, it takes as long as it takes my own wizard reminds me of that, like coming into the practice. Learning how to show up for ourselves is everything. And maybe that needs to be our biggest life’s work. Maybe, you know, that needs to be our biggest and best work and maybe we need to keep reminding ourselves that care of the self

4:48
matters the most.

4:51
You know, care of the self matters the most Over here, the weather in my heart, quite frankly, frankly, rightly, it has been up and down. It’s been. It’s been more of an intense week. And I have been practicing turning in work, holding on to my heart, breathing, softening, taking walks, doing things that feel supportive, helpful, and kind. And that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ve been doing yoga, exercising and eating right. Those are good things of self-care. I’m talking about beyond that, because you need beyond care. beyond just the body care, emotional, spiritual care. And so I’ve been doing things that helped me stay awake and reminded that this life we’re in requires your participation, it requires my, my presence and my awakened heart. Because there are things I’m doing, I’m here to do things, you’re here to do. lessons, experiences, rides, you wanted to ride, as a spirit being before you even got here, there were things you want me to do. And not all of it is something I think the small self would choose. I wonder if that makes sense to you. Now, all of the experiences are things your small self, you’re the one you’re identified with, as yourself in this lifetime, I would choose. So, you know,

7:19
sometimes, it’s really a struggle for me to stay present versus checking out. I know I’m not the only one. That’s always a blessing of your healing practice. That’s always a blessing of talking to friends, or friends at morning magic. I’m there every day on Instagram Live 9am, Chicago time, I should say, you know, I hear how I’m not the only one telling you that. So you know, you’re not the only one. So I find there are ways that I have to keep help myself stay awake to God, in my life in the universe, the presence of the universe. It’s such a freaking mystery. You know, if I could be sued these days, just by Bible verses alone, boy, I would be a lucky person. But it’s about getting for me right now. It’s about getting out in nature, and exploring and finding those places where

8:29
I’m in awe.

8:30
I’m in my wonderment. I’m looking at spirals, I’m looking at patterns. I’m looking at the bottoms of pine cones and seeing the perfection. I’m looking at my flowers that in the backyard, and I’m seeing the perfection. And somehow I’m staying reminded of the flow, and the connection and the grace and the beauty. And even if it doesn’t make sense, and some small minded logical, we need a plan to heal the world level. It helps me It helps me feel better. It helps me with that part of myself. That is kind of sometimes feeling like everything that one sweet sense no longer make sense. Yeah. So let’s have some yum yum. Did you bring a copy of yum yum today. I have this morning’s coffee and some oat milk in it. And here’s to us. Here’s the US hanging in. Here’s the US staying present. Here’s to us in our awakening journey. Here’s our freedom. Here’s to our Recognition of choice. Cheers.

10:10
So, yeah, I’ve been out major. And, you know, I kind of dream. I can retrieve for a little bit I hung out with number one husband, I took pine cones on. I went out in the yard and looked for evidence of nature. I watched the skunk and an opossum meet in the in the yard this week, and enjoy what’s left of the bird seed on the ground. Now the birds and the squirrels, they kick things to the ground, and then the other guys come and eat. I watched them, figuring out how to do dance together and share. I watched my octopus teacher again. I marveled at the perfection of this bizarre little creature. And I thought about myself as a bizarre little creature. I thought about you as a bizarre little creature. Did you know you’re a bizarre little creature? Can you say that about yourself with so much love and fascination? Because I’m not saying it with judgment.

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I’m saying it’s a whole

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bizarre

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journey.

11:42
And I loved watching that movie, I really recommend it, it’s on Netflix, if you haven’t seen it.

11:53
You need to be in the mood for it.

11:57
I think for sure. When it’s a want to not have to know, but I love that. This is a guy who’s talking about how a certain passion and the career served him for so long. And then through a series of events, which he never really gets into. It just changed for him. And he says he was a cinematographer, he says I couldn’t pick up my camera again. I just couldn’t do it. And I felt like the purpose I had been striving for everything I thought I was or would be or could be, it shattered. And I didn’t know what to do. And he says one day

12:57
I decided

13:00
do the thing I used to do as a kid.

13:08
I get in the ocean. Oh, explore the kelp forest. And Swim, swim and explore. And so that’s how the movie begins. I’m guessing you guessed there’s an octopus involved? Because Hi, my octopus teacher feels to me. Just wait a minute. Okay. It feels to me like this time in our lives, though. This time that began with COVID I mean,

13:57
all the way through everything now. I mean, in the states this week, so many things have happened now. Our president and his wife have COVID I mean, it’s just like, I’m not laughing like it’s funny. It’s just like one What do you even say, you know if you saw the debate…for me, it would be nice. If something someone reassuring in be here and be looking through the lens at me every day saying all as well. And I love you and we’re going to be all right. I know you’re scared. I know there’s pressure. I know you’re holding yourself up. No, you’re doing your best. Hang in there.

15:06
Because we’re getting to the good part. It’s coming. As much as I would love somebody to say that to me, I realized we are the ones we’ve been waiting for you and you and me. We’re the ones who need to be assuring ourselves. We’re the ones who need to be honoring the practice,

15:44
who are recognizing our own freakouts and not continuing to harm ourselves. I realized that like the reason watching the debate felt painful for me. And in all honesty, I made it like 20 minutes or less. I did at 20 minutes or less. I just couldn’t have it.

16:20
I listened to fighting and bickering like that, with nobody stepping in all my life, through air vents in my house, being trapped in the backseat of the car on 10-hour road trips. Enough, I’ve heard enough about. So we’re the ones you and me were the ones we’ve been waiting for.

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And

16:54
this practice is about being showing up with yourself. And letting your feelings be here. Realizing you can’t control everything I can’t control. I mean, there’s so much I cannot control. I mean, starting with all the noises I’m listening to right now, there’s nothing I can do. And if I keep waiting, I’m never going to get anything recorded. You know. But I wonder what kinds of things you wish you could control or you keep finding that you are trying to control. I talked to people in the week who are having all kinds of experiences. But I would say a lot of us are trying as hard as we can to push forward with the new normal. At this point, now, we’ve come to this place where it’s like COVID is going to be here. And we’re going to figure out how we thrive anyway, how we get out and live in our lives anyway. And it’s a big, big it’s a big, big thing. How are we going to do it? I was saying this last week, we have to have access to a higher

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perspective,

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a practice a connection, a way that we see the bigger picture where we remember, we came from somewhere else. There’s a part of us here that is something else.

19:06
I’m not just an energy healer and intuitive hoo hoo happens to be married and kids and you know, I’m sitting upstairs in my home. If that was my only identity, I would be screwed right now. You know if that’s what I what am I trying to say? Like, you know, I know since COVID began my my healing practice has really changed. I’m still working. But I it’s not just that I’ve woken up to the ways that it’s I’m not just talking about the financial stuff. I’m talking about the ways we have taken our identity from the things we do Yeah. And when the things we do change because of global events like COVID, maybe you’re not working like you once were, I certainly am not. I mean, I’m still working, but not as often, or as much. And I’m also not as motivated to be offering things, you know, programs and classes. If I’m motivated, to do anything, it’s to come together and do things. And I’m not getting paid for that, you know, morning magic, for example,

20:42
in this experience, too, and I’m having my own experience with it, if that makes sense.

20:53
So if your mind is just there, saying, you gotta hurry up, come on, you got to get your stuff together, you got to figure this out, you got to whatever is going on for you, you know, you have kids at home, you’re trying to decide whether or not to send them back to school, whether or not you’re going to send them to university, a lot of you are waking up to the possibility that trade school might be a better jam for your kid. There’s a lot we’re adjusting to. Exactly not bad,

21:32
by the way.

21:37
But the mind can have its freak outs. And there are many more people around us who want to stay asleep, I’m not being judgey. I’m just preparing. Here reminding myself that there can be a huge gap between where you are, and somebody else’s. And I read an article yours, Oh, my gosh, this is going way back. Remember, you while she’s still around, I’m not trying to say she’s gone. But Cheryl Richardson she would talk about this that people want you to stay asleep with them. Because you waking up. Scary for everybody else who doesn’t want to shut you down, shut the conversation down.

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So you might not have noticed this gap where you don’t want to what’s there to talk about, because you don’t want to talk about these other things.

22:59
I definitely don’t want to spend my day complaining about politics, and the pandemic, and the worry and the fear. I want to spend time affirming. And there’s enough people doing that. That’s what I’m saying. So we’ve drawn connection with nature or connection with your creative side. And your creative side can be anything from the way you like to arrange your eggs in the refrigerator to the way you decorate your little nooks. This one I’m sitting in right now is so cute. Wherever you can find your comfort, you’re soulless. And your reminders of why you know what I mean by might remember that there are things happening, that there is happening and not done yet. And I think we’ve been here long enough to see that there have been some amazing things coming out of this time. Maybe we can trust maybe we can trust that we’re going to be okay. Maybe we can soften and relax in our body. Easy, be gentle. Enjoy some day to day things. You know. Here it’s becoming fall here in Chicago. where I live, this guy is more gray. And the greens are very chartreuse. And I can look out the window and see part of my sweet gum tree is starting to turn. And there’s beauty there. No, and it’s amazing because the part of you who gets what I’m saying, the eternal part, the deeper part understands the beauty of that, the connectedness of that, that you and that color are one in the moment of receiving it, you know, noticing it, and it changes you, it lifts you the smile self, you know, the one that’s concerned with racking up recognition, acknowledgement, health, status, beauty, use, fame, wealth, you know, everybody loving you. Popular, whatever you want to compute for that part of yourself, it will not compute the ego in us, the small self. It’s very concerned with its little things, isn’t it? Sometimes, I hear myself like I, I need to get back to where I was before. COVID get back to that place in my business in my what I was doing, and honestly, though, it’s not just situational. I don’t want to, you know what I mean?

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I don’t want to

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I was listening to Dr. Zack Bush, MD. know who that is. I want to give him a Google. Give him a Google. He was saying, you know, I mean, he, he shares a lot of awareness about climate change,

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food,

27:18
body, healing, health and gut health microbiome. He really puts a beautiful perspective to things for me, that is like, we were sick before. We were struggling and suffering before. Now, it feels like, you know, the awareness is on illness now by this time is the healer. We’re not done yet. Of course. But this time now is our healer. So that part of us freaking out wanting things to go back to how they were

28:09
those of us who can’t handle being home with our kids, those of us who can’t handle you know, whatever it is for you. I could give examples out there weighing forever. And I may not say the one that works for you, you know, we have to remind ourselves, this time is the healer. And so, connecting these threads of like, if there’s any part of you that is furiously creating things, trying to stay afloat, stay alive. Stay alive, stay. Okay, stave off your anxiety. If you’re constantly hatching boobie plans, let yourself rest. Let yourself soften. Think of the small self as a child, a little child who needs help. means love. Who needs hugs? Who needs holding? There’s one in you who need your compassion. And when you have anxiety and all you’re doing is saying I’m anxious, I’m anxious. Oh my god, I’m so anxious. I’m so anxious. I’m so anxious. I’m so anxious. I’m so anxious. What are you really doing to help yourself? So, you know, sit, come here, sit down. Breathe with me. You say this to yourself. You talk to yourself. You go look in the mirror and look into your own eyes. Stop the narrative.

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Stop the

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resistance in your mind for just a few moments. And you do this throughout the day when you can you do this throughout the day when you can. Sometimes I walk by the mirror and I say still here, I’m still with you. You’re you’re talking to the one in you needs that reassurance. We are going to make it, of course, we’re going to be okay. And I try and remind myself of things like politics wise.

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You get one vote, one vote. You can register to vote online. Now that makes it a lot easier. You get one vote. So take that vote, but also no. Worrying about the state of politics. How many hours do you need to spend in your day worrying? I know this is gonna probably sound radical. But take your hope then make sure you vote and help yourself. do other things, creative things. This time in winter, winter. Hi. It’s exactly October 3 today, Robin. Oh my Lordy. I wonder if any of you garden lovers in the Midwest know what I’m getting at though. This time in winter, we’re heading into the cooler time where it’s not easy to grow things outside. This is that time where I want to start creating my kitchen garden, my window sill garden, creating ways to do that staying in a place of delight and enjoy when I can. Now but that’s the requirement. I would much rather be in a still way in a peaceful way and an easy way than always needing to be joyful and happy, to be honest. So anyway, that was my big essay today. May we remember who we truly are? and make the choice to continue to weave in that remembrance with the day to day. May we continue to show up and hug our hearts. Hug the little kid inside who is anxious? Maybe at times. I mean that it would be weird if you weren’t. It would be weird if you didn’t get worked up about things. It would be odd, honestly. So the fact that you are means you’re awake, you’re alive. You’re alive, you’re alive. Spend some time allowing yourself to receive perfection and nature.

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Do you keep a bird feeder anywhere at your house? Are you fresh in the water outside somewhere for the animals you know, stay in touch with nature, a life path for yourself. And consider what you love to do as a child.

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There is something to this time where you could let yourself play. You could let yourself explore. You could let yourself make things just for the sake of just for the heck of it. Learn origami, learn watercolor. Not everything has to become something like your next big online venture. Not everything has to be made for someone else to see and say it’s good enough. bake some cookies. Rearrange the furniture help yourself stay in a place of a lifeless and that’s how we continue to move through this time. So I hope that helped you today, my friend.

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And I should say, if you have been hearing the jingle jangles those are my grandma’s bracelets. I always wear them, they never remember her to me, you know, stuff like that to keep your sacred things near. So inspiration Today, I wanted to read a poem today. We went out to the Morton Arboretum this week and we walked all around and I kept thinking of this poem. It’s a modern poem written by a man named David Wagoner it’s called last

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here we go

35:56
standstill the trees ahead and bushes beside you are not lost wherever you are is called here and you must treat it as a powerful stranger must ask permission to know it and be known the forest breeds Listen, it answers I have made this place around you. If you leave it, you may come back again saying here no two trees are the same to Raven. No two branches are the same to run. If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you, you are surely lost. standstill the forest knows where you are. You must let it find you. You know,

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Friends

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you are not like anybody else said no to trees are the same to Raven. No two branches are the same. To run.

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Often out there right now. You are not like anybody else. In this time. Now you must write your own manuscript, your own manual for how you operate. You know what I’m saying? You must you must you are the only you there is? No. He says if what a tree or a bush does this last time you are surely lost meaning to me. If you don’t get who you are, what you are really? Then we’re all screwed. You know we need to get it. I’m more than this one here. With my credit card information. My census survey answers. I’m more than that. And the last point I’ll mention is wherever you are is called here and you must treat it as a powerful stranger. Don’t think you know I am really working on that now. I recognize other people who think they know and they’re furiously continuing with the plan and I mean furious like fast and not really pausing and one thing after the next you can’t do that and expect to be awake.

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That kind of

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resistance requires your disconnection. Does that make sense? So it becomes very simple. If you want to be awake, stay awake. tend to these things and remember, you’re not lost. All is not lost.

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always makes me think of that sailing film with Robert Redford. What’s it called? All is lost, or all this not lost? I love that movie. So good. Yeah. So let’s have a sip.

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You know,

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I’ve always been somebody who has trusted in the flow, even when I was really, really little. So, I usually ask you to share the podcast or support the podcast or help spread the word. And I am asking you that, I am asking you to do that, to leave a review if that feels right, or shared on where you can. But also, I was reminding friends this week that how it says in the teacher’s manual, the people that are meant to find you, they do, they’re already looking for you, you don’t need to be afraid. You’re doing the good work, you’re sharing the good love, you know,

41:34
don’t forget to see that people are showing up to receive, you know, whoever needed to hear that today. Because I know a lot of us are self-employed, or scared, where, you know, still trying to make something of ourselves, whatever the story is, and at the same time, you’re waking up realizing what I need to do is stop struggling, Stop panicking, stop freaking out. You know, that’s how we get out. Who was that in Harry Potter, that in the trials, that the second movie or the third, fourth movie, they finally have to stop struggling against the vines of the tree, and then they could get out again. And that’s it. We have to stop struggling with our fear, wrestling with it. And trust. What you’re here doing what I’m here doing is meaningful, and powerful. And that has its own flow, that brings its own things brings its own people to trust in that people right now are looking for what we’re sharing what we have to offer. So yes, please share this on, please support this work. If you want to make a donation, I welcome that as well. There are links for all of them here in the show notes. And also, this is me saying Let’s trust together. Those of us here in this life together, let’s keep trusting that we’re doing all right. And that there are good works happening. So I have a little letter this week. And this goes out to you, Shelly. She writes, Hi, Robin. I felt very moved by the session today. I feel like you were talking right to me. She’s talking about morning magic. My question was, where to put the pain that arises from not being acknowledged, seen, loved, heard by others. Even when standing in the light of knowing that we are loving light, it can still be very painful. Thank you Have a lovely day. You know, and thank you to Shelley. Thanks for sending this in. And thanks for your honesty and thanks for your courage. People who feel this way Get it, we get it, I get it. I feel it. I get it and I there are many, many, many, many, many of us who get it as well. where to put the pain that arises. pain that arises from everywhere, anywhere, wherever it comes, needs to be witnessed. by you, by somebody, you are not afraid to look, not afraid to share space. Not afraid to have the pain overstay, its welcome. We’re afraid. If I acknowledge you, you will be here forever. If I acknowledge you, you will never leave if I acknowledge you the rest of my life or feel like this. And so, what happens is we stay in pain, we stay afraid. And, you know, the feeling of not being acknowledged and seen and loved or heard by others, perpetuates itself, because we’re in pain. And we’re focused on the pain we’re focused on making it go away, or somehow being good enough to make it go away to heal it, you know, to do the right thing, so it gets healed.

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We’re focused on trying to get some kind of a perfect track record. So we can finally be redeemed this now one of those difficult people who struggle with pain, anxiety, upset, sadness, you know. So our primary focus is were on the pain and our lens, if you think about your eyes, your literal eyes, but I mean more your emotional eyes, your, your imaginal eyes, the way we see the world, your eyes, they’re being trained to see situations that make us feel other than less them. Not enough. So not being acknowledged, becomes the focus, where am I not being acknowledged? And not being seen becomes the focus. So where, who is not seeing me? Again? Who is letting me down again? Who is betraying me again? Who’s ignoring me, again? Who is intentionally not acknowledging me again, right? If you can see any of this even a little bit, I mean, if it’s your thing, it’s not everybody’s thing, you know. But if you can see this even a little bit, it’s hugely beneficial to your release from this prison.

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So where to put the pain from that arises from not being loved. And we’re looking for places to identify where we’re not being loved. So

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same was being heard. No, we’re looking for places and people and situations that won’t hear us because I’ve never that is the hurt is the pain is the wound. It’s the expectation now. I expect this to continue. This is my identity. This is who I am. I am not acknowledged, seen loved, or heard by others. So where to put that pain you know, right into your beautiful hands. Open up your hands if you’re listening right now. Open up your hands. Right now. I’m looking down at my hands. Put your pain in your hands. And make a commitment to be here for you to acknowledge and see and love, and hear yourself

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going forward.

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And that doesn’t mean you know, just the positive strokes, just the comfort and kindness that that needs to be there. But there’s a way that I feel like this thing we do. Where we recognize that we’re not being acknowledged some way by other people, this thing we do to ourselves is so sneaky and deep. It’s tricky. It’s like an addiction that nobody is talking about. Where we constantly are looking for ways to be disappointed in our lack of attention and loved mess. So you have to put this pain in your hands, and you have to show up for yourself and say, really boldly, is this how I want to spend my time. This is how I want to affirm my existence, through the lack of love, through the lack of acknowledgment through the lack of being hurt. Is this really it?

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You have to become very honest with yourself if you’re going to ask that question. Because you have to be so honest, because

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in for some of us, our whole life has been built on this story. And it’s huge. And I’m not judging you, here, I’m standing with you. Because this is a story I know, as well, I know very well. No.

52:33
For me, the big thing is there is no outside, anything, there is no out there. There’s only in here, there’s only me. And you know, the world is a reflection, the people are a reflection of my thoughts, my knowing my belief. And as somebody who has gone around for a lot of my life saying nobody gets me, nobody loves me. You know, I, I created that for a long time. And I still slip into there. I mean this. In some ways, this does not have to be a big deal. You can understand this is like any other addiction, you know. It’s a pattern of survival. It’s a pattern of self soothing. It’s a strategy we’ve learned to cope with life with. You know, that’s all. How can you love yourself? How can you show up for yourself? And how can you take responsibility for calling this in? again, and again, I bet you anything, that every day you are offered love, appreciation, somebody is hearing you. Somebody is acknowledging you. I bet you every single day that is happening. And what gets noticed, are the ones who don’t, the ones who have been too busy are the ones who you know, we have conflict with. It’s part of a push pull relationship one way or another. So even to, you know, when we tell the story in our one sided way, it’s not really the whole picture. The person we want to acknowledge us hasn’t spoken to us in 20 years. Because there’s something you know, that’s happened between us, you know, that’s one example, I think of but start to look where you are being talked to where you are being affirmed. And, you know, when we’re hanging on the words of others when we’re hanging on the actions of others. It’s really pointing to how much we need to be doing it for ourselves. To come to the day where you say, I am so pleased with me, I am so pleased with my life. I’m so pleased with this day. I acknowledge this day I acknowledge myself in this day I acknowledge my work in this day. I see my good efforts, my intentions, I see my goodness, I see my beauty, I see my light.

55:40
I shared goodness today, I shared love today, I shared inspiration today. And, frankly, you know, not everybody can say that, because honestly, sometimes when we’re really focused on pain, when we’re really focused on how much the world is hurting us, we’re in a victim consciousness that permits us this is probably unconsciously, but I think sometimes consciously to be going around. Rude and shitty to people. You know, I just said that out loud, didn’t I? And that’s what what it really is. So, again, okay, now I’m being self conscious. But this is not just for the question there. You know that right? I’m just, I’m here talking to all of us. So, obviously, every aspect might not be true for you. But this is such an important conversation, isn’t it? You probably have thought about people, you know, who are like this, right? You know, these are things we learn as we grow in life, in your 30s in your 20s. This is not how you’re thinking usually. It’s certainly wasn’t how I was, but this is the way I behaved. And hopefully, we get better at it as we go. Hopefully, we continue to evolve. And if we need to make amends, We can and then we can work on being there for us, being there for us and lying us appreciating us. And sometimes I think of it like, you know, the carbon footprint in recycling, how we talk about Try not to be wasteful and contribute to a lot of negatives in the day in terms of how we impact the earth or whatever. But emotionally, it’s huge, you know? emotionally, it’s huge. What kind of impact Did we leave on this day? I’m learning so much about myself, through showing up. Showing up during this podcast doing morning magic, you know, there’s a lot of days where I don’t want to

58:25
do it, I want to quit.

58:28
And I’m learning that every day I can say I made an impact or left something good. That helped somebody else that focused on someone else’s struggle or their pain or their, you know, inspiration. Sometimes I do things people never know about they don’t acknowledge it, they didn’t see it. I did something for them. You know, these are also things I think, I feel it’s feel very deeply it’s important, as somebody who feels they were jilted in their affection, and love and appreciation. And you know, this is not just for Challis, this is for me and all of you listening who know what this place is like. You can, you can rise in your life and stay bitter. You can rise in your life, I mean, rise like you can go through wake up and go through your day you can grow up, being bitter, being resentful, being you know, kind of like a martyr. But you can be somebody who is healing those tendencies in yourself. And you will know that and you will be talking about that with your own heart, in private, a lot that you added like today that you help somebody else today that you caught it when you were focusing on the negatives again. And you talk took a moment and gave yourself some presencing around that. But then you kept going, you offered kindness today. Or they you left when you were feeling upset, and you knew something good wasn’t going to come out of your mouth. You don’t I mean, you were impeccable with your word from the Four Agreements. So these are things we can do. And not everybody gets that. I know, because not everybody lived that way. You know, not everybody grew up that way. Not everybody experienced that way. But for those of us walking this path of wanting to be seen, acknowledged, heard, and celebrated. And feeling like we’re not and feeling like we’re hurt, the pain is there. We have to acknowledge we play a part in that. And so I would say the tangible tips are start to look for where it is happening. And hold yourself accountable to why that isn’t enough. You know, look in the mirror to look in the mirror and really face your demons. Look into your own eyes, you know, everybody has a shadow self. We shouldn’t be afraid to luck. Everybody has a wounded side who’s asking to be healed and some of the things we’re working on from lifetime to lifetime asking to be healed. So in a way, you don’t even have to take it personally. You can say this is the my soul and I are doing this work. If that resonates for you,

1:02:38
three,

1:02:41
make sure you are offering kindness in the world in the way you’d like to be receiving it. Show up for people

1:02:54
have integrity. Serve, even if it’s small, do something kind.

1:03:16
And lastly, can be tricky, but don’t judge it. Be honest with yourself and try not to judge it. Take responsibility for it. But try not to beat up on yourself. You’re making your way. Would you like it to change? You know, that’s the big question.

1:03:51
The bonus thing for me is because I’ve had a real tendency to to attract people into my life who can’t show up for me. This is a variation on this, I think of what you’re asking about. And then I’m disappointed. I have been disappointed

1:04:13
in the past

1:04:16
that they’re not showing up. Or they don’t

1:04:23
seem to be interested in me. Well, on some level, I pick them for that purpose. You see, I expected that. I don’t think that we set out like we’re writing a resume like this, but I think it’s what ends up happening is we call people like this to us. So if the majority of the people around you have a similar vibe.

1:04:53
Then it’s time to change the contract. And it’s time to start to see them for who they are and that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. It means people who are not able to meet you where you’d like to be mapped. It’s a very different thing. You know? I’m saying, I keep going to this place and asking them to see me and they don’t. Because they’re not about that. Why would they see me? They’re not even interested in that. So spend some time when you find that place where you’re frustrated with someone who repeatedly doesn’t compliment or acknowledge or whatever it is. Your main upset is about that one person or about the group of people. This could be your own family, you know. Remind yourself that in that moment, you also are not thinking about them. You’re not you don’t care. You only care about what they’re not doing for you. This is big, big stuff here. This is big, big. Practice here. Are you up for big big? I am. I really am. I really want to help even the people I feel I’ve hurt me the most I want to help them meal. I do. And I don’t want to carry grudges in my heart.

1:06:27
I don’t.

1:06:30
I love people to work for that. I love us too much for that. I love this journey too much for them. So where are their tangles? I say we respectfully back up.

1:06:41
You know,

1:06:43
the other day there wasn’t a possum in a skunk in my yard. And I watched how they danced around each other, each of them snarling. And this gunk had that tail up in the air. And we were like whoa, there is going to be some spraying happening. But they finally backed up to a distance where they could both eat in the yard, they could both nibble on the sunflowers and the little sprouts and seeds that fall in the millet plants. They could coexist. But they weren’t all up in each other’s business. Sometimes I think with friends or family especially we have to figure out the healthy distance

1:07:31
we have to back up

1:07:36
what expectations do we have? What are we projecting out there? How can we address that? How can we work on this so I hope something in there was helpful for you Shelley and for other friends here listening and I thank you for your courage and your question and I do I super appreciate it and friends you know if I can answer something for you please message me on Instagram is best Robin Hallett or you can email me Hello at Robin Hallett calm, happy to help. And even if it’s a little bit provoking thought-provoking, we can do this work. We are made for this healing. We deserve the life where we are least impinged in our heads you know? Yes.

Well, beloved’s thank you so much for listening to another episode with me. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate your time and your presence. And it’s Saturday afternoon. It’s kind of a gray day here. So I think you know what sounds really good to me is to go for a gentle bundle up and go for a gentle walk

1:09:09
out in

1:09:10
nature, out in the fresh air. Maybe stop by and visit my flowers and see what else is going on in the garden. A good time to gather up seeds for next year and maybe plant some

1:09:29
fall.

1:09:31
Some perennials around I like to do it in the fall. We’ll see what I get to. I hope you have a beautiful day. Whenever you’re hearing this and hope you will practice with me. Some of the things I’ve shared today. This journey is a beautiful one and sometimes can be so challenging, and I hope that Well, you know, me being here, helps it be a little less self for you. This has been me Robin, your friend on the journey and I’m sending you a lot of love and I will be here again next week or in a few minutes. Same bat time, same bat channel. Bye-bye.

 
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