I once had a client who had the kind of energy reminiscent of a three-ring circus.
Forget the cotton candy and popcorn… this circus was about drama, stress, and chaos. And because of it, she frequently took her “audience” to crazy town.
Picture it: Three different events happening in the three rings, AND somebody let the tigers loose.
Her style was chaotic, to say the least.
A call to schedule a session might last 20 minutes because it was hard for her to finish a sentence, and the topics kept changing, and she’d often start talking to other people in the middle of our conversation.
If I ever missed her call and attempted to leave her a message in return, her voicemail was full.
Chaotic peeps will take you to Crazy Town but they’ll rarely see their part in things.
Often people living in a chaotic world have no idea they are chaotic. Seriously. They don’t.
She’d arrive late to her session-sometimes by 20 minutes, without calling. And when I’d still end the session on time, major drama ensued. Major. Like, somebody just got shot out of a cannon.
The day I went to Crazy Town
But what really cinched it up for me was the time when she arrived at the door, toting a gigantic shopping bag (I still have NO idea what was in it). She was toting that bag in one hand, on her cell phone with the other while somehow managing to open my door to let Winston the Wonder Dog outside.
But my dog doesn’t go out that door… that one leads to the street and lots of cars.
Now she was blocking the door and my dog was running away. I practically had to knock her down to get past her and out the door to chase the dog who OF COURSE, had taken the opportunity to run wild through the neighborhood.
I spent the next 30 minutes chasing down my dog. It was early Spring, I had no jacket on and was running in my socks because, when your dog gets out that’s what you gotta do. I don’t mind telling you I cried a little too. I was just so DONE with the whole thing.
Getting the lesson
When I finally caught up with my crazy dog (never mind he had rolled in something stinky, very pleased with himself I am sure) I had the epiphany… Chaotic, dramatic people who have a three-ring circus in their energy field are not good for me because they take me to Crazy Town.
I don’t mix well with that kind of energy. It’s too familiar to my history. Therefore, being around it is pretty toxic to me.
As I made my way back to the house, trying to slow my breathing (mini-marathon anyone?), feeling pretty ready to hit my client over the head with a small hammer, attempting to center myself again… I wondered how I could avoid acting the part of a person who had gone to Crazy Town. I hoped I wouldn’t say anything stupid because I felt ready to kill her.
I was SO mad at myself for putting up with this kind of situation that so obviously didn’t jibe with who I am and what I am about. SO mad at myself for continuing to allow this kind of thing in my life.
Clearing the chaos
Dog in my arms and on my way back to the house, I was feeling the kind of gratitude that can only come while the relief is rushing through that I just averted near disaster.
With my mini-meatloaf dog safely in my arms, I looked for my client–thinking for sure she’d be outside, helping with the search. I mean, that’s what I’d be doing in her shoes.
Nope. I found her sitting in my kitchen – still on the phone – and by now she had helped herself to a cup of tea. Sitting there, watching the action from the window, She said, “OH! You found your dog!” then went back to her conversation on the phone. Well, to her credit, she sure was being consistent!
Yes, it’s normal to want to kill people who bring the circus to town. But if you go to Crazy Town when you’re with them, it’s clear you’re playing a part in the situation. So take responsibility for your part in that chaos. It’s also pretty clear that you two are not making magic together so it’s probably time to say Auf Wiedersehen.
Every time I think of this person I am grateful (ok and a little relieved!). Grateful because she taught me about how far out of balance I get when I caretake the wrong kinds of people.
We all have stories like this one. How can you choose to shift the energy? Keep asking yourself that question, keep taking risks to make the shifts you know you want to make.
You matter 🙂