How to Handle Your Transformation and Not Fear the Fear

Not Another "Just Suck it Up and Keep Moving Forward" Post

On intentions, manifesting, and getting what you wanted, and the transformational gunk that accompanies the whole process.

So you set your intention and the Universe answered!

But holy yikes, here comes the major change and upheaval. And now this isn’t feeling so exciting and wonderful anymore. Instead of being delighted and grateful, you are feeling a bit scared and confused about what you were wanting in the first place.

Or maybe it’s more that you feel unworthy of this.

Or you don’t believe you have your sh*t together yet.

And you sometimes wonder if you made a mistake…this fear and the upheaval seems like a sign that you’ve made a wrong turn somewhere. At times you think maybe you should just forget all of this.

But no no my friend, this isn’t a bad thing happening.

Let’s sit down right here and take a breath together. Soften our shoulders and bellies and just breathe. Calm ourselves for a bit and let our eyes refocus.


I get why you’d be feeling this way…you’re used to bad feelings indicating bad things. For a whole lifetime, distress has been the signal of bad and wrong.

But this time is different. You are different. 

You’ve been working at this. You’ve been wanting this. You’ve been intentionally manifesting good things for yourself and your life.

And now something good is coming. And right along with that comes the old skin and guts of what got you here along with whatever is not in alignment with this new you.

You are in a process of transformation.

Right now, you are caterpillar and butterfly at once.

how to handle the fear of transformation

Eventually, you won’t have all of those feet.

Those squishy rolls? They’ll become wings.

A caterpillar is really a little squishy cute butterfly in the making.

Maybe it doesn’t know there’s a butterfly already inside but that caterpillar wants to fly. If you’ve seen how it crawls along in the craziest directions, you’d guess it must know something about flying already.

This caterpillar wants to travel! To visit Mexico! Hasta la vista, baby 🙂 Somewhere in its DNA there is a desire for change and transformation.

This caterpillar is being called to greatness.

But of course, the little squishy cute butterfly-in-the-making doesn’t KNOW this.

whan you're afraid of transformation

It just feels an urge to cocoon.

To find the perfect branch and wrap itself all up.

I imagine the urge to hang upside down from a branch and wrap myself in a cocoon would be pretty freaky. Something right out of John Carpenter’s movies. I’d feel panic and I’d cling to what was at any cost…and at some point I’m sure I’d wonder if I was dying.

The very last thing I’d be thinking is, Oh yippee, yes I think I’ll wrap myself up and do god-knows-what to myself inside…woohoo, this is the path of transformation!

It’s scary, this transformation business. I am practicing right alongside you.

Most of us know what happens on the other side of all the fearful, sweaty nights… but how do you deal with it at the moment as you wake up sweaty and scared, assuming the worst?

the fear of transformation

It’s easy to get confused by the fear and assume it’s a sign that you’re not supposed to move forward. I get a lot of emails that say the same thing: I thought I was on the right track but I feel so scared and anxious all the time…what am I doing wrong?

All we need do is wake up from the nightmare. With practice, this gets easier.

What if we learned to recognize our fear as a positive sign of the good things to come?

What if we could say hello to the gunk without getting lost in it?

Could we learn to recognize our very own signs of transformation, and then help ourselves remember that this is just part of the process on the way to where we want to be?

Something good is coming. Something we’ve been wanting is happening.

how to not fear your transformational process

You are both the caterpillar and butterfly 🙂

It’s absolutely possible that one day you will expect new wings sprouting the moment you catch yourself feeling afraid. And until then, we will keep practicing!

I’ll see you in Mexico, my friend.


Don't be afraid of your transformation

Read my recent interview in Mystic Magazine here: