The holidays are about love, not things.
And yet, this is the time of year when we can feel pressured to splurge in ways we normally wouldn’t.
We sometimes feel it’s easier to just spend the money than it is to face the temporary discomfort that the sense of guilt and obligation can bring. Our fear of letting other people down or upsetting them or looking like a cheapskate just seems harder to deal with.
Except it isn’t. We only think it is.
The holidays were never supposed to be about shame, guilt, or fear.
They were never supposed to be about spending money in the name of obligation, duty, measuring up, keeping up, or reciprocity.
Honoring where you are matters more than honoring tradition.
For those of us worrying about having enough and fretting about spending, I want you to know that it’s going to be okay — you can stop spending in ways that make you uncomfortable.
You can start honoring yourself and your situation.
Overspending is not a symbol of love and affection. It is a sign that you are not paying attention.
There is a difference between you continuing to ignore things and you dealing with them. A difference between pretending it’s not happening and you showing up and facing it. One way is powerless and the other is full of power.
Many parents tell me they feel scared to upset their kids by buying them fewer things.
I know what you mean, I’ve been there too…
Yes, it might upset your kids to receive fewer things, but it does not mean you must continue. If they’ve become accustomed to the precedence you have set in the past, then yes, they might feel disappointed. But honestly, what are you going for here, kids who can guilt-trip you successfully?
You can learn to bear the guilt you feel vs. overspend to avoid it. And, wow, just picture yourself setting into motion some real and lasting financial principles which would help your kids in the way of becoming responsible with their own money one day.
Do not confuse gifts with love.
Don’t mix up affection with spending. Quantity will never ever indicate the largeness of your love.
Please don’t go unconscious with a waive of your credit card and a ‘giddy up, oh well…’
How much longer will you allow yourself to do that? It’s not me here nagging, it’s your own inner knowing speaking. It does not feel good to continue living this way.
Your conscious awareness matters, especially now. The holidays are not an exempt time where you can blow it all to hell and plan to recover again in January.
You are a good steward of abundance (or you are on the road to becoming one!) don’t throw it away now.
Do not give in to the story that people will be mad at you. Tell me this, is that concern over people being mad at you something you honestly want to continue honoring?
Remember what matters to you and honor that, no matter what. Even if it feels scary. Don’t bow down to the discomfort and do the thing anyway. Don’t.
You get to set a new precedence this year: financial peace.
This all comes down to choosing where you allow your energy (and money) to flow. I’m inviting you to choose financial peace this year.
How can you give the people in your life more of what they probably need and want in terms of your time, presence, and affection? Isn’t that what this holiday is about?
What if you gave yourself full permission to spend and do as it felt naturally good to you to do? Yes, it’s radical. And maybe, you’ll be the only one who sees it this way in your family. It’s still OK. Sometimes, the one with the awareness must go first.
Choosing to spend less because you are honoring your nut (or budget) is admirable and honorable and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s not that you can’t buy anything, you can. This doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing holiday. You get to participate at a level that feels comfortable and good for you. But please do it awake. Make conscious decisions.
If it will help you to speak your truth to the people you normally exchange gifts with, do it. But don’t come from a place of scarcity, “oh I am too broke, I am a pauper, things are really tight, I am a walking financial mess!” Don’t affirm that story. Remember, like attracts like!
While it might be true to a certain degree that things are a bit tight right now, the deeper truth is that you’re learning to honor your abundance and take responsibility for your decisions. This is what matters. This is the energy to lead with.
You do NOT have to blindly obey custom. Reciprocity isn’t the law.
This season is about LOVE.
Love, not stuff. People, not things.
When we are backed by the intention to forgive our financial past and direct our future with love, we cannot lose.
Are you with me?
Hugs and love,