24 answers to the how, when, and why of things

24 answers to the how, when, and why of things

Here are 24 answers to the how, when and why of things, may they go to just the right hearts, with lots and lots of love.

1. You are not stuck (but keep saying you are and you’ll believe it).

Stop calling yourself stuck unless you really want to be. Don’t keep announcing it to yourself. And anyway, you aren’t stuck. Progress is happening. Acknowledge and appreciate this. Words have a lot of power. Thoughts strung together become beliefs.


2. Maybe you’re not asking the right questions. Try these:

How is this happening for me?

How is this familiar?

Why hasn’t this gotten better?

What am I missing?

What am I afraid to admit?

What am I contributing to this story?

What don’t I want to look at?


3. You know what I say about tiny altars, don’t you?

They’re made to worship really tiny things.

We make small upsets into tiny gods and worship faithfully. What if we recognized this and stopped. One way to do this is to get clear on what does matter to you.


4. You probably need to go bigger.

It sounds like you’re under-wowed and there’s probably more that needs to happen.

Maybe you aren’t being fed? Perhaps there’s not enough of a challenge in this for you (and the danger here is that you might try and take your satisfaction from these not-challenging-enough things).

I’ve seen people remain slightly wistful and hopeful while never really going anywhere for years. Where does the power to make your dream happen live? Inside you.

You are here to shine brightly and you definitely deserve to go for your life with both hands, head and heart. Make a going bigger plan for yourself, beautiful.


24 answers to the how, when, and why of things

5. Maybe you’re just scared because this is everything you’ve been trying to call in.

Although we set intentions and work towards stuff, it doesn’t guarantee we won’t freak out when the opportunities manifest. It’s okay, don’t panic. You won’t scare away the good juju but you don’t want to trample on the gift either. Give yourself some time and some space. It’s totally okay to rest. Lay down, breathe, and do your best to help yourself while you’re freaking out. Say thank you and help me and smile, and watch your whackadoodly tendencies to create chaos right now. Practice the good self care routines you know which help you stay grounded and connected to center.


6. Receive, dammit!

It’d be awesome if you could learn how to say thank you without deflecting, apologizing, justifying, frittering. Stop and receive! Take it in. Don’t diminish it. Don’t blow it off.

If you get nervous, close your mouth and take a breath. Please do this before you say something goofy again.

Sometimes we think we’re being humble by deflecting a compliment but playing humble is actually a form of arrogance. True humility is receiving ourselves as the spark of the Divine.

You DO need to take credit for your beautiful creations. Please stop saying, “Oh, it’s not me, I am just a channel!” Words and images do not come through you. Energy does. You are the one who interprets and expresses. Own it, appreciate it, say thank you.

remember to receive

7. Do not argue for your upset.

I notice that there are certain upsets we fight for when we really need to drop them. Set them down. Walk away. Unhook. It’s not good for you. Don’t continue to argue for it.

Sometimes it’s hard to let go because we can’t see that what we’re clinging to something we believe defines us. It defines our struggles or our life or our personality. Like a familiar old story but it’s not serving you.


8. But what if you’re really not a sloppy, lazy, no good procrastinator?

What if you’re someone who likes to do things RIGHT before they’re due?

And what if this gives you a feeling of excitement and joy?

What if it’s just your way?

What if you are like a little rocket who needs the fuel and excitement of the last minutes?

Would it really be so bad?

And wouldn’t it be amazing to finally understand this for yourself and make space?

Ok good. And now that that’s settled, how can you begin to structure your week so this is how you work it? Instead of spending 5 days panicking about the the things you said you’d do next week, you can spend your time being productive in other ways.

your mistakes and general weirdness, look how teeny tiny it is in comparison to the fullness of who you are

9. You are a good person and there’s nothing you need to do in order to retain your status.

You were born good, no matter what anyone else has told you. There is no redemption that has to happen, just let yourself shine. You are a spark of the divine, you are alright right now. You are loved and wanted and welcome here. Trust in your goodness.


10. You are not going to get stuck here if you feel it.

You keep saying you don’t want to talk about it because you ‘just want to move forward!’ when really, the reason you can’t move forward is because you refuse to feel it. Let it out, let it go. Feel it so you can eventually release it. Think of this as spiritual farting. No, you won’t get stuck here. You won’t go backwards. You won’t be jinxed. Promise.


11. Speak up, create space, or cut them loose.

Oh my gosh, if I could only begin to tell you how much time I have personally wasted ruminating about things people said or did. At the time, it just seemed easier to not take action. But this was because I was scared. I know better now, but for a while it was a really really painful learning experience.

Things only got harder for me and all I really did was prolong my own suffering and the lessons kept coming.

Life is precious and short. Your happiness isn’t optional. You get to decide who is on your inner circle. You absolutely get to know what this all looks like, without apology. Your right people are out there, but you need to clean house before they can come.

Be grateful for whatever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond


12. We teach people how to treat us.

You play a part in how this is going. You not speaking up helps others assume you’re fine with it. Clomping around by yourself all pissed off serves no one. Next time you’re upset about what happened, sit with it and decide upon a policy for the next time. I’d rather see you face a temporary discomfort than continue this pattern.


13. You could continue demonizing this person or we could get to work on what they’re showing you about yourself.

Sometimes people trigger us because they are mirroring powerful things to us and we are not seeing it. Decide you will begin inquiring why you’re so triggered instead of you railing on and on about who this person is and what they have done to you.

Ask harder questions like, what am I supposed to learn from this? What are they showing me about myself? What am I not seeing? What is my part? Why am I really so upset? What is underneath this story?


14. Don’t let the words of other people hold you back

You are here to be yourself and I am here to be myself.

You are not here to be me. I am not here to be you.

Still, there are dingalings out there who preach the One Right Way. It seems they’re going for a world where everyone is the same, wanting and getting the same. I don’t know what else to tell you other than to say, you must become free of needing their good opinions of you. You have to find your own way to care more about what you think than what they do.

The opinion of other people should not matter in the way that it does (but I get that it does!). We just need to practice letting go more. This might seem harsh, but it’s my practice to say: what they think of me is none of my business.


15. Observe your envy and wish others well

When you feel envy, treat it as valuable information.

There is room for all here. What is meant for you is always meant for you. No two journeys are alike.

There is room.

What you perceive in others you strengthen in yourself. – A Course in Miracles


awake my soul by robin hallett


16. This cannot be cured by Botox.

There is a deeper issue here which deserves your time and attention. Are there things you know you need to be doing which are not happening? Why is that? I am all for feeling beautiful. But beauty comes from the inside. And the cure for your upset cannot be found in a tube. Please don’t get stuck on the surface of things.


17. There are no Brownie Points for this.

Part of the reason we are HERE (as in on the planet) is to experience joy. I call it Tangible Joy. Resisting what would light you up will not earn you Brownie Points in heaven, quite the opposite. You have a spirit inside you which wants to experience delight. Let yourself have it. Play, dance, eat, drink… be merry. Have at it.

Having fun is the quickest way to heal, expand, and receive greater abundance. Besides, you’re gonna be so pissed once you croak if you don’t. Trade in your worry for joy. Exchange fear for delight.


24 answers to the how, when, and why of things

18. What if this didn’t bother you?

Sometimes you just need to ask: What if it didn’t bother me? There are certain things we go on and on about which just do not matter in the bigger scheme of things. It’s usually stuff which is a waste of time energy suck keeping you from getting to the real stuff. This sounds like one of those things.


19. Who gives you the permission, baby?

That’s right, You.

You are the only one who needs to give yourself permission. There is no one else.

Anytime you find yourself wanting it from someone else, (and it’s okay we ALL do this!) gently inquire what you are needing right now. What are you hoping that other person can give you? What are you really seeking?

24 answers to the how when and why of things

20. You are not being punished.

There are certain toxic situations, patterns in our lives which continue to happen because we are not getting the freaking message already. It is very difficult in those moments to wake up and realize that we play a huge part in why it keeps happening.

You cannot continue to cover your head with your hands and hope for the best. Maybe you need to find your backbone, maybe you need to take a look at what you keep bringing to the party. If you ask yourself honestly, you will get an answer.

Certain situations keep happening because you are not getting the message but no, you are not being punished.


21. What will you have when you get there?

Take this longing you have and ask that question often.

Sometimes people have dreams which feel really unrehearsed to me. Meaning, they’re not well thought out, or they’re some kind of redemption story the ego has trumped up because who you are isn’t good enough already. Or your life isn’t good enough. Or your parents don’t think you’re good enough…

So ask yourself what you think you’ll have when you get there. And then practice being that vibration now. Being a match to the vibration you say you want to call in even more fully is the fastest way I know to manifest.

This thing you say you want, what does it look like?

How will you feel once it happens?

And, what will happen in your life as a result of you reaching it?


Last but not least:

22. Nothing good ever came from clenching your butt cheeks tighter.

23. While a juicer might make you feel better, it cannot save you.

24. You were never ever the black sheep, but you’ve always been a rainbow colored unicorn.

24 answers to the how, when, and why of things


Sending you big hugs and lots of love! You got this! Rock it this week,



setting boundaries