How to Not Get Drained by Other People and Stay Your Sparkling, Shiny Self // Tea with Robin Podcast Episode 38


How do you not get drained by other people?

How do you not get “infected” by other people’s upset?

What about the people in your life who are heavy and sad on a regular basis?

And with all of that happening around you, how do you stay as your true sparkling self?

Let’s dive in!

Listen here or wherever you enjoy podcasts 🙂

My session notes are below 😍😘💖

Episode 38: Drainers, Dark Disco, #raisethevibe

In this episode, I am sharing about how we deal with people who are draining, complaining, needy, grumpy, and how to not get sucked in by their energy.

Is there such a thing as energy vampires and is it possible to be “infected” by the energy of others?
What do you do about the people in our lives who are heavy and sad on a regular basis, who try and drag us to the dark disco?
We’ll talk about you staying in the lane of love and being your true self, no matter how anybody else is.
Plus. I share some inspiration from Dr. Mario Martinez on how our mindset can impact our immune system and this week’s letter comes from a friend who wants to make some serious shifts…  it’s all in the vibes.

My session notes:

I love to sit with friends in Healing Sessions. I love listening to the deep dark stuff, the dark and scary edges, the insurmountable cliffs, the things that just feel really hard to get over.

I love being the person people trust with their secrets, their long-held beliefs. I love listening and looking for that heart opening for that miracle where we have a bridge between the two of us.

I get a lot of questions about this because lots of people have draining relationships with others and they cannot imagine doing this day in and day out!

How do you not get infected?
How do you not get drained by other people?
Doesn’t it get to you?
Isn’t it so hard?
I don’t know if I could ever do what you do!

Well, I’m not in agreement with that theory that people can drag you down. You have to join them there, you have to go with them to get taken anywhere, right? We have to make a decision.

We do this by getting irritated or annoyed or we want them to be different…we are trying to change them. And that’s how we end up joining with their energy, and so this is really how we end up feeling drained. 

I’m in charge of how I do and feel and what I think and what I say. And so are you. 

I believe we are here to help each other. And I believe that it doesn’t do you a kindness if I commiserate with your despair, because in my world my despair is made up stuff, the interpretation it is always based upon our own illusions.

We all do this story making, illusion making, we all do this. So nobody’s really that special or that terrible or the only one. We’re all doing this.

And I feel like it’s a great kindness to have somebody in your life who’s like, Hey, I love you, and I’m not going there with you. And then we can remember that what’s really going on is that there is still a miracle happening. Even though that person seems horribly upset.

All is still well, you are loved. Life is still supporting us. You’re a spark in this universe.

I love you. And I’m not going there with you. I don’t go there. I stay outside the dark disco, looking in listening to what’s going on and looking for the bridge to help you cross.

I don’t want to be somebody that commiserate to make you feel better. This never serves anyone. And if you are one of my nearest and dearest, that’s what I count on from you too. 

You got that one person in your life where you’re like, oh, no, they want to spend the day doing this grumpy, bitchy, drama, upset thing and I know what that’s going to be like!

The question becomes, can you make some changes instead of joining somebody else in their chaos?

follow your bliss

It’s better to practice staying out of the energy they bring. And really that means not engaging, not discussing it, not taking it on. And ultimately it means you see them with love. You see them with love. You see them with possibility and ability to stay in this place of knowing it’s not your job and everybody’s got their own choices. And they are free to be where they’re at. Just like you’re free to be where you’re at.

And this brings me all the way back around to what I started out saying:

Who are you? You are an amazeballs, sparkling original. You’re a spark of the Divine, you come from somewhere else. You are connected to this great huge big Cosmos, universe, multiverse you’re everywhere and you’re connected. That’s who you are.

And why would we accept either our own puny stories, feeling bad for ourselves feeling upset, getting scared getting worried? Also, why would we dial back our light for that one other person or that group of people? Why are we going to do that?

Just be you. Show up as you or don’t show up. Because you’re being you. Do you know what I’m saying? Do not betray yourself. Dig deep. When you’re upset when you’re scared, dig deep. There’s an inner being in there that is not afraid of doing what it needs to do to stay aligned with the truest vibes. 

AND… something you may not consider.

When you hide your light when you hide your true feelings when you hide your true opinions when you hide your real perspective, in order to fit in with that one person, what you’re doing is apologizing for who you truly are. I’m sorry about who I really am. I’m going to pretend to be someone I’m not because that matters more. So in a way, it’s like apologizing for your amazing, gorgeous self and your amazing, gorgeous life. Yikes, am I right?

Apologizing for your beautiful life and apologizing for your beautiful perspective is a mistake. It’s not what you’re supposed to be doing. If you hide your light in an effort to make someone else feel better than that’s you apologizing for being somebody who has figured it out (most of the time) and is shining brightly. And we don’t mean to do that, do we?

Your job is not to hold yourself back and measure your responses and be careful, no, don’t tone that down for anybody else! You are responsible for being in love with your life exactly as it is. So you making a move forward in any of the areas I’ve talked about today, remembering your deeper self, and also not betraying who you truly are for anybody else. I call that a miracle. I was thinking about this passage in the Course of Miracles, and I am paraphrasing. The Miracle alone is your concern at present. And here is where we must be in the way will be made serene and simple in your choice to rise up and end the dream of fear. That was from chapter 28 section three, what it’s saying is we’re not worrying about getting to some state of perfect bliss at all times.

What it’s about is recognizing the contrast the ups and the downs and making a new choice. What we’re doing is trying to allow a miracle to be here. And a miracle is just a shift in perception. It’s like the way you spin the story no longer happens for you. Oh, wait, this is not how I want it to be. I want this to be good. That’s the miracle right there. Hang on to it. What this paragraph is saying is once you get going in that it’s going to continue being serene and symbol in that memory to rise up and walk. Don’t lay down here in the middle of the road waiting to be run over.

So whether this conversation is really ringing the bells for you in terms of the people in your life who are so challenging and you feel like you have to join in or be cast out, or it’s just sometimes when you carry the upset around with you. I’m going to raise my hand both hands because this happens to me both ways. Who is perfect? I certainly am not. This is such a practice. But I will say I’m grateful to my suffering because you wake up inside that upset and you’re like, wow, whoa, even though this is so understandable that I’m upset, you could even say how we say I have a right to be upset. Of course, I’m upset. I still don’t want to feel this way. And if you’re like that, what are you going to do?

Come back to your happy heart with this practice. 

Show references below

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⭐A Course in Miracles Quotes:

ACIM CH 28 Section III The Agreement to Join:

What waits in perfect certainty is not our concern. For you have barely started to allow your first, uncertain steps to be directed up the ladder separation led you down. The miracle alone is your concern at present. Here is where we must begin and having started, will the way be made serene and simple in the rising up to waking and the ending of the dream. When you accept a miracle, you do not add your dream of fear….without support, the dream will fade away without effect. It is your support that strengthens it.

You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.

⭐Related links for this episode:

Dr. Mario Martinez – Insights At The Edge Podcast w/Tami Simon PART 1 of 2 (#IATE 11/18/14)

Dr. Mario Martinez – Insights At The Edge Podcast w/Tami Simon PART 2 of 2 (#IATE 11/25/14)

Robin’s posts on abundance plus a few meditations:

⭐Books mentioned in this episode:

The MindBody Code: How to Change the Beliefs that Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success

A course in Miracles: Combined Volume

You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.

Thank you for listening, may it serve you!

Hugs and love,

The ego upset and its stinky voice may never go away but we don’t need to freak! Here’s how we deal and love ourselves through it.

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🎧 Episode 38: How to not get drained by other people or sucked into their drama. Even if their vibes are stinky, here’s how to not go to Doodoo Town. We’ll talk about you staying in the lane of love and being your true self, no matter how anybody else is. And my favorite topic of all! How to NOT apologize for your amazeballs light. Don’t dim that sparkle anyone! Plus, I talk about how it works as an intuitive healer helping friends and tell the story about my Dad being scared people would steal my aura 😜 Do you know any energy vampires or friends who trek to Melancholy Mountain on the regular? Stick with me, we’re talking all of this today (and more!). I share inspo from a favorite author who has some definite thoughts about negative storytelling and the impact on our immune system and read a letter from a friend who is wondering what lengths she must go to in order to raise the vibes (hint, it’s all in the stuff we don’t say out loud!). Plus, Sham-WOW Sham-WOW! Come sing the song with me. Listen to episode 38: Drainers, Dark Disco, #raisethevibe Link in bio for full episode on iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or wherever you enjoy listening Want me to read your letter on the show? DM me here or link in profile 💖 #teawithrobin @robinhallett

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