Picture yourself standing at a powerful crossroads.
In one direction lies the old familiar territory of your life. In the other there’s an uncharted path leading in the direction of your deepest longings. There is fear as you contemplate the obstacles in either direction. So, which road do you choose?
In one direction there’s all the old and familiar stuff. In the new one is this Promise of Maybe…but there might be snakes and zombies that way too.
How obstacles hold us back
You’ve got dreams. You feel desire and a longing for something meaningful to happen in your life. These are the sparks to your flame. You feel excitement and happiness as you imagine this happening in your life. But along with the longings come obstacles. Like the wind that blows out the spark, they’re unpleasant feelings which pop up and leave you feeling like it’s never gonna happen, you are probably going to fail. Sometimes you think: It’s a SIGN! I should just take my Barbies (or my GI Joes) and go home.
Obstacles, road blocks and uncertainty are false evidence appearing real.
Every single day we feel held back by our fear in big and small ways. When we aren’t paying attention, we get tangled up in that old familiar feeling energy; and our nervous system receives the signal that something bad is happening and suddenly we feel prevented from moving forward. Some people spend years in this cycle. I know I did. When it would happen to me, I’d start to feel a bit hopeless and sleepy and somewhere in there I’d begin to crave a day of couch surfing and junk food.
The thing is, this is just a pattern you’re caught in. If you’re interested in moving forward, you will learn to see the pattern rather than getting caught up in the story.
Here is the pattern: Something positive and expansive occurs to you. You’re inspired. You get a glimmer of where you’d like to go, and then poof! an obstacle appears in your mind. Next comes a familiar energy, and it’s usually unpleasant. And that’s the moment when the crossroads appears, you can either go to Crappy-town or Funky-town. This all happens in a span of less than 60 seconds.
There are no small upsets.
I have sat with people from all walks of life who come to me for guidance and want relief from their obstacles. Some are HUGE-assed obstacles for real but other ones are tiny like a hangnail. When I look at the energy field of the person experiencing the overwhelm of overcoming an obstacle, all stories register like the person is under attack. Your nervous system takes the hit, it has no ability to discern big from little.
And this is when the strange cravings happen. This is when I start dreaming of watching Downton Abby and eating chocolates rather than taking action on my idea. My nervous system has taken a hit and now my energy wants to accommodate the shift.
When you treat the obstacle as if it’s the important part, you place it on an altar and your cells will worship it.
This is the most important point: When you don’t stop and realize that you are allowing the upset to matter more to you than your dream, you suffer. And then you waste a lot of time on the upset when you really didn’t want to. You create little eddies to be lost in and these eddies are costly. They keep you from your dream and eventually your body and energy field need to accommodate the story you are living by.
No one means to treat upset as if it’s special and precious but this is what we end up doing.
In my experience, there are people who don’t realize it can be any other way. So day after day, they set off down the old and familiar path. And, there are some people who are just not ready to give up the old and familiar territories. There is a weird kind of comfort in the known, even if it’s a yucky known. Many people you know have spent years being stuck in the same place of hopeless frustration. Going in a new direction can feel like you’re flinging yourself off the cliff sometimes…and that is scarier than the safety of disappointment.
Each of us has a greater fear of succeeding than we realize.
This week’s practice
For this week, the practice is to recognize how this happens for you. Stay present and alert. Notice how you get ideas, and want to take action and then the obstacles and upset appear. Some of you may only notice that you have a sudden craving for a glass of wine or to lay down on the couch with a nice box of cookies. It’s okay. Just notice how it happens for you. Next week I am going to talk about how you tell your mind and nervous system to stand down from red alert and continue on your way.
I invite you to share in the comments any insights you have about your way already. Big hugs and love to you. We’re doing this together!
Rock it like you mean it,