You are worthy of having time just for yourself. Taking this time is vital if you want to heal patterns you’d like to change.
Too many of us have learned to only appear rested, relaxed, easy, happy. But on the inside, it’s another story entirely. If you have anxiety, overwhelm, the guilties, if you struggle to sleep… I want you to know that you are worthy of letting things go in order to have the time you need.
This week’s inspiration: If you weren’t worried about appearances and opinions, what would you be doing? How to create an authentic to-do list.
This week’s featured letter: How do you say no when it feels impossible? If you worry about how you will sound, and who will be upset, this is for you!
All this and more! Come grab a cuppa yum yum and meet me here:
Listen to this episode here or read the transcript (with timestamps) below.
🎧 Listen to Episode 137: You Are Worthy of Having Time for Yourself
This episode is also available wherever you enjoy podcasts or downloadable here:
If this episode has been helpful, I’d appreciate you sharing this with anyone it may help. Click the share buttons above or below, or always I appreciate a review on iTunes
Write to me here: I’ll read your letter and shine a little light for you on an episode.
To support the podcast, consider making a donation here.
Related links for this episode:
The episode about the sticks: 136
Love Posse: https://www.robinhallett.com/subscribe
⭐A Course in Miracles Quotes:
Concept of Private Thoughts – workbook lesson 19
My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world – workbook lessons 12, 13, 14
You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.
Thank you for listening, may it serve you!
Hugs and love,
To support the podcast, consider making a donation here.
Help out the show: Leave a review on iTunes
Write a letter to the show here
It’s me, Robin. Robin Hallett, intuitive healer, and Light Sparkler at Robin hallett.com, and this is Tea with Robin. On today’s episode. If you want to heal things in yourself, in your life, you got to learn to take it easy, give yourself the time to process time to be quiet. So many of us have learned to only look like we’re relaxed, happy, but on the inside, it’s a whole other story. If you have anxiety overwhelm the guilties, If you can’t sleep. If you don’t poop. This is the episode for you. We are always worthy of letting things go in order to have the time, we need our inspiration, a little love for caretakers, and people pleasers. And we’ll have a few letters on the topic of saying, No, this is going to be a good one, so come grab a cup for yum yum, and meet me here.
Well Hello, gorgeous friend. Hello Hello Hello, it’s me. This is Tea with Robin. This is episode 137 137 Hello. If it’s your first time here, welcome aboard. This is a podcast about healing and choosing to stay in the glow, your light. We also talk about real-life stuff, the stuff life people aren’t talking about out loud, so welcome friends returning, how the duty. How have you been this week? Have you been good to yourself, how has the weather in Europe and for some reason I’m thinking about one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movie friends you ride with me a long time now, I often relate things to the same movies over and over and over again, but there was a, I forget which one it was, you know, it was a series, but it was a collection, what do you call that anyway. On Stranger Tides within the title, and they had a fun cast in it. Anyway, we have good On Stranger Tides all year longer than that and the energy is still
continuing, you may be noticing this too that as the world, quote, air quotes here is going back somehow trying to go back. Lots and lots of things are popping up. That needs to be addressed, and their personal things, their emotional things they’re struggling struggle bus things that we have maybe even known that we need to work on within ourselves, things like the way we deal with situations patterns we fall into so many things this week, it just feels like. On Stranger Tides, and so many friends, I walk with, whether we walk together, you know, like in session, or we hang out on Instagram, we talk through direct messaging, you know all the ways that I put content out and you could be in contact with me. We’re walking together. So many of you are going through things right now. And one of the biggest things I noticed that you’re going through is how does my life have meaning now, with everything going on in my life in the world, you know, like, is this going to be the new forever, normal foods, where nothing is quite right. Nothing is great a blanket statement but, so, just whatever it is that you’ve been going through. I hope that you’ll give yourself a moment here to presents it in your own heart, as we get ready to talk today, okay because the sort of what I want to talk about. Yes. So, over here. The weather in my heart has been really good. I’ve been going through evolving in my own journey and it’s been really good. I’ve been facing some, you know it’s not a big deal, but some challenges that I have, you know, stories in my mind things I need to should be doing need to be doing, worries,
stuff like that,
and I’ve been doing them differently, and choosing to stay in the flow with it and trust the flow, did you hear the flow episode last week, it was so good. I shared so many little stories about cool things that have been happening and I got so much mail a lot of you really like that and you relate it and it really helped you. So I suggest if you haven’t heard it go back after you hear this one, go back and listen. The flow the flow the flow and so I’ve been choosing the flow as well, and not really paying attention to. You know the feeling inside my body like I don’t want to do this thing I’m pressuring myself to do right now, I don’t want to. Yeah, I don’t want it just that feeling I don’t want it, and like, instead of just pushing me to do it anyway. And isn’t that what we do, we push ourselves to get it over with. Thinking of alternative ideas. Yeah, and it’s been very cool to see what happens. So before I get too far into it, let’s have some chairs, time to seize Tea with Robin, and of course I have a cup of coffee and a bottle of Lacroix, blah, blah, water, it’s the blues. And guess what, it’s not a bottle. Sometimes, so what are we going to cheers to. I say we cheers to being alive, being on the journey, being awake and
loving ourselves, loving ourselves more fiercely accepting who we are. Cheers.
So, this week. I noticed that, like, in hearing sessions talks with friends, just lots and lots of things, I noticed that. We’ve been very hard on ourselves, and very focused on pushing ourselves to get things done that we think we should be doing. You are going to need to convert this conversation, to your own life and see how this overlays and helps or not. Probably not not though, because you know Hi, it’s me, and we’re awesome over here right. We’ve been pressuring we’ve been struggling, we’ve been controlling in the mind, thinking about things, obsessing on things, unable to let go of things. And the problem with that is we are not here. When we do that, we are not here. If you’re doing something, let’s say you’re making dinner, or you’re having coffee with your beloved in the morning, and your mind is on all the stuff you need to get done in the day, or you’re thinking about that one email somebody sent or you’re annoyed that your partner is being himself, whoever, whatever. You’re not here. You’re taking an inventory of all the things that are wrong with you or all the things that are wrong with your life and why somebody else has it so much better than you. You’re not here. You’re not here. And too many times, I notice, I mean, you’re probably good at this too, you know, when people are interacting with you but they’re not present, right. It’s pretty obvious they’re not really listening, they’re, they’re doing it but they’re not listening. Yeah. Too many of us have learned to just appear to only care about appearing like we’re listening. Like we’re, we’re relaxed, we’re engaged we’re happy, we’re easy, no, we’ve learned to pretend to be interested, pretend to be interested,
his nuts to me but we’ve learned to do that. But you know, for those of us who do that stuff on the inside it’s another story entirely. If you’ve ever done that you probably know what it’s like to be you inside with anxiety with your overwhelm with your more important things you need to get done in the day, you know feeling guilty, all of that. And I guess today I just really want to talk about, like, if you want to heal things in yourself, if you want your life to make sense right now, to feel meaningful or or good what other words, could we say, like you just want to have a sweet day to day experience you want to enjoy your time enjoy your summer. You have to slow things down. You’ve got to learn how to take it easy. And take some space and take some time for yourself but also like take some time if you’re sitting and having coffee with your partner, like, take the time to be there. Put your phone down and be there. Learn to be slow. Learn to be quiet. Learn to soften. Notice how hard it is for you to do that, especially if you have anxiety, if you have overwhelmed, if you, you know, have 1000 shoulds you listen to in your head. We got to do it. There is nobody who heals things, like in the state of anxious stressy not sleeping, and I should say, not pooping, you know, if you’re not pooping. It’s definitely a sign, you’ve got some
being held in that needs to come out. Yeah. If you want to heal things in yourself, you in your life with other people. If you want to feel easy, you got to learn to take it easy. Take it slow. Give yourself some space, focus on what you’re enjoying time alone and on your own. And I can almost hear some people saying they can’t do it. They don’t know how to do that, you know, you don’t know how to do it without multitasking or, you know, like it’s just, it’s difficult. And I remember last summer, I was talking to my wizard, a friend I occasionally see for healing sessions, I was saying, you know so and so invited us for dinner, and zero interest in going. When I kind of feel like we should go, Like go over to their house. This was at the beginning of the pandemic, when we were all like, Okay, can we get together and here are the chairs measured so many feet apart and we will sit down wind I remember all this you know. And I was like I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go, what will we talk about, I have this story sometimes where it’s like, you know, as a person in the healing world, there is almost nothing I can talk about and an average party that doesn’t turn into a problem at some point, because people get weird about it, especially if they’ve been drinking. So, I am always working on blending in. And also staying myself staying true to myself, you know,
it’s such a,
you probably can relate such an interesting practice blending in. But staying myself.
So, my wizard said why can’t you just go and enjoy the night enjoy the surroundings, enjoy the sounds, enjoy the new perspectives, practice, seeing the light and other people thinking about how good it is to be alive how good it is to be on the journey. How blessed we are that we’re not the only one left and civilization you know she had all these interesting perspectives, and it really helped. Basically the takeaway was, how can I see this differently, how can I look at this with new eyes. How can I choose, you know, But I will say it’s still okay to say no. If you don’t want to go I think a lot of us struggle with that. If you’re invited you have to go, because if there’s no easy answer, you can’t say no. Did I just try my best. You can’t say no. You have to go. Yes, you can say no, you can say this doesn’t know. Sorry, maybe some other time, you can say maybe some other time. Maybe some other time is such an. I feel like it’s a universally accepted statement. It’s kind of like the Japanese have that way of saying, no, but they’re saying yes have you heard this, yeah, saying, maybe some other time, is kind of our way of saying, No, we can practice, it’s all right. I guess I’m talking about today, you know, you don’t have to only look the part. You don’t have to only care about saying the right things to look like you’re interested to look like you’re enjoying yourself to look like you’re happy.
Think about it. Growing up, did you ever have even one experience where you were told how you were being or feeling or acting was not okay. I definitely know, I was corrected or shamed or told come back when you can be happy. Come back when you can be in a better mood. These things leave an impact in your nervous system, which speaks to your mind, which speaks to your conscious awareness and pressures you to do things that are not necessarily true. Right. And like I say if you want to heal things. If you want to get better as we sometimes call it if you want to feel more adjusted and free and like yourself, your beautiful self can I say. You have to take things easy, you have to take the space, give yourself the time to process to actually think about, you know, let’s take the two examples I’ve been giving coffee in the morning with your beloved. If you weren’t very present. You have tea with a friend and you weren’t very present. You weren’t, you were distracted and it was challenging, or get invited to somebody’s house and you don’t want to call. No, if you, if you want to get better as we say need time to process. Why am I doing that, what’s going on for you kiddo, not what’s wrong with you what’s wrong with you, you always do this. You’re such a pill. You’re such a pain. Everybody is smooth and easy except for you, you know, don’t do that. No, that’s not it, give yourself space and time to process time alone, and on your own, quiet, slow to be in your wonderment, I wonder why it’s so challenging for you.
I wonder why you’re having this reaction. I wonder why you’re feeling so guilty. You know, the saint feels soothing already does that feel like there’s an opening happening here. It does for me.
If there are difficult people in your life situations that feel difficult, you know you’re especially be relating to this, I’m guessing, and like I say, if you can’t rest you can’t relax,
certain behaviors, you know, one too many bags of Doritos. Don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t be mean to yourself, sit with it. Let yourself be a friend to your own heart. I’m going to link this episode I did a few weeks back, because it’s very helpful to this what I’m saying today. Be a friend to your own heart. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re not easy in your body. If you have anxiety. Overwhelm guilties the guilties you know if you struggle, struggle, like I say if you have a hard time going to the bathroom if you get constipated regularly, out of stress. And isn’t that amazing, no matter what you eat. No matter what you’re doing, you can still get constipated, because it’s an emotional thing. And that area of the body is a chakra called the first chakra. There’s a powerful energy they’re powerful In yoga we say the Mula Bandha, there’s a powerful sphincter there. All the stuff I’m saying here today, But, just listen, it’s very fascinating things become very very tight when we don’t feel safe when we can’t relax when we don’t feel easy. And that’s why we can get hung up. And it’s very important to not approach that situation with even more stress and pressure. No. Your body is really like a barometer of what your mind has been terming your emotional emotional body is returning. So you’ve got to take it easy. You got to honor what is got to learn to honor what is instead of just getting rid of it, because it’s so uncomfortable. Does that make sense. You are worthy of doing this work. You are important. You matter you’re valuable. Your presence here is valuable. You have value. And you’re worthy of letting things go so that you have time to process. How you are in what you need. Does that make sense. Like, it’s okay. Stop pressuring yourself. This will it will be hard if you’re in that habit, it will be hard, but you can stop, knowing your permission to stop is okay. like you are always loved. You are always wanted in cherish and welcome. And you are not in trouble, if you’re not getting shit done, not in trouble. If you read relate to not being in trouble though, you might recognize a pattern that you would do anything to not be in trouble. Including taking care of all kinds of things that you don’t even know if it’s an issue or not your mind is decided, you’re in trouble because you didn’t do, let’s say you didn’t call people back you didn’t check on your kids you didn’t do the housework, you still haven’t hung any of the paintings you haven’t unpacked the boxes you, you’re in trouble because you bought things you shouldn’t be spending money on, you know, all this stuff. Our mind is just going nuts, listing out for us, and then we spend time actually taking that list, and making it right, you can let it all go. That’s you pressuring yourself, you can stop pressuring yourself. You’re not in trouble. If you’re not getting stuff done.
The other day a friend of mine said you know I’ve been really worried my income, I work with a lot of us are what I would call solopreneurs. We work for ourselves, there’s no corporation, you know, we work for ourselves, and that’s a special kind of thing where you can, you don’t know, always where your money, where the money could come from, and where the work will come, and it can feel a frightening place to be. If you don’t have a spiritual practice. This is according to rob and of course, it’s not the law. You don’t have a spiritual perspective on the flow, the flow is always bringing you what you need, you can listen back last week to my episode about flow and the story about me collecting sticks is perfect for this. The flow is always bringing us what we need, but if we don’t engage in the practice with that if we don’t actually say like to my friend who was saying I’m worried about the billing. This month I did the billing it’s already down and we’re going into summer and this and that and I was saying to him. You could relax. Don’t pressure yourself. Don’t stay in your office, kind of making the finger motions over your keyboard in a busy stance, this. Can you picture this, like In yoga we have poses in the busy pose you just hovering over the keyboard with your eyes very alert on the monitor, and you’re just like, like that, where were we,
scared scared scared worried right right oh my god oh my god, that’s, you can stop pressuring yourself, my friend. You’re not in trouble. If you’re not getting shit done. There is a force, so much greater than you. And so many times I say to friends, no. And let me just say you’re not opening to the openness, the expanse of this whole universe, whatever your background is, how did the moon get up there people. How is it possible that we have stars, and these beautiful the Milky Way, you know nebulas and you couldn’t do that on your own. You’re not that smart, that there is an intelligence. That is, and you are encompassed by this intelligence. You are held within that intelligence. Wouldn’t it be lovely. Even if it seems weird to open. Stop pressuring yourself open, let some of this out. I’ve talked to you about this concept of private thoughts from the Course of Miracles. When we’re really upset or struggling, we keep things really tight inside ourselves, we don’t even open it up to our own minds, our worry our fear and forget about opening to the universe. You know, forget about the idea of connecting with the cosmos in this way of saying, I have been so pressured. Please carry me today oh my god, no. Your mind goes right to prayer and it gets all weird, but that wasn’t weird. Go stand outside. The other day, number one, number one husband who is amazing. He’s working on a big database project, like, hundreds of people in this field will be so helped, because he’s done something that used to be, you know everybody has five days of paperwork to get this stuff looked up and figured out and now it’s one button, and it is so amazing, the ease of flow now these people will have, and you know there’s going to be an adjustment for people who have spent five hours of a day, organizing, you know, monthly collecting the data. It’s going to be stressful, but you can approach this with the same flow like, wow, we’re going to have more time open to us more time and space, open. What will we do with this time. Most of us great it was panic and fear. Don’t waste your time on panic and fear, get out and do something you say you want to do. This is why I’m building a cute, I’ve decided my whole yard is going to be a theme of glamping this year, you know glamping camping glamping so fun. And I said to Jeff. If the pillows get wet, they get wet. I don’t care, We’re going to have it be cool and special and fun. When I have slow time. And I feel anxious or excited eager energy because you often can’t tell, I’m going to pour my heart into that project, it’s very fun. We need things like that to do. So we don’t just worry over everything, you know. Yeah. So my friend who was worried about the money and the monthly billing, I said to him, you know, if you have less to do in the month instead of hovering over the keyboard, Why don’t you go put your energy into something. When you’re too busy, you always dream about doing, do you have this. Yeah, when you’re so busy. You’re like, God, I need a day off, what is it that you want to do on your day off, go do that now and see if that doesn’t bring the flow, your way. Again, the speaking of flow. If you heard my stick episode and you heard the great story about how I was worried. And while I was picking up sticks and doing things in the yard. I booked,
like multiple sessions. My but also ordered groceries. That was the best part I had been thinking I don’t have time to be out here screwing around in the yard I have to get things done like order groceries, while my buddy ordered them and arrange the delivery, even left a tip for sure. I forgot to tell you that on the bags when you get home delivery from Whole Foods, they stamp a word on every bag. I don’t know, it comes on the sticker probably how they can keep it together. Do you know what my word was. My word was honor. I forgot to tell you that would have been the best icing on the cake, honor, like, honor the flow. Honor how you’re feeling, honor, what’s happening for you, my friends, Too many of us have learned to only appear relaxed and easy, and happy. What if, on your insides, it was the truth. What if you learn to greet your anxiety or your failure to poop with curiosity and wonderment and love, love. Yeah, instead of get out of here. Get, I got to get rid of this, I got to get this solved guy get this done. Got to eat more fiber, take some magnesium, you know, you just think I’m worthy of the time to take care of myself and love myself here, and not pressure on myself and not be in trouble. And one more thing before I stop for today. There’s no hurry. My friend, there is no hurry. You’re all right. You’re right on time, you’re right on track. The place you’re trying to get two is always called here. And here is here, it’s right now. All you need to do is be here now and be good to yourself. It’s a very helpful practice and a reminder. Now, me. May this serve you today. You are so worthy and perfect and lovely exactly as you are exactly as you are. Here’s our inspiration today. Are there any caretakers, in the room today. Are there any people pleasers here in the room today.
Years ago I wrote an article called caretaker people pleaser rescuer, or something, I’ll have to look it up, it had the best art, little birds, dressed up as nurses and doctors, I loved it. Yeah, the worry of pleasing everyone else means you never get to enjoy it yourself. That’s the truth. And it just goes hand in hand with what I’ve been talking about today. Your worry is kind of a controlling thing, it’s controlling your own mind and it’s controlling the process of how you interact with everyone else as well, it’s always commentating. It’s telling you what to do and you’re just not thinking of yourself in a way that is really like first person perspective. So the inspiration. This week is if you weren’t thinking about everybody else, what would you be doing now. If you weren’t worried about what everyone else has to say, or needs to have or the reaction. What would you be doing. So many of us are so full of the to dues and the controls and the worries and the thoughts that we don’t have time to enjoy ourselves. And that makes it so much harder because we believe that we’re too busy to enjoy ourselves. So, this exercise or experience it’s often when I give people and healing sessions for homework. Make a list of to do’s, that are real, like if I wasn’t worried about my kids, if I wasn’t worried about what my husband would say if I wasn’t worried about what my mother in law needs. If I wasn’t worried about looking lazy. If I wasn’t worried about, you know, being judged, this is what I would be doing, and then spend some time doing your thing, taste your own food, cook for yourself, if you like cooking taste your own food, enjoy the fruits for you. Get out in the yard, you know, paint, do the things you want to do. Don’t make your bed if you don’t want to make your bed, make your bed, you know, think about yourself first, and spend the week if you like this, taking some things off your list instead of the things you’re always doing the because the problem with people pleasing and caretaking and rescuing is, you continue to develop a pattern of ignoring your own needs and once you have learned to be valuable, by what you do for everyone else, and that will be hard to give up. At first, you’ll have anxiety about it, just like the people who my husband made the database for now that all they do is press a button, there’s probably some people who are going to be freaked that they might not have a job now. Let’s open to this great big universe, and know we are always held in love, and in the flow, and it’s gonna be better than all right. Could you imagine for yourself something better than you could ever expect. How surprising and wonderful that would feel. Well, you can allow yourself to have that day my friend. So there you go. Hope you’ll give this a whirl, spend some time on you. It’s a very good thing as Martha Stewart would say cheers. Well friends, this is the part of the episode, I like to ask you, would you please share this episode on. If you’re enjoying this content posted somewhere, tell a friend, write a review, you can always leave a donation. And I’m also super happy to see you for a healing session if that feels like the right to get. I appreciate so much your love and support, and I always love hearing how much you appreciate that I show up here every single week. If you’re feeling helped, I would appreciate you sharing the love on in any way that feels right to you. I always love seeing your stories on Instagram or Facebook when you tag the podcast, and you share what you love. It’s so great. So thank you thank you
thank you. I heard a fantastic story the other day that a friend who went on to share the podcast with a friend of hers. You know, and then they talk to friends and then they talk to friends. Anyway, the new friend who’s now listening, who’s been really dealing with some difficult challenges, and has insomnia very intensely is enjoying falling asleep listening to the podcast, and I tell you all the time. I don’t mind if you want to sleep with me. It’s okay. You know, whatever gets you there, my friend. Just Thank you always for sharing on. I appreciate it, too. Here’s today’s letter. It’s not so much of a letter is a collection of texts, and conversations that I have been having with friends and clients, friends on the journey clients and healing sessions, etc. And it has to do with saying no, so I don’t have something to read to you, per se, but earlier in the week. Well, let me say this first, I was just telling you that I had talked to my wizard about going to the neighbor’s house, and for dinner and now that I now that I’ve gone once you kind of experience what there is to experience. And you make up your mind, and my mind is made up in the answer of being, no. And then, if you’re at all like me you worry about how will I say no if they ask us again. Right. How do I get out of this. And if you’re especially worried about it. You might not even want to go outside of your house. If you think they might be out to write this, these are things I have heard for years and years and years, and sometimes when people say to me your podcast you’re so brave you share so vulnerably. All I can tell you is I hear this stuff in session, all the time, it’s just that. Maybe you don’t talk to anybody else about it, or, you know what I mean with this is really a thing that we can get lost in and ruminate about, um, you know it’s especially big with neighbor stuff. What do you say to not do the thing. sometimes in healing sessions, you know, I’ll meet somebody for the first time, I’ll say, you know, here’s how we can work together. Here’s how I work, you know, when I talk about that and occasionally they’ll say well I was thinking maybe we could meet for lunch next time deadheaded it out, and it’s difficult for a moment, because you don’t want to hurt people’s feelings and you don’t want anyone to feel rejected, but you know it’s good to be honest, and it’s good to have a policy, as well, and my policy is i, where if I meet you in the healing room. That’s where we meet. It’s very rare that we would.
better unless it was a very special circumstance, a significant life event, that feels okay to me and I, it’s really important to have an ethical boundary. It’s, they teach you this in school but for me personally, I have experienced blurry lines with my family, with other professional people who were not so, ethical, it has been very damaging, and in my position, I feel like it’s my responsibility to hold the line for people who may not understand why, and maybe they had an upbringing, similar to mine, where the lines were blurry and they just don’t know how to build a healthy relationship. That doesn’t screw intimacy up. Yeah. Yeah, another example, I’m thinking about Super recently. This is me trying to figure out how to say this just in case. Yeah. Here I am, some acquaintances of ours, invited us to a thing, and a public, like an event. And the thing is, it’s not just that we’re in the middle of a pandemic and, you know, yes, maybe you’re vaccinated, whatever, but you don’t have to rely on the pandemic, as your excuse if you don’t feel a connection with the people you don’t go, you don’t go, because you don’t know how to say no, you have to find the way to say no. And people ask me all the time. How do I say no. How do I say no so in case that all rolled out not very clear. We got invited do a thing with these people. And we don’t necessarily enjoy hanging out with the people. Period. You’re not going to love everyone why we think we’re supposed to love everyone and get along with everyone and say yes to everyone. It’s just ridic, and it’s probably not even your truth, but how you were made to feel in your life, you know that you always were taking care of everyone else. So our only job is to be honest, and honesty doesn’t mean that you blow people out of the water with your truth, because it’s just your opinion. If you don’t like somebody or you don’t like the way they are or you don’t gel or you feel like they live in a strange way, or you feel they’re not awake. You know, let’s not be a holes in our honesty, please. You don’t need to tell people you’re not really my type, or, you know, you’re not my cup of tea. I love Lauren Graham, and there’s this great movie. Well, according to me, it’s great, I’ve seen it a million times, it’s called The Answer Man, I’ll put this link in the show notes. If you go to around and health.com slash 137. But in the scene. Lauren Graham is a single mom and she’s dating, and I don’t know if she cuts the date short, they’re on a first date if she cuts the date short or they’re just like wrapping up after dinner and they’re going out and he’s assuming they’re going to go on for a coffee or a drink somewhere. And she says, You know, I think I’m gonna go home and he says, I thought we were having a connection here and she said, You know I really feel like the thing about a relationship is that you should want to fight for somebody, you know, that’s a sign that you want to be together, and I will never fight for you. I just feel like I’m never gonna want to fight for you. And she walks off, and, like, it was funny in the movie but let’s not blow people out of the water with our truths, but we also don’t have to lie. So where does that leave us. As I was saying earlier, maybe some other time is a universal code, I think. But also, if they’re inviting you to an event, you can simply say that’s not our jam, it’s not really our thing. I would encourage you to not blame everything on the pandemic because it concerns me that that’s becoming a crutch to
get out of having to do your work, you know if you have issues with your mother in law, let’s say are your, you know, somebody else in your family and you keep using that as the excuse, eventually it’s going to be so obvious. No, you’re going to have to find another way. How about the one where the person invites themselves over and doesn’t even stop to ask or check in with you, or better yet they invite themselves on your vacation. They invite themselves to come stay with you on vacation. They tell you they’re going to come stay with you. This happens all across the world, every single day, people feel they have no choice, and so they say yes, and they try and make the best of it. You get to say no. And I tell you what you are stronger than you know, you’re able to bear the temporary feelings that will come that you’ve been maybe trying to avoid because you want to be a good person you want to look like a good person. But inside all of us, it’s really the most important that we feel awake, and we feel, honoring of who we truly are, that we honor who we are and who we are is fully deserving of the life we feel proud to claim, and that means one where you don’t betray your principles. You don’t portray your ethics, you know in client therapist relationships. It’s not very ethical to go out to lunch with people, you know, but it’s also important to not blow people out of the water, like they don’t matter, you know. Yeah. You’re worthy of your free time, you’re worthy of not having to entertain people you don’t want to entertain, especially in your own home, especially overnight for multiple nights now. So it’s really important. The bottom line is, instead of asking how do I say no. How do I get out of this. Now I can remember this years ago my healer would say the most important thing, Robin, is that you don’t go, you got to hold on to that, no matter what, no matter how you do it, no matter how you say it right now the most important thing is don’t,
you’re not going, you’re not doing the thing. It’s really good to get that clear because your mind will be like, how do I say no, how do I get out of this, how
do I, what do I tell them, and it’s so empowering to realize here I am still worried about what they’re gonna say, Think and Do you matter the most. We need to honor who we are and honor our journey honor our experience, and sometimes know is the kindest thing we can say. And frankly, it’s not our problem, how people respond is not our problem. Don’t make it your problem. I mean, be mindful Be thoughtful. No I am not somebody there are a lot of people I know who speak honestly, and it comes across very rude. I’m not interested in being rude or hurtful, but if somebody hears it that way. I can’t control that. You can’t control that. So those are my thoughts for today my friend. Let’s end it there,
you know I’m here for you. If it feels like a session would be helpful at this time. Please check into that the link below this podcast I offer a sliding scale as well. And I suggest signing up for my newsletter every week, I write Happy Mail to the love classy Wednesday mornings. Always inspirational, supportive, addressing real things that not a lot of people are talking about out loud, we need more support around these topics so I’m here for that. And, yeah, I’ll be here again with you next week, or in a few minutes. Well this has been me, Robin Hart sparkler halat have a beautiful week and I’ll see you next time. Bye. Life is very short, let’s make the very most of you are a precious gentleman.
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo,
doo, shine and shine bright you, our life is precious. Right. Good. You mean he really really
Transcribed by https://otter.ai