I have a saying: It is impossible to receive what you do not value.
If you’re a supporter of others, do you receive support for yourself?
If you’re a coach to others, do you receive coaching?
Artists, healers, teachers… do you allow yourself to receive what you yourself give out?
Why am I asking? Why is this important?
Wholeness is about honoring both the giver and receiver inside you. The thing you say you want to give the world cannot come in if you yourself are not receiving the thing you say you want. And it’s true in reverse as well, you cannot fully appreciate what you are taking in unless somewhere you are also sharing this energy with others.
Do we really allow ourselves to receive?
I look at it like we need midwives to help us birth certain aspects of ourselves. It just isn’t possible to go it alone. You need a little help. It’s okay. It doesn’t mean you are weak or not good enough. It doesn’t mean that your skills are lacking.
Your receiving is tied to your abundance
You might not have thought of it this way: Most of us say we want abundance, and we want to book a lot of clients, sessions, courses; we want to sell a lot of products; often though we are not comfortable including our own self care and support in this plan.
What if we trusted that our own support mattered just as much as the help we offer to others?
After all the years of making mistakes and not honoring my money, I didn’t want to spend even more on getting help for myself. I felt scared to do that. It just didn’t make sense to me, I was pinching my pennies.
The irony was that I could spend money on my business all day long because it seemed to be related to helping others and earning money, which was the thing I thought I was going for. I could pay for business services: business cards, marketing advice, technical support. I could pay the lawyer to incorporate my business, the accountant to do my taxes. I could buy supplies for my healing room: candles, oils, crystals, and tea! Lots and lots of tea and pretty cups… I could even give sessions at lower rates to people who needed a break.
But I could not pay for someone to help me, I was reluctant to work with a healer for myself because I worried about the money. I didn’t feel I could justify the expense. I worried it seemed selfish, frivolous.
Do you have stories about that too?
I mean this with a lot of love and affection: what if your story that you cannot afford it, or don’t have the time, or that help isn’t necessary for you is total and utter bullsh*t? What if it’s an excuse masking the fear preventing you from actually receiving the kind of love and encouragement you need in order to get to where you want to be?
What if, receiving the very work you are offering in the world is EXACTLY what you need to be doing in order to be a vital, healthy, sparkly force of love in the world?
If we do not advance beyond our circle of comfort to receive help and support in areas which keep us held back, it’s unlikely we will advance to where we want to be.
No more gold stars for toughing it out…
I have been receiving regular support from the same person for years. I have nothing but happiness in my heart to tell you this. She is a lifesaver, ass kicker, and the mother I never had. She sees parts of me I cannot.
Don’t encourage the part of yourself who celebrates not needing help.
This part in you is likely wounded and misunderstands what it means to receive love. Besides, when you won’t receive help and you yourself are in a helping field it’s less likely people will feel easy paying you for help (or buying your products…).
Call it an energetic hunch of mine: People will not value in you what you will not receive in yourself.
No random drive-bys please
I hope this doesn’t come out the wrong way: I know people who are serial bookers. They call me for sessions when everything is in a pickle. Hot mess city. I find that over time this pattern points to a person’s inability to receive help. A wounded receiver. If I know the person well enough I will do my best to explain why it’s important to become more regular with receiving support. Sometimes people assume it’s me just being in this for the money, and I can’t do much about that… I know the value of receiving and allowing oneself to be seen.
Spoiler alert: Letting yourself be seen by just one person can be scary.
When someone sees you regularly, you are going to be seen! This person will know you in a way you might not feel comfortable or easy being seen. Take your time. Committing to receive and be supported by one person (or two) who can have a chance to know you, be present with you, and understand you is a very big deal.
You will be putting some very big energies into balance when you do this: You are worthy and you matter and what you are offering the world is worthy and it matters.
We’re gonna need a bigger boat people! More permission sparkles for everyone 🙂
Don’t squeeze your needs in too small of a container. You need more than that to allow for your transformation.
Be generous with yourself, not only with spending money but with allowing space and time and for your needs.
Be confident in this: Giving AND receiving bring you into wholeness and that’s when the magic happens. You need courage and more heart power. And yes, you might have to make some adjustments in your monthly nut to accommodate your needs my friend. It’s okay. You’re worth it.
It’s my philosophy that we’re here on the planet to evolve as souls–to work on our lifetime themes and advance our consciousness–and I absolutely know that the gems you retrieve as you do the ‘work’ you yourself are offering in the world will only enhance the magic.
Sending you peace and love. Rock it like you mean it!