Office politics can be challenging enough.
When a difficult co-worker is thrown into the mix, it can feel like things are going to hell in a handbasket.
But before you quit your job, or move to a new department, or (gasp) hit them over the head with your stapler, read on!
HI Robin: I am working in hell. My co-worker is driving me crazy. I was given a small promotion recently and it seems like she is mad at me about it. She hasn’t spoken to me since the announcement was made.
When I’m near she begins to whisper to the other office employees. It’s like I did something wrong but I honestly don’t know what I did. I keep trying to figure it out.
I feel really stupid for saying this-I feel scared and nervous and it’s really difficult to be here. I keep thinking about quitting but I know that seems so drastic. I could really use some support. Thanks!
First of all, congratulations on your promotion! I am sure this has been overshadowed by the childish behavior of your coworker. Make sure you do something really fun for yourself to celebrate, ok? No need to hide out in shame because one booger in the office is pouting and making things hard.
First of all, you are not responsible for the happiness of others.
That’s the deal. You just aren’t.
This is a situation where you’re dealing with a petty tyrant. The more you give her your energy, the more powerful she becomes in your mind.
Make a decision that as of today, you have a new policy:
1. I do not own other people’s crap.
2. I do not cater to petty tyrants.
This experience is an offering for you to do your journey in a deeper way.
Yes, it is really hard when someone is behaving badly around you. And while this is going on, your mind is doing a constant replay of the events. It’s like no matter what you do, that story is going and going and going!
How we react has everything to do with our history and life experience.
If you can let go of that story for a minute, and just allow yourself to sit with the feelings that are coming up, you may begin to notice something very old and familiar is surfacing to be healed.
Where else in your life have you felt this way?
While it’s easy to believe this problem began when your co-worker behaved like a small child, dig a little deeper and you’ll find this situation is familiar.
Take a scan on the inside. Get a felt sense of the feelings around this issue. Is your reaction familiar to you?
Where else in your life was this feeling present?
How is this situation familiar?
If you wanna dump this energy and embrace your life in a bigger way, here are the steps:
For every situation you find that’s an energetic and emotional match to this story with your co-worker, give yourself the healing response:
Ask: what would I have needed to hear in order to feel safe and okay again?
Answer: make the kinds of gestures and statements (this is imagery work at it’s best) that will soothe the place and release the energy.
Now, get back to work with your hip-waders on!
Now that you know this situation triggers more in you that is about your history, you can go back to work and know there is nothing this co-worker can do or say that can harm you.
But, it’s gonna take some practice. So remember my suggestions for policies:
1. I do not cater to petty tyrants.
2. I don’t own other people’s crap.
I completely believe in you! I know you can do this. Remember, it’s not about the other person- it’s about you. The more you can embrace this, the better. Let me know how it goes, ok?
How can I help you?
Get in touch with me here, if you need a little light shined.