Every single one of us is moving through changes now. Learning to accept what is without listening to the terror of getting stuck here forever is where it’s at.
If we really want things to change, if we want to evolve in our lives, the first step begins with embracing what’s happening and all of how we’re feeling now.
I offer a process of assessing our situation and learning to accept what is so that we can shift into what feels right for us. I share some examples when people I’ve worked with become resistant (which is normal and totally alright) and they begin to attack the person who helps you, hi that’s me (and I am less OK with that part). I also share about Winston the wonder dog who was exactly the same. 🌟🐕 And I know how it’s easier to see it in our grumpy pets sometimes… 😁
I share interesting inspiration on self-care for the caregiver. Some things you might not always be thinking about when it comes to the services you provide to others. And we’ll have a beautiful letter from #narcissistfree — on recognizing the patterns and beginning again.
All this and more come grab a cup of yum yum and meet me here.
Listen to this episode here or read the transcript (with timestamps) below.
🎧 Listen to Episode 106: Accepting what IS, Care for YOU, #narcissistfree
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Hello Beloved. It’s me Robin, Robin Hallett intuitive healer and Light Sparkler at Robin hallett.com. And this is Tea with Robin, on today’s episode, if we really want things to change if we want to evolve in our lives, and always begins with embracing how we’re feeling now on accepting what is and how do we do that, plus some inspiration on self-care for the caregiver. Some things you might not always be thinking about when it comes to the services that you provide to others. And we’ll have a beautiful letter from hashtag narcissist free on recognizing the patterns and beginning again, all this and more. come grab a cup of yum yum. And meet me here.
Well hello, gorgeous soul. It’s me, Robin. Come back to the podcast. Tea with Robin. This is Episode 106 106 for the wind my friend, and if it’s your first time here Hi, it’s me, Robin, welcome aboard. This is an amazing space to be in. And I’m so glad you joined us and my deep gratitude for you giving this a listen. Friends right at the top before I begin I want to just remind the fall that the mountain next door is being built. There’s a lot of noises I noticed today I every time I say that on the podcast, I can barely hear anything. But I still like to say it just in case. Because you know what if I’m in the middle of the best nugget of our lives, and the guy hits the air compressor 800 times, you just never know. So I’m just letting you know A lot of noise is going on. Bless those workers. They’re doing a gorgeous job. So welcome back. Welcome back, my friend. How are you doing today? How is the weather in your heart? Always my prayer that you’re here, really hear you’re staying here with yourself that you’re being gentle and kind and that you are allowing your day to be your own choices and changes you’re making and taking and doing are and you’re awake to and conscious of you know that you’re really being present with yourself. So thanks for being here.
Over here. The weather in my heart is really it’s really good. I am a bachelorette for the next five days. #1husband is away on his annual good guys fishing trip. And, you know, I was super conflicted about him going. Because hi, pandemic… but the guys have been talking about this. They’ve been discussing the COVID situation and whether or not it was comfortable, what they wanted to do who, you know, they’ve just been really working it out for themselves. And after about a month of back and forth discussion, they decided they’re all going to go there together. I’m glad they went. And I haven’t felt really any concern anymore. I was worried leading up you know how that is. So he’s been doing that trip since I’ve been doing that trip for about 30 years, maybe more, and some of these friends have been since junior high, which I think that’s so beautiful. Yeah. Really sweet. So, after going on, and I have the house to myself, I’m a bachelorette. I am practicing not just filling my day with busy, busy work, practicing staying present with myself and running the quiet and the freedom to do what I want and make my own. And I always had that freedom. But you know, when you’re a couple, it changes things. If you know what I mean. You’re not I mean, right? So Oh, yeah. All right. Did you bring some yummy I’m with you. I’ve got a whole tray over here. But right now I’m lifting my cup of Earl Grey, stevia and sea salt to you beautiful soul to us, here’s to being alive and here’s to being present in the moment now. Cheers. But before I begin today’s essay, as I like to call it, I want to say even though this might be a little late, I am thinking about you. This is a time like there’s a lot of fires happening in California and the Pacific Northwest, there’s a lot of I’m not going to say it perfectly. So I’m gonna just say I love you, and I’m thinking of you and be safe. Thank you in there, Bill, what you know, we need to be doing some and I’m praying for you. All right view and seeing the things coming myth No. Now intense. Also, you Mamas and papas sending your kids back to school. Some of you have sent kids to college and they’re already coming home. You know the quarantine stuff has been going. things have been happening. Some of you are going back to work. campuses where you work said September you have to come back. A lot of different things I hear in a day and I need to know I’m holding space with you. I’m sending my love. I’m seeing you in that. And you are not alone. You’re not forgotten. transition is a weird thing. There’s an energy of transition that And change? No, it’s really something we have been going through this energy for a long time now because of it began with COVID, obviously. So it’s an intense time, every new move, whether it’s a micro move or big, big thing, you know, like the stuff I just named.
It’s intense in the body. It’s intense on the psyche. It’s intense in the emotional body. So please be so very kind and gentle with yourself. Love yourself. Take your time. You know, resist the urge to overdo. Make sure you’re taking extra time to rest. It’s important. And especially if you feel you can’t take the time to rest. That must really mean you need more, you know, subdue, do right by you. Okay? The other day I saw a post, I saw, I see many posts like this I follow. I like to follow people I want to learn from. And sometimes I end up learning things that I didn’t intend to learn. I learned things I didn’t like learning. And one of them I’ve been seeing lately is this statement about the United States, shame on our country, shame on this country. And it’s really like in response to stuff like Black Lives Matter, and oh, our political lots going on with the politics and it’s all politics and the medicine stuff going on in the medical world right now. I do not agree. And you know why I don’t agree. Shame on our country. What? You and I are here and we are people with amazing hearts and Love. And we show up every day in our hearts. Doing what we can, staying present, wishing others well practicing remembering who we truly are remembering the journey. So I wanted to be one person to say that to you today that if you see stuff like that going around I know that you and I exist and all of our friends, we’re here doing the work. We’re here doing sharing the love. We’re here showing up and doing our best, making the choice to return the respond with love to respond with fierce love sometimes for sure. But, you know, let’s stay awake. Let’s stay present. Let’s see if it feels right for you as well. Let’s not make those blanket statements or pass those along. Because how could it ever be true when we are here as well? I know so many of you right now. Volunteering me to every day I do morning magic every day without fail. I haven’t missed one. You know, I would never say shame on this country. I mean, I get the sentiment, but I also want to say I see you and you are doing beautiful things. So keep going and see stuff like that and it makes you feel bad. You know what you need to do, right? Okay, good. All right. Thank you. He said, a friend friends today I thought I would talk a little bit about what To follow up some more, I hope you’re liking my follow ups to the other follow. But the theme today I wanted to talk about is, you know, this brave new world we’re in. I’m going to call it a brave new world. endemic, so much going on, you know, so much changing. How are we going to find our way? How are we going to navigate our way? Almost everybody I’m connected to whether it’s a little bit or a lot a bit. And notice there is a shift in evolution happening, a reveal? There’s some way we’re all going a little deeper into Who am I? What am I doing? What do I want to be doing? And the word if I sum something up, if I could sum it up, it would be authentic authenticity and authentic choices. Authentic Take moods. This is something
well, it’s happening all around. I think it’s a global energy. It’s a personal energy, these authentic moves. And so you can relate to that at all. It’s really important now to learn how to be up yourself, be present up yourself be here in this moment right now this moment and to start to have a sense of who you are. And I say start to have a sense of who you are because we are changing. The world is changing. The movements are changing. Even the weather is changing. Even the seasons are changing. There’s so much happening. It reminds me of air travel. bumpy landings do remember that episode, bumpy landings, I’ll link this stuff up anything I say like that. I’ll link it up on my website on my website. In the sorry. in the show notes, this will be at Robin Hallett comm slash 106. I’ll be landings. It’s like you’re on a plane, there’s a difference in takeoff and landing and just flying straight. We’re never flying straight. Okay, this is an Audi going off the rails or what? Anyway, it’s a big time of change. Let’s just go back to that. Okay, shower. Now is new and you are new Archer, or Java. Take a moment and consider all the things that happen All of them in a moment. Okay, just kidding. No, but what’s coming to mind for you right now like what has been changing for you? In your world lately?
One of the things I noticed for me is that I’ve been really acclimating to accepting things as they are without deciding that they’re going to be this way forever. And this is a huge shift. For me. I’ve been noticing. I feel so blessed to still have clients and offering Healing Sessions and rock star readings and of course, we’re doing our more morning Magic on Instagram, to see how every single one of us is moving through stuff. And learning to, for me really us learning to accept what is out there terror of getting stuck here forever is if you want something to change. If we want something to evolve, then we have to embrace our feeling and what’s going on. In order for something to change, in order for the next movement to happen, we have to fully play this one out. If that makes sense. If we are so resistant to what’s happening, we get stuck there giving more energy to this part of us. That is 15 minutes, because we don’t like it. So acceptance is where it’s at. You can even accept that you don’t like it. I say it all the time. I don’t like it. I accept that. I don’t like this. I accept that. I feel like you know what, right now I accept that. I’m mad as heck. That does not sound good. But I like to click the clean button on the apple podcasts. If you were on morning magic, you know what I’d be saying right now. I’m mad. I except I’m mad. I accept. You know, I accept it. I can’t even tell you. I hope you will try this. Let me know what happened for you with your second finger. You don’t have to like it. But can you accept that you don’t like it? Can you accept that you’re feeling this way? Can you accept that things are changing. I even think about when when COVID began I’ve said this several weeks now and overnight my healing practice like Brown was stopped. And I got scared for about three days. And when I realized the zombie apocalypse really was just a thing in movies out. I said I accept things are changing. And you know what? The minute I said, I accept that things are changing. I accept that I feel afraid. all this other stuff came rushing in and I realized I have been waiting to make a change. I’ve been wanting to make a change but I wasn’t quite aware that something needed to change. I was feeling some of that ho hum energy that happens when you just cruise along in a comfortable little speed and And I wanted to make a change. And that change is happening and happening and happening. It continues to roll and evolve and thank goodness, I could accept it, I could name it and claim it and accept it and keep going. So if you understand what I’m saying, I hope you will practice this with me. I’m listening to people sharing their experiences, transition, change, the resistance that we feel to things really hangs us up it really make prolongs the process. And so really, all we ever need to do is move into acceptance of what is or non resistance. You know, if you take something that happened today, something you’re upset about or something you’re Either by or there’s a sense of general overwhelm. For a lot of us, we could just start with the breath
and say it’s overwhelming. I’m noticing I feel overwhelmed in this moment, or I’m noticing I feel sad in this moment. If you’re somebody who’s you had a, you had a track you were on before COVID began, you had a, you know, a plan. You were doing something and things changed overnight for you. Yeah, I’m sad. I’m feeling sad. In this moment. I’m feeling sad right now. Hold on to your body when you say it.
I had to pause high and back I had to pause for a minute there. So, like I said, Hold on to your body. And now it’s 444 on the clock at the same time, hold on to your body. Then all the sirens started coming, and I could hear the saw blade next door. accepting what is allows things to change allows the next movement to come. It helps you get out of your freaking head, where you believe you’re at the control booth controlling everything and preventing other things from happening. And it allows the natural rhythm of life to take place. And for every friend, I’ve been watching this happen, especially in business, something changed and you’re like, Oh my god, what am I gonna do so Surrender your ideas for a bit. Surrender your ideas, give up your perfect offering. This is something that Leonard Cohen sings about. There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in. You have to allow that. You have to allow your crack to happen my friend. Every now and then I’ll have a healing session with somebody where it gets very intense. this very thing is happening, that I’m not going to become super intense. The perfect offering this perfect idea, the perfect vision, the perfect, continuous, we’re continuing to fight for our vision. We’re continuing to fight for our story. You know what I’m saying? We keep Yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but you know, because it’s hard to let go. I mean, I go to Healing Sessions too. And that happens to me as well. So Sometimes I’m they’re saying we’ve got to accept what is we’ve got to accept what is and often what will happen is when somebody is so resistant to change they will start to attack the person who is trying to help them. Hi that’s me. You ever dog that is ever beat you I think about Winston the Wonder dog all the time. He would come to you. Winston was the best example. Let’s talk about the dog because I don’t want to get in trouble. And the dog can’t. The dog won’t mind. And that reminds me, I Winston. I love that boy, he’s been gone. a while now. But we I wrote a post called Ode to Winston the Wonder dog that deserves a mention because he is adorbs and that thing if you need a good cry, go read it. If you’re a dog lover or can’t let a pet lover you’re going to love it. I’ll put it in the show notes. He would come to like, he would have a burr stuck to his head and a bird stuck to his butt and it would be contorting his posture, these sweet gum tree, they’re not just Earth, they’re huge, like bigger than a walnut. He would come to you grappling and asking for help, but the whole time threatening to bite you, if you even so much as you know, move the wrong way. And sometimes people are like that who are literally paying me for help. And I am really working on that, you know, and I’m really I’m gonna pat myself Hey, pat myself on the back for that. I really want to hang in there sometimes with people because I want them to make it I want them to come to the other side. I want to help them get free and I also need do acknowledge, I can’t fix it for everyone. It’s not my job. It’s not my job. It isn’t. It’s not, but I’m doing better with recognizing that when push back happens. It’s not personal. I don’t have to take it personally. And the less personally I take it, the faster we’re going to move through it. It’s the same thing. Like, I’m gonna accept that this is they’re pissed at me right now. Because they don’t want to give up their perfect golfing. They don’t want to give up their version and their vision of what needs to happen. And so sometimes when people start to get upset with me, because I’m not holding the perfect vision with them, they can start to attack they can start to say things to me. Um You know,
It’s not quite, it’s not quite conscious. And so I forgive that I can, but sometimes I leave carrying it and then I have to do this work all over again, where you say, You know what? It’s alright. I accept in this moment. I accept it. I’m feeling kind of crummy about it. I’m feeling hurt. I accept. I’m angry. I accept. I would like to never speak to this person again. You know, in this moment, it’s all right. Could we please have our feelings and allow this movement to happen? I know for a fact I am helping the other person come to clarity without even being with them because energy we are energy beings. Were all connected. This is a vibrational universe so much more than the physical one. We think it is. And so, if we really want to come to a place of I don’t know, you know you again, see your own goals, please see your own examples, please call these things to mine. I think of so many of you I talked to who are like I want a simpler, easier life, okay, that’s your goal. You don’t need to figure out how you’re going to make that happen. What you have to do is accept that you want simpler and easier and allow yourself to move into that space, which means letting go. Right. A lot of us are very tight budget about how things need to be. Let’s let go a little more. I talked to somebody so beautiful the other day in the session, and he was saying why is it that I only allow myself to relax on the weekends, when I have lots of other time in the week to do relaxation, but I don’t let myself I make myself sit at the computer from nine to five, just like we did before COVID. And the truth is there’s not that much work anymore. And so we were talking about that. And same thing it got a little tricky because you know, it feels like what you’re telling me if I walk away from the computer, the fear is if I walk away from the computer, I’m not going to be okay. yet. The soul is craving a different experience. The body is craving something else and maybe there’s wisdom there. Maybe we need to follow that wisdom instead of holding up our perfect point. This is making sense. This world is a big, big place, there’s room for you exactly how you want to be. How you want to live, how you want to thrive. Give yourself the permission to live and dream, in an intentional way for you for your life, for your family, for your work, whatever’s going on for you give yourself permission to intentionally dream in ways that are positive because, you know, the only place the future exists is in your mind. The only place the past exists is in your mind now. So if you can’t, you know what I’m saying, I feel like I’m starting to repeat myself but it can’t be here now and acknowledge what it is. It’s a lot harder to have the freedom and the space. To recognize, I want to make a shift. I want over and over, I’m visualizing this thing, and I want to allow that to happen. So, you know, this is big, big stuff. I can almost hear some of you saying Yeah, but what do you do when you’re so freaked out? You’re so afraid. And it’s so big and you don’t you’re losing sleep and you don’t know what to do. You need to co conspire with spirit you need to cooperate with spirit you need to co habitate with spirit. It’s a process that involves coming out of your tight butted plan your ego mind, your fearful self and saying help me
and I think you should enunciate the P help. Me, you should just for kicks, help me because even there at least then you’re acknowledging, you’re open to you need help and you’re open to being helped. How amazing would that be? Sometimes I, I wish I could speed this process along for people, especially when they’re getting mad at me for not agreeing, you remember saying I would really like that. But we can also say we’re going to call brain with spirit. isn’t a fun, co operate cohabitate, co liberate. There’s a divine one in you that comes from the beyond. Probably chose the life you’re in before you were even born in this body. That’s what I’m talking about. I can’t help it if you don’t believe that, you know, like, there’s a one in you that is so wise and so connected. like yourself, if you’re in intense resistance and total freakout and you can’t see any way free at least Remember to say help me and never forget, I’m here, you know, offering sessions. I am there every day on morning magic for free. And you can come in every day I say if there’s anything I can help you with today, anything I can China like come. So you got to have some boldness, you know, to share there. But come, there’s help for you. There’s love for you. There’s assistance for you. So I hope this has been helpful today. You know, I really do and also I’m going to completely accept in this moment, it might not be right for everyone. And that’s fine too. That’s the beauty of this message today. It’s so relaxing. If I don’t have to worry about pleasing everyone what’s that song? It’s all right now I learned my lesson. Well, doo doo doo doo. So that’s the part I remember do they do? You see you can’t please everyone, so you got to please yourself. It’s such important advice. Ricky Nelson. I love it. I’m reading because I had to look it up to finish singing the lyrics you it’s hilarious, because it’s so onpoint to what we’re talking about today. And that’s always how my high sense perception works. The fancy word for your psychic knowings your intuition it’s always relevant And that to trust your hunches. Because at the bottom here, the line says, What the hell? I’ll just read you the whole thing. I went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends a chance to share old memories and play our songs again. When I got to the garden party, they all knew my name. No one recognized me. I didn’t look the same. But it’s all right now. I learned my lesson. Well, you see, you can’t please everyone. So you got to please yourself. People came from miles around. Everyone was there. Yoko brought her walrus there was magic in the air. And over in the corner, much to my surprise, Mr. Hughes, hidden Dylan shoes, wearing his disguise but it’s all Right now, I learned my lesson. Well, you see, you can’t please, everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself. I played them all the old songs, thought that’s why they came. No one heard the music. We didn’t look the same. I said hello to Mary Lou. She belongs to me. When I sang a song about a Honky Tonk, it was time to leave.
But it’s alright now. I learned my lesson. Well, you see, you can’t please everyone. So you’ve got to please yourself. Someone opened up a closet door and out step Johnny be good. playing guitar like a ringing the bell and looking like he should. If you’ve got to play at garden parties, I wish you a lot of luck. But if memories were all I saying? I’d rather drive a truck. It’s all right now. I learned my lesson. Well, you see, you can’t please everyone so you got to please yourself.
You know when I was in high school I took a class called the poetry of music with Mr. Lyon trainer, no joke, Percy High School, Arlington Heights Illinois. So I always love that and I’m going to put a link to an article in the show notes just in case anyone is interested like me. You know, what was the song about I think that just is pretty good. But there is a link there if you go to Robin comm slash 106. So hope you love this essay. I know I did. And it feels super true. So let’s leave it there.
Friends I feel like the inspiration section of our podcast is going to evolve. I’m not sure why or how or what. So I just I guess I just want to give myself permission on the air to say something might be changing here with this format. I care about you knowing that going along as well. I was thinking a bit about self care because what do you do on the days? When you’re not thinking about the other day? It actually was a bother for a few hours that somebody was kind of peeved with me. And we hung up and I knew, I knew you know how you know you know they’re mad at you and you know that. Also they that’s where they are some of you who have kids, so know this place. Don’t jump. Kids get mad at you. They feel like they can say whatever they want. You know, sometimes Things go down that way people say, say they’re mad at you and like, you’re not their parent, they’re paying you and it still feels like crap. And so I practice self care in those moments, and I practice permission to know how I feel. And one of the things that really has been helping me and this might not sound nice, but I feel like somebody needs to hear this today. And so I’m going to share it. You as the person offering stuff like I’m offering this podcast, I offer Healing Sessions. You offer what you offer, if you’re online offering your Instagram posts or your Facebook posts or you’re at school, offering things in the school classroom are here. You know what I’m saying? you’re offering think about what you do in a day. That means you have the right to consider whether or not you want to continue the relationship with whatever it is you’re doing. I’m thinking of friends who volunteer. And sometimes things get very heavy. There are friends I help, who are Facebook moderators. And when this pandemic began, and then the Black Lives Matter movement began and then in the states anyway, the politics stuff started going down. You know, that people were losing sleep over a volunteer position moderating a Facebook group, which I absolutely, there are many of us who understand you, if that’s your experience. We get it. Because we’re answering comments all the time for free. And people expect you know, they expect a certain level of service even though they’re not paying for anything. I so get it. Lots of us Understand with you if you can relate to this example. So here’s what I say, here’s the inspiration this week, you have a right to decide whether or not you want to continue. And you have a right to decide. You have a right to decide if you want to continue doing what you’re doing. If you want to continue working with that person, if you want to finish out your time with them and then discontinue, you have a right to decide. And I don’t think there’s enough support for us out there. You have a right to decide if you have a platform and you’re sharing things online, you have a right to decide if you want to keep doing that or not. If it stops being fun for you, whatever it is, just know that you have a right to decide. And I hope for anyone who needed to hear that you have a right to decide. I hope that helped you today. certainly helps me and you know, I love that reminder You’re way your life your way you have permission. Okay. That kind of rhymed. Yeah, so let’s have some more tea. Yes. Oh, but no let’s have some iced coffee. I have that. That here too. So good. It’s funny speaking of you have the right to decide. This week, Jeff and I that’s number one husband. We went out to we went out on a little errand together and record we go live into Tuesday morning. It’s so funny. I was I was there looking. I still don’t love being in the store. And I I know I probably don’t sound very courageous or bold, but
it is what it is. For some reason. It’s just uncomfortable for And I am accepting them. And it’s okay. Like, I don’t need to figure it all out. What I need to do is be with myself and how I feel, you know, but we were there in our masks, looking at things. I was looking for any nbf seas and umbrellas because there’s this huge mountain being built next door and privacy will be something I enjoy in the summer months again next year. So I was thinking umbrellas would be so nice to open and have privacy. So Tuesday morning. Anyway, long story short, I’m in the store. And did you find what you were looking for? No, but I got some new glasses. They are so cute. And they’re only they were $4 for a pack of four. And I we came home and I washed them and Jeff said oh my goodness. Now we have to get rid of some glasses because our cabinet is small and you know how many glasses do two people need? And it was so funny because that practice right there came into play, it’s your life and you get to do what you want. But the guilties the guilty feeling starting to come because we receive some really fancy expensive classes that for our wedding gift, when we got married, we didn’t register or anything like that. It’s not really our style. And besides, it was a second. Okay, I’m not going to say all of this, I hope on the podcast Robin, you know, but we got some really fancy Waterford Crystal glasses, and when I use them, I they’re pretty but I don’t really like them. And it’s so funny. So Jeff said, Okay, we got to make room and I was like, I know the glasses. Let’s turn them into candle holders. So here on my altar, I’ve got the old Waterford Crystal with a floating candle in it, and it is perfect and so much more to my liking. What can I say? It’s Robbie savvy for the win. And then I’ve got my little $1 drink glass here. So, cheers. Maybe somebody else wanted to hear that story. You know, sometimes you just gotta go with what you’re feeling and trust in that as well. So today’s letter, I have a letter today is in response to a letter I wrote to the love posse end of July called True Blue to you. And it was a letter about loyalty, the false bonds of loyalty we have where we take care of everybody else instead of ourselves where We carry and worry about things that we really shouldn’t. And I felt like since I’ve been talking about this this whole episode, I would take one of the I actually got several sometimes I get like 12 responses to one letter and I love that because it really helps me know it matters to you. It’s an important topic. Not just to me, I write these letters. I sit down and ask spirit. Sometimes they’re topical. Sometimes it’s stuff I’m going through and every week, it’s something fresh. I never really planned them out. This would drive me bonkers to have a content calendar. I can’t do it. So I just sit down just like the podcast. You know, sometimes you just see who you are and you have to accept it. This is how it is. You know, so and you’re welcome to join the love posse. If you don’t already get my letters on Wednesdays. put a link in the show notes or you just go to Robin Hallett comm slash subscribe. So yeah, this letter this letter I wrote it felt really important because I think a lot of us are going through this thing where loyalty What does loyalty mean to you and where is it costing you? Where you’re offering your loyalty in places where it doesn’t feel right. You know, and I was just talking to you about that in the inspiration like sometimes you realize the way you’re serving your community or like me with clients, sometimes it’s not okay. And I need to re address reassess how I look at loyalty. So let me redo this letter.
This goes back to you Debbie. Dear. Robin, what a blessing you are, to me a gentle, much needed reminder of who I am. I’m working on so many things, and one is your topic in this email. I’m so worried about others, their needs, their feelings that I myself get lost. I often have to listen to replace on morning magic because I’m unable to be there live. But today I caught a piece of the one where you mentioned narcissism in relationship. Just another confirmation on why I was lied to you on the week I left my narcissistic alcoholic husband of 38 years, who I love so much. But also learning is that truly love feelings. We’ve had no contact since March 1, and the pandemic hit one week later. So I moved in with my mother Sister, and there are so many new changes and things coming up for healing. But you, my friend, are a big part of my journey. And I say thank you, and I love you and who you are, Debbie.
Wow. You know, first of all I am standing with you right now looking you idi. Debbie and anyone else this relates for
well done. Sometimes the hardest thing is to leave to actually leave and there are friends I help in session friends I’ve walked with for a long time who have still not left and there is no judgment on that I tell you what your journey is your own and it takes as long as it takes.
It takes as long as it takes. So I do want to say that but also congratulations. And wow, you did it. You did it every single day for the rest of your life. If you look in the mirror at least once and you say you did it, it would really be so helpful. Um, you are so spot on. When you say my narcissistic alcoholic husband of 38 years who I love so much, but also learning is that truly love feelings. I have been doing so much work in my own journey about trauma bonds, the bonds of trauma. I really love them. Work of Gabor matej. If you want to look him up, I’ll put something in the show notes around addiction and trauma and connection and also the work of melody Beatty, who’s been around a long time, one of our founding members of the codependent narcissistic alcoholic awakening movement, others say it is so hard. I know a lot of us are raising our hands and nodding along right now with this conversation because it is so hard. And it’s so hard because we grew up in an energy and 38 years of marriage is certainly growing up. But also before that there may have been some energy where this is a constant. This is a norm. This is an experience. We’re used to And uncomfortably comfortable with so it feels like home.
I have to slow myself down here. And I just feel Gabi all down the front of my shirt. Sometimes I’m saying things to you and it’s just you know, it’s an answer to my own prayer to. So you may find yourself with people where you’re breaking up, where you’re leaving, where you’re, you’re knowing this is not healthy for me this is not healthy for me this friendship I’m in this connection with my kids or this connection with my parents or my spouse or whatever it is my boss, a lot of you end up with these connections again at work. It’s not right for me, and I need to To go. This is when you got to hold on to your heart and start some mirror work. I talk about this a lot at morning magic. I talk about it a lot here. You have to look into your own eyes and help yourself wake up. Keep telling yourself what you need to hear. What do you need to hear Debbie, and anyone else this is connecting for? What do we need to hear? You know the perfect words. Say them to yourself, please, you need to do it because there will always be you know, I think of Mary Oliver’s poem, The journey. You knew what you had to do. It was already late enough. And you have to leave though the melancholy voices shouted their bad advice meant my life each voice cried meant my life. You know, stay, don’t go. There are people in your life who are like, oh really that bothers you? You know, they,
question you in a way that makes you feel like what you’re doing is wrong. But you must have solidarity with your own heart. Now. Look into your own eyes now. Connect with yourself. Now. Listen to me. It’s your own voice. I’m just a channel for what’s really alive in you, the divine in you. So, you know, there are so many new challenges and things coming up for your healing. And it’s okay to be confused about things. It’s okay to miss somebody every single day for the rest of your life. Debbie, it’s okay. And distill No, it’s not right for us to be together. You can miss them every single day. me you know right now I feel super blessed to be with number one husband now I don’t mean just like right now in this moment because I’m going on and I’m going through this in friendships though. sorting out the hairy
the hairy, ugly truth about some of the relationships I’ve been in some of the ways I’ve granted friends access to my heart who
just it’s not right
and it is tricky. It is
it is tricky. It is It’s confusing, it’s swirling because you know there’s a swirling sensation because they feel like home even in my memory, they still feel like home. But my you know, I never want to come here and say bad things about people. So just know that I’ve really been working on that. I’m seeing the light in everyone. It’s really been a very long journey. And I want I believe so much that we still help free the people even once they’ve passed on. We help them on the other side as we sometimes call it. I want to free my mother I want to free my father I do and I know I’m doing that work and I grew up I can remember being pinched in my crib. You know what I’m saying? I can run being made fun of I can remember being tickled and not, you know, not being able to do anything about it and it wasn’t funny. And it wasn’t fun. And so some of those friends that I’m talking about who feel like home are the ones who do those things. In one way or another, it might not be if you’re, if you’re following along with me and you want to help yourself, it won’t be the exact same thing. It’ll feel though, like, you’re there all over again. It’ll feel like you’re fighting so hard to be okay. Even though you know you’re not you’re just in there trying to save face. You’re in there trying to show your best smile anyway to let people think they didn’t get to you. I tell you what, those kinds of fights are not worth winning. We are too precious. We are too beautiful. We are too sacred. And so, you know, Debbie, I’m right in the middle of something where I know there are people hanging on the other end, wondering where the hell I went, What happened? Why did I go? And they’re trying to talk me back in all the language, they know how their love language is not exactly loving. So they’re trying to convince me and like I say, then you have people in your circle who are also like, what was the problem you should call? They need your help, you should call them you know. So you got to look yourself in your own eyes and love yourself and hug yourself and you moved in with Your mom and your sister and I hope that is a beautiful space.
there is more always more for healing, but there’s always more light and beauty we can receive as well. Always more moments of love and joy as well. And you know what I know of you in the time I’ve spent with you in our connection. You’re a resilient soul. And this is part of what you signed up to experienced so that you could help free the world. And so, you know, like the song I was reading a little while ago. May you learn your lesson? Well, may it not be a punishment to you, but a blessing and keep walking on this journey. Keep holding my hand. I mean, we’re flying wing two way My friend, and you and me and so many others in this posse. We’re hanging in there together. This is the place where we get it. And there is the love that feels. So thank you so much for writing in and thanks for sharing this.
And, you know
if nobody has said it to you today, I’m proud of you. Let me be the first I am so proud of you. Well done.
And thank you for you know, like I always say when I when you write me back, and then I asked you for permission to read it on the podcast. You didn’t write knowing that was coming and I appreciate you so much being willing. Thank you. So friends if you’d like me to read a letter My address my email is Hello at Robin Hallett calm or message me on Instagram or Facebook.
always happy to help and along the lines of happy to help. I have an interesting, exciting new thing I wanted to share with you and I waited to the end because those of you who listen faithfully, you know every single week all the way through sometimes more than once I wanted to share this for you. I am looking for a few friends who would like to come on the podcast with me. I’m looking for new friends who want to come on the bad cats with me and do some healing together. You are somebody Who is going through something you are open and willing to have a dialogue out in the open about what’s going on, and to discuss what’s happening for you, and to receive some love.
one, it’s my way to keep offering the love that heals to it’s my you know, I’m looking for ways to offer more light for free in this time, and three, I love shaking things up. And this is the answer that came through from spirit very clearly is to start occasionally having people on to talk about healing. And to be clear, they’re coming to receive, you’re not here to teach or sell your soap. You know, we got enough of that going on. And that’s what you’re platforms for this is about healing. So if you’re listening and you want to do it, send me a note. Okay. All right. Well, friends, that wraps I hope, what is an amazing session? I gotta say, I am really loving myself these days proud of myself these days. I feel like you all helped me so much. It’s this love is real. And those of us who let it in who received it, who ride in it, we know it. It’s amazing. The changes. Whoa, baby. Well, so yeah, over here. It’s Sunday now. And it’s so funny because I know at the top of this hour, I said, number one husband left on the fishing trip, you know, and now it’s Sunday and he’s coming home in about two hours he’ll be home. So it’s so cool. I’m gonna I’m gonna really relish those next few hours and look forward to seeing him again. And whatever wind up doing something special, probably. It’s gonna be great. So I hope you have a wonderful day whatever day it is while you’re listening and you know that you’ll come back and see me next week or in a few minutes. It’s been me Robin Hart sparkler, awesome sauce. Take good care of you, Helen. And I’ll see you next time. Bye bye.