Tea with Robin

Love You The Most // Tea with Robin Episode 133

If you have ever struggled with unkind thoughts about yourself or the way you do life, this one’s for you. Lots of us were told that we were not okay in some way – and we don’t see how we are still carrying these thoughts about ourselves as if they’re the truth.

In this episode:

I am sharing about a new practice of loving yourself the most. Learning how to be your own best friend. To be your champion, and have your own back. It’s possible to wake ourselves up right inside the upsetting thoughts and help know YOU anew. Make it a practice to love yourself the most and this will get easier by the day.

This week’s inspiration: Self-care practice to help ease the pressure of this time.

This week’s featured letter: From a friend who wonders how to carve out some “me time” and also, who to turn to when there’s no one to talk to.

All this and more! Come grab a cuppa yum yum and meet me here:

Listen to this episode here or read the transcript (with timestamps) below.

🎧 Listen to Episode 133: Love You The Most

 

 

Complete transcript with timestamps here

Click here to jump to the links mentioned in this episode.

This episode is also available wherever you enjoy podcasts or downloadable here:

https://robinhallett.libsyn.com/episode-133-love-you-the-most


If this episode has been helpful, I’d appreciate you sharing this with anyone it may help. Click the share buttons above or below, or always I appreciate a review on iTunes

Submit a letter to be read on a future episode here.

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Tea with Robin Podcast Show References

 

⭐A Course in Miracles Quotes:  

The responsibility for sight, chapter 21

No neutral thoughts – workbook lessons 1-10

You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.

⭐Related links for this episode:

Neville Goddard

You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay

Alan Watts

The Complete Works of Florence Scovel Shinn: The Game of Life and How to Play It; Your Word Is Your Wand; The Secret Door to Success; and The Power of the Spoken Word.

Esther Hicks, Abraham Hicks

Go where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated

A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume

Every Book I have recommended on the podcast here

You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.

 

⭐Movies mentioned in this episode:

Agatha Christie

 

Thank you for listening, may it serve you!

Hugs and love,

To support the podcast, consider making a donation here.

Subscribe to Tea with Robin on iTunesGoogle PlayStitcher, or Spotify.
Click here to get email notifications as soon as a new episode goes live.

Help out the show: Leave a review on iTunes

Write a letter to the show here


Tea with Robin Episode Unedited Transcript

0:02
Hello Beloved, it’s me, Robin. Robin Hallett, intuitive healer and Light Sparkler at Robin hallett.com, and this is Tea with Robin.

On today’s episode, nobody may have told you that the way we were taught to growing up the way we were treated, is very much the way we continue to talk to ourselves today. What if we were to set a new standard, to love you the most to be your own best friend, have your own back and work on the mental stories, you continue to churn about you. Our inspiration, some self-care rituals for you, it is needed and necessary, especially now, and we’ll have a letter from a friend who wonders, who do you turn to, who do you talk to in times like these when it seems like nobody’s here for you. Well this is going to be an excellent episode, I suggest you come grab a cup of yum yum and meet me here.

Well Hello gorgeous friend, It’s me, Robin, welcome back to the podcast Tea with Robin. This is episode 133 133 And if it’s your first time here. Hello. It’s lovely to meet you. This is a podcast about healing, down-to-earth healing love, and kindness for our own hearts. Friends returning. How are you, have you been since we last spoke, I hope that you have been kind and gentle with your own heart, that you’ve been practicing, remembering what makes you come alive and doing those things for yourself. Yeah. Big tearing in the world now, I tell you every week, because this is one of those times where, when have we been here before, you know, it’s such a big time. And the psychic weight of everything we’re all going through is there, it’s definitely there. Yeah, so I hope that you have been being very gentle with yourself and focusing on what makes you come alive. Over here. It’s a beautiful day. It’s a Friday, I’ve just finished a day of healing sessions which I always love, I tell you. It’s so awesome to sit with friends on the journey and bring the light in areas that you know it’s not always easy to talk about what’s bothering you are, what you’d like support with or even to share your wins to have somebody in your camp who can celebrate you, learning how to receive that. It’s a big, big, I always love being that for you. It’s just a wonderful thing to do.

3:00
I’m doing wonderfully well, I’m enjoying this spring eat springtime. We’re not quite there, I’m definitely feeling myself push the river in terms of spring. I mean, April in Chicago, it’s not exactly. Time to put your plants outside, you know, to plant seeds in the ground but we’re getting closer. I did mow the lawn for the first time. Last week it was very fun getting out there again. Yeah, and I’m looking forward to watching a beautiful redbud tree blossom this year, some years that comes and it’s so fast. We don’t really get to see it happen, and then the weather comes and all the blooms are down, but this year it looks like we’re set up for a super gorgeous crunch berry spring. Captain Crunch cereal, The little red buds always remind me of the crunch berries. So, since we last spoke, there’s been a lot more going on in the news, and it’s easy to lose perspective and make it personal. In a way to take that heaviness and feel like things don’t have a lot of meaning, but this is what I want to talk to you about today. How are we talking to ourselves, the self-talk and the self-talk about this time, and the self-talk about us. So before I get too far into my jibber-jabber here today. I say we have a little cheer saying, I brought some. My favorite Earl Grey tea to Tazo Earl Grey. I’ve got a little sea salt, no stevia today. I have been, I don’t know why I’m not like trying to go without sugar or sweet or anything but I have been really enjoying it, without. I hope you brought something yummy as well. Cheers to us. Cheers to being alive. Cheers to being on the journey. Cheers to showing up and choosing to be somebody with an awakened heart, that’s us. Yeah, too. So good. So today, how we talk to ourselves, is everything. You may not think about this but all day long, your head is going. Your head is chattering. Your head is talking your head, your mind is, you know, thinking you might say thinking thoughts but also it’s talking to you it’s narrating it’s pontificating it’s imagining it’s forecasting, it’s remembering old stuff. It’s always going, and if we’re not paying attention, it can really be narrating some seriously dark stuff about us, about our lives, about how things did or did not turn out the way we wanted, and lots of regret stuff. Anxiety stuff. Scary stuff. So I wanted to talk about that today, how do we talk to ourselves, how do we talk to ourselves, And are we paying attention to the way we talk, are we listening to the mind. Are we doing anything to help the chatter be better. It’s funny sometimes the way the head just gets going. It just gets going, and it starts telling its little tales. It is sometimes looking for something to be upset about. It’s looking for things to talk to you about. I noticed this. Sometimes I when I wake up in the silence. You know, how you wake up and the room is quiet, I mean, and you might hear the Bertie’s or something outside or some traffic or whatever or the house you live in is waking up. Then suddenly your mind just starts up like an orchestra in the pit, getting ready to play their first song, all the tuning up. You can hear it. Begin. And if we’re not careful, the mind starts to attach meaning to things that we’ve already had groups, you know, We’ve been making groups, about our lives about our success, about our age about our body about this pandemic, about

8:00
the conflict, you know, that we have going on with that person. It starts to remind you of things people said to you, it gets going. And it’s normal, it’s natural, that’s what the mind does it chatters, it talks so that your head is doing that is, I guess we could say it’s all right it’s not a big deal it’s just its function. But where it gets tricky is when we hear the thoughts.

8:50
And we pay attention. We run with what is being said. We take it in. And we navigate by those thoughts for that, that period of time that morning or that whole day or that whole week or that whole year, you know, we allow it to inform our experience. And then we look out into our lives and, basically, like, yep, yep, it’s true everywhere I look it’s true. Everywhere I look, this is what’s happening. So today I wanted to just have a, You know, I just, I want us to decide as a circle as a collective that we’re going to work on these things that happen. I have it happen, you have it happen that a story gets spinning because the mind is just jibber-jabbering, it’s just going along. Here’s the big biggie. The way you allow that thought to go, and then you continue the discussion. And now that means, this is the way you talk to yourself. And my friend we can be responsible for the way we talk to ourselves, we can be awake to how we talk to ourselves, we can change the way we talk to ourselves in awakening. We hear this often, There’s the eye. And then there’s the, the mind, you know, there’s the me, and I, I don’t know how you want to put that into words. It’s not just one person in there, there are two awarenesses going on at the same time, and I am a me, and a spiritual awake one maybe you want to think of it as the awakened one, the one in charge, and then there’s that mind, that’s just generating thought after thought after thought. So how we talk to ourselves. We’re responsible for that, and I would love us, as a circle to decide to be our own best friend, you know, to have our backs to catch some of those thoughts that are going. Let’s say you have a thought like, you’re getting old, and, you know, your life is, is not meaningful. You haven’t done enough, or you’re running out of time, and your project is due and you’re going to be in trouble, or, you know, you know, I could give examples forever in a day and not hit the one that is specific for you so I’d love you to think about that now. Your mind gets going, And what we glom on to and continue chattering, that’s up to us. Yeah, so I’d like us to be our own best friends I’d like us to decide. And, you know I have this thing I talked to you about where you get up in the morning your mind starts going. You come to the side of the bed and you hug yourself. This is because you’re your own best friend. You have yourself and you say hello, Robin. Hello, you know, friend. Hello, sweetie. Hi beautiful Good morning, this is a new day. This is a beautiful day, and we’re gonna have so much fun today or we’re gonna have, we’re gonna do beautiful things today or you know whatever it is for you, that you decide, right there. You set the tone, you set the mood. And no matter what comes, you know, sometimes things come because you’re doing important things that day or you’re doing big things, I don’t know important and big, you know, like, on a day I might be feeling nervous about something I have to do later. Let’s say there’s a new client, I’m going to meet for the first time, always get the jitters still doesn’t matter how many now two decades of feeling work. It’s natural. It’s natural to have the jitters when meaning somebody new, so you might, I might be thinking about that and I just say hello. It’s a beautiful day, and isn’t it gonna be fun. This is how it feels

13:46
when you’re meeting somebody for the first time, you know, you get to decide how you want to spin these things and that’s the thing we’re always spinning these things, you’re spinning, whatever it is that’s going on for you right now, you’re spinning that you’re calling it reality, you’re calling it truth. However, you get to decide which way that goes for you, and if this appeals to you, you know I can recommend some teachers. Some friends besides me in this podcast who talk about this. Alan Watts. Neville Goddard. Florence Scovel Shinn, these are people, I’ll link all of this in the show notes. These are people who have been teaching this forever and are none of them are with us anymore, they were so early in their teachings. So this mindfulness I’m talking about. It’s up to you. It’s up to you it’s on you. And I don’t say that lightly as somebody myself who has walked through anxiety and depression. My own stories that I really worked on for years about feeling like a loser. You know, it’s hard one to come out on the other side and feel free and know that the mind is generating those stories, so I don’t say it lightly. It’s big, big work, and there’s a whole industry built on us feeling this way, the pharma industry loves to talk to us about this doesn’t it. I think I read a study, not too long ago that 80% of the entire world’s anti-depressants, goes to the United States. I mean, and I haven’t researched it further, you know, but I’m not saying it’s our fault. If we don’t feel well. Exactly, it gets tricky, you know, but I don’t like that, that energy of blaming us for how we’re feeling, but I do like knowing we’re empowered, and even though it’s a sad day or an anxious day or a worried day, we can be our own best friends, and we can talk ourselves, we can love ourselves.

16:30
Yeah, isn’t that good. Already I’m given this episode five stars. What about you. One of the things that I, I can’t say enough how we grew up being talked to, how we were treated. Growing up, how we were handled by the adults in our lives. It’s a big, big, big, in terms of how we talk to ourselves today, the story we carry still. And frankly, in my line of work, you could say it’s pretty rare that someone’s like, Oh my God. No, I was the apple of my parents I the room lit up when I walked in I could tell they were so welcoming and loving and they loved me. You know that’s not my world, that’s also not my personal experience, and most of the friends I sit with that wasn’t your experience. So you want to ask yourself, you know, if you’re interested in what I’m talking about today, you want to ask yourself, how was I spoken to, what was the significant treatment. For me, what was it, what were the the main messages. I grew up feeling like, Was I a disappointment. Was I a burden. Was I a boy listen to that beautiful card No Can you hear it. Gorgeous, you know, was I a challenging burden. And that just to be clear, I’m not saying we were these things I’m saying this is how the impression we were given about ourselves. This is the assumption we made based on the way we were being treated. I definitely grew up feeling like I was difficult. I was a lot of work and not special, you know like, not, not a favorite. not a favorite, and definitely not cool, though today, there’s no question of my coolness and my right. Or yours for that matter. It’s so interesting how even though that was my experience, I didn’t believe that about myself 100% I had awareness, that somehow led me to know, this was the problem with my parents. This irritation or annoyance or, you know this energy it resided in them like I knew that even then, it doesn’t mean you know, I had the inner ability to do away with the judgment and the meanness and not take it personally not make it about myself, but I do, I do remember having the knowing. And I also know that not everybody treated me that way, you know. And it’s interesting that because I had a teacher early on when I was studying early childhood development. Who said you really only need one person, where you felt like the room lit up when you entered. You know, you knew you matter to them and I did have that I had that my grandmother was that for me my German grandmother was that for me. And so I definitely, and you might be thinking about this for your own life. There was some contrast there between what my parents were doing, and my extended family was doing and my teachers were doing, because that was kind of a experience I had, where it was like, you’re not. You’re a pain in the butt, or you’re not welcome, or we don’t want to hang out with you or there’s something you know where you personalize that energy. But there’s one person in your life who makes you feel like they love you, and they want to hang out with you and you’re not challenging or difficult. Now you have some contrast, and now you can challenge some of the stories you still carry today, and you still talk to yourself today. So you might be thinking about how do you talk to yourself. And how was that similar

21:27
to the way you talked, you work, talk to the hub, the way you retreated. And what did if you had one person, maybe a high school teacher, or somebody you know somebody, a friend’s parent who treated you well it doesn’t even have to be ongoing, it could have been this one significant period in your life. What was the message they gave you about yourself, what was it that they showed you about you. This is very important because we grew up with these perspectives in our head about us and about life and about how we needed to be, and how we would be accepted, think about social norms, and how you worry about, or, or once worried about the opinion of other people about fitting in, about belonging and how you were treated, and what that made you think about yourself. I really really today I’m really asking you, I’m encouraging you to consider some of these things because the roots are deep. If you have struggles with your thinking, if they’re suffering today, if you feel, you know, incapable or unable or it’s too late or whatever it is they you hang with energetically speaking, If you feel depressed if you feel heavy. The way through it, is to be your best friend, to love yourself to speak sweetly, to not deny how it feels to be you. To not deny what was once told to you, to not deny you know what’s going on in the world, but to work with it, and to dialogue with it, and to choose. I get a little shouty. There are so many times where I’m listening to friends or even Jeff and I, we hang out together, that’s number one husband. We hang out together at night and we talk about the day and we talk about things that happen, and, you know, this is kind of our lingo that we talk about repetitive, upset, and practices, you know, we want to practice working with, and it’s amazing how for each of us we have certain, certain areas that are just super repetitive, so I tell you that because it’s very natural to have repetitive upsets and it may never have occurred to some of us that we can wake ourselves up, that we can wake ourselves up, right there, we could say, inside the mind while the mind is going on and on, on its usual thing you know, lalalalala. I never do this and it never happens that and this person. Did you know how your mind goes that you can just say hey, put the finger out, I tell you, hey, is this really what I want, playing right now. Seriously, how fast if you ever watch TV or try a program on Netflix, somebody has recommended. How fast do you switch it off when you decide you don’t like it fast, sometimes you’re just reading through descriptions and you can’t get into it because you already don’t like it, but the mind, because it’s yours. Because it’s in your head. It’s just like real, but it’s not real. It’s just a thought you’re thinking, and as Louise Hay would say, and thoughts can be changed. Abraham Hicks says beliefs are just a string of thoughts you continue to think. And the thought can be changed a belief can change. We get to decide. So today, this is my encouragement. Nobody may have told you, you can change your mind but I’m telling you today. Nobody may have told you that you are worthy of being your own best friend. But I am telling you today.

26:16
Nobody may have told you that how we grew up being talked to is very likely the same way we continue to talk to ourselves, we’re still hearing the voice. Did I say talk, we can talk to ourselves. But, you know, we’re still hearing the voice, I still hear the voice of my mother. Yeah, impatient, Kurt, irritated, but that was her stuff. That was her. That was her. And even if you’re listening to me right now and you’re like I Well I’ve been that way with my kid. So have I. We get to decide, again we get to decide what it all means we get to decide the way we think, we get to decide. And frankly, if there was ever a time for you to decide. It’s now, This is a whole new world. This has been a year and more now of extraordinary. Holy crap, I don’t even know how to say it, you know, like extraordinary shift terror change upheaval, awakening, alive, miss. Joy, I mean everything all in one. It’s, it’s been that. And if there was ever a time for you to decide. This is a new world, a brave new world, and you are going to be that for yourself, you’re going to be your own best friend, you’re going to show up, you’re going to love yourself the most. Love yourself the most. And when you have these thoughts when you step out of the shower and you look at your belly. When you look out at the yard and you have your judgments about what you didn’t do. When you’re feeling behind. When you didn’t earn enough money when you did the thing and it didn’t go the way you thought you get to tell a story. That is the one you want to tell.

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When you have the thought when you remember your father saying to you, something like you didn’t measure up. You get to answer it back. You know, no dad, that’s your deal, And I’m returning that to you. I returned that to you. Here you go. You can have that back. It takes courage. You have to be brave, and you have to stay awake, and I think you’re doing that, I think you can do that. I think it’s possible. And I’m always here to help you in a session. Anytime. Anytime my friend. It’s a beautiful thing. So cheers, cheers to us. Cheers to being our own best friends cheers to loving ourselves something fierce. And just like that cue of the lawn mowers. Boy, I have not had to get used to sitting here in my office with the sound of the lawn mowers going again. I myself just mowed the lawn, as I said, for the first time last week, the leaf blowers the lawn mowers. I’m just gonna have to get used to back casting with that going on all over again. Anywho, let’s move on to inspiration, I, I was thinking for today’s inspiration. It’s been a while since I’ve talked to you about a self care ritual. And, you know, at the risk of sounding like a broken record. This is a heavier time. It’s been a year. And there is something about extra love and care needed now more than ever. So, self care, rituals, you know, it’s never frivolous, it’s never silly, it’s never an extravagance, when you think about your self, and taking good care of yourself. This will be something that will help you a lot right now, to take a little extra time for you. And I’m thinking of how we know this in terms of what helps post traumatic stress, people who have been through situations we call post traumatic stress. People who have been through trauma strain trauma. Shock Trauma, we’ve all been under such an experience. Please think about self care, and consider incorporating something into your experience. I think you know best what it is that you’re meeting right now, it might be a bath. An Epsom salt soak which I always love that’s my go to. Depending on how big your tub is you can use, you know, a couple pounds or 10 pounds of Epsom salts, it sounds like a lot but it just again depends on how big or small your tap is some essential oils and get in there and have yourself a good soak. Have yourself a good soak it could be, but self care could also be doing your laundry, So you’re not wearing the same clothes over and over and over. It could be taken that taken that walk moving your body, it could be cooking yourself some beautiful food. Every week I bake bread. This week I’m making, bone broth, I made us a delicious cherry cobbler. And, you know, it’s just, it’s something loving and sweet. For us to have. But I think the biggest point I wanted to make today is that when there have been hard things that we’ve all been going through. We just don’t perform at peak levels without care, and your sleep hygiene, your you know your rest your

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body care. I guess we could call it body care. All of this stuff matters, you matter, so I’m not just talking about like, give yourself a manicure this week. I mean, treat yourself like someone important who has needs. And I often think about, I don’t know why this memory comes to me but I’m going to share it because it does. One time we had, we have this doc, his name was Rocky. His full name was rocky be Balboa. I don’t know who named him that, but, um, he was a nervous, little dog he was a pappy on so Chihuahua, and the King Charles Spaniel mix, and he was a nervous little dog. And I’ll never forget this one day we were out for a walk and often it would happen that I would have, I would have to pick him up and carry him for a little bit at the time and I stepped off the curb with him in my arms and I think I like went down on the side of my foot, twisted my ankle a little bit, and he fell. He fell out of my arms and he fell onto the pavement, and he cried, he was okay but he got really, really scared he wasn’t limping or anything that whole rest of the day, he was shaking. I could see him laying on his blanket and his body would just start shaking again. We sometimes forget that we too have been through things that require a certain amount of soothing. And when we don’t allow the soothing, because our mind decides again we tell ourselves a story like, oh, I have it’s so easy. What do I have to be stressed about Do you ever do that or I’m too busy at work I don’t want to drop any of these commitments I’ve made I don’t have time to do anything, you know, we tell a story that we don’t somehow, somehow, it’s like we don’t matter, our needs don’t matter. But they do. So that’s my encouragement to you this week, self care, time for you, and it matters it matters, you matter. And like, this episode is called love yourself, love you the most, you need to do it, nobody is going to do it for you, you need to make the space, and take the time for you. Yes. Once again, five stars. Cheers. Okay friends, this is the part in the show where I like to ask you to support this podcast. Do something to share this episode, tell a friend, if you’re on social media, perhaps make a post, share this episode on or another one you loved, and always I welcome a review, it’s pretty easy to leave a review on the app you’re listening on it all helps this light, get out there and I love to ask you because I’m a firm believer in baldly showing up to receive. And I believe in this love so much. Our light, our circle, the healing of this, and I know so many people need this kind of support right now, so I thank you in any which way you feel called to support this podcast. Thank you. Well, I’ve got a beautiful letter to read to you today, and friends. I know I said often, I’d be honored to read your letter. If you are looking for some love some support some advice, encouragement, and intuitive hit, please write to me at hello at Robin hallett.com, or message me on Insta Facebook, you know, the usual social media places, today’s letter is a goodie, it’s one I certainly can relate to as well. I wonder if you will.

38:04
Hi Robin. First of all, I want to thank you for putting out your podcast every week I so look forward to each episode, the relaxed conversational way you have is so soothing your message so reassuring and accepting. I usually try to make a special cup of tea and meet you here, but it’s not always easy to carve out the me time with job and kids and husband all demanding my attention. I know it’s me, letting them have me, the burden of should the demands of convention, the restrictions put on me by my parents and upbringing, just typing it is making me sad, and a little mad. I wish I had friends, or someone I could talk to about all of this, but I don’t, I don’t know any like minded friends or family. They’re all so busy with their own crazy, I can see it in their eyes when I try and talk to them, the confusion, the surprise, the judgment like I’m not. They’re also tied up in their own crazy how can they make quality time for me. You’re the only one I know that good see me. Why is it so hard to make connections with others on the path. I feel so alone. Does this happen to others in the love posse signed desperate. Thank you so much for this letter, I really appreciate such a beautiful letter. I really, really get it. And I got to say for a long time, this was exactly. Me, too. There’s something about the awareness of how your friends aren’t there for you and everybody’s busy with their own lives and everybody’s busy with their own kids and all of that that really struck me after a while was like everyone around me has, you know, like small kids and they’re unable to take the time to really connect with me and hang out with me and listen to me and you know I would notice these things like they always drop the ball. When they say they’re going to call or we’re going to get together or make a date or when we get together, they just wouldn’t be interested, you know, in talking or listening about the real deal. Through my own studies and awakening, I realized that I was the common denominator in all of the stuff. Now I’m not saying that’s you, my friend. I’m saying that was me. And we have to, you know, we each have to come to this in our own time, but I know for me I really noticed that I was creating this pattern. And it’s, it just takes time. You have to stick with it and it takes time to show up in your life and say to yourself, you know, I would rather be alone than lonely, with a friend, you know, I’d rather be on my own, than have an hour long conversation where the person never asks me about me, and doesn’t follow through, doesn’t remember anything about me. Once you start to recognize that that’s happening. I feel like we owe it to our own hearts, to, you know, like I keep saying today be your best friend love yourself the most, and don’t do it. Just don’t do it. You know, you may feel like you have a lot of years invested with certain people, but if they’re not good to you if they’re not good for you if they’re not able if they don’t have the bandwidth. If they keep showing you over and over, take them in, You know, believe it and believe in yourself that you have the possibility the miracles are here for you to that you can make and meet, you know, meet and make new friends. It’s so important. And I really understand that it’s not always easy to carve out the meantime, like you said, there is so much to do, isn’t it, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate, and

42:53
I guess the thing I want to tell you is the awareness that there is no me time, generates so much distress, you know, just think about that when I place my focus on how there’s no me time. I am in distress, and my distress is a generator of more distress. It creates more so I wonder what you can do to kind of reorganize some of your thinking and reorganize some of your energy around this stuff, you know, I tell you a secret to, I don’t always want to either. I don’t want to always give my attention to my family and my husband and my cooking, and my cleaning. I don’t do a lot of cleaning but I get frustrated sometimes and I catch those thoughts and tell myself, what do you, you know what’s going on here I talk to myself and sometimes I take a little me time, the first thing in the morning before anything gets going. In my day because I know it’s the only hope there. You know, so I make time for myself and a lot of times, honestly, it’s just making something delicious to eat. I leave my phone in the kitchen I leave my phone somewhere else and I go watch a TV show I really love or watch one of the teachers I love on YouTube like Mooji, and I just take time. For me, I might take a longer shower or something just take time for me, and I try and enjoy it. You know I really try and let myself enjoy it because the demands of the day are real, you know we all have work we have to do and there are people who need us and we got to squeeze ourselves in we got to love ourselves the most, and it’s so important. So, you know I’m encouraging you to make that space for you, Prompto you matter. And, you know, the stuff with our parents and our upbringing. It’s no joke. I mean it’s real, it definitely impacted us, it affected us it changed us it altered us the way we think today as I’ve been saying. It’s largely due to the wiring. The way we grew up the stories we carried for a lot of us, me included, you know, it just felt like I had to change who I was in order to fit in in order to make my parents happy or like me or have things be smooth so there’s this almost daily conflict, you find in yourself. If I choose to be myself, nobody will love me, nobody will like me, people will reject me, they’ll make fun of me. And so, you know, sometimes we might not see how we walk into places with that story intact work expecting rejection. We’re expecting to be judged to be treated like we’re not to be, you know, treated like we don’t matter. So, I, I’m going to link up an article I wrote a while back called go where you’re celebrated, not where you’re tolerated, and it might take us a while to realize that we keep going, where we’re tolerated because we’re used to being tolerated we’re used to that kind of drama. That’s really, it’s really hard now. It can be really hard sometimes, but you can do it you can wake up to this in yourself you can decide to love yourself so much that you’re going to take responsibility for how you create some of this energy, and I say that with a lot of love because. Me too. It’s possible to make new friends at any age, I, in the last year, I have made a couple of friendships really special connections with people that I just feel like I finally have it going on, and it’s a beautiful thing. And so it’s always possible, always, always, it’s never too late to make connections. We have to be willing and it’s scary,

47:51
you know, be, be open to that, if you feel afraid. If you meet new people and they seem weird that maybe you’re getting through some of your old stories and were defended we’re afraid and defended, more than we like to admit but more than we even know so the people who seem strange and weird, to us, they might be the perfect for new kinds of friends. So, you know, the last thing I’ll say just because this is what I do for a living, almost everybody, I see in session, feels like they would love to have more people in their lives who get them and that’s often something we talk about. It’s not unusual to feel like you’re the only one in your group who’s awake. I had a therapist years ago who said, there’s one mutant in every family which always cracked me up because we already feel like we’re the weirdos. So to call us the mutants is quite something. But it’s, it’s usually true like in a family of siblings, you might feel like you’re still the only one who grew up the way you did. You’re the only one with those experiences and memories, it’s, it’s so fascinating how this happens. So, a lot of times, yes, you might have to pay for a conversation, weekly with somebody who can show up with you and get you and support you and encourage you and the reason you do that is because you love yourself enough to learn and heal and grow so that you can go out in the world and meet friends who can meet you where you would like to be met, and also handle it, because there’s a whole side to this where if we weren’t taught how valuable we are how worthy we are, how lovable and loved we are if we didn’t have kindness offered to us freely in our parents, you know, my mom was somebody who was not nice with me a lot of the time so I can remember still feeling very suspicious of kind people, because I didn’t get it, like I had a much easier time with sarcastic friends, because at least I knew what that was but it doesn’t mean that was a healthy situation so you might think about how your situation, sort of, groomed you into the person you are today and what you want to do to change it. This totally happens to so many people you are not the only one you are not alone. And that’s why we need to keep coming together. I know it’s a podcast, but I hope you can feel how sincere, my heart is when I say you are loved and cherished and welcome here and you have a friend in me and everybody who’s listening right now, I know they’re thinking about you too. In fact, let’s take a moment together and share a hug, around our world, around the world. You know we listen from all over the world and we’re a small posse but we’re mighty. Let’s do it on the comma three, to send a hug, out to our circle to our posse 123 Lovely. So let’s friends let’s be open to what we would really really love to have in our lives and be open to releasing what’s so frustrating about the friends we have now. Maybe something can change if we stop identifying it so often and expecting it so frequently and, you know, kind of like, again, I’m not trying to put words in your mouth, but I know the place in me that’s like, See, I knew this person wouldn’t change I knew they would forget, I knew they would do this, I knew they wouldn’t do that, you know, so let’s be open to our own change, as well, and I thank you for the beautiful letter and I really appreciate your kind words and compliments, and that you join me, you know, every week, it’s a big deal to show up and share like this, and I love knowing you’re out there listening and receiving and joining me. So, make the me time for you, you’re worth it. You’re worthy. and

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you know I care about the weather in your heart, and I hope you will let me know how you’re doing. If you liked this letter, I’d love to hear back from you. It’s always fun to hear back what you thought. And if it feels right, I highly recommend a session with me, a session or two or more. I’m now offering sliding scale sessions I think this will work well for lots of people today, you’re worth it. I gotta say, I never really say it enough, but I should, I think we all struggle with paying money for support. On some level, receiving support for ourselves, and we are worth it, me included, it used to be a real challenge. But, you know, I know the value of having somebody who is there for you, who’s really there for you who is. And yes, you pay for that. But you’re going to get exactly what you need, you know, it’s really important, so consider a session there’s information how to work with me how to book one with me down below this episode. So bless you and thanks again. Yeah. I hope this helps. Well friends, you know I love to answer your letter so please feel free to write to me. And with that I’ll say cheers. I swear it’s water now, I changed to a bottle of water, it doesn’t sound very good, does it like I’m hitting the sauce over here. Cheers. My friends that wraps episode 133 133 is in the can. I hope you will take some of what I share today, deep into your heart and decide to practice with me. You matter the most love yourself the most love you the most, be your own best friend take something from today, and apply it in your life. And, you know, I always love to hear how it’s working for you, and maybe, maybe you can share that experience, and I’ll read your story here on the podcast. Well, as we wrap, it’s Friday afternoon, I’m looking forward to a fun weekend with my sweet husband. We’ve got a little yard project planned building some raised beds, and hopefully we’ll still be speaking to each other after that, you know those projects go, I actually appreciate another opportunity to give it another try and see how we can do together. And then we have a, we’ve decided to start a new ritual, this is going to be a yearly event we’re calling it the Get ready for it. The onion dip, potato chip fest. We’re going to meet and make an onion dip. You know the old fashioned onion dip in a, in a bag. You just stir it into some sour cream and then you eat chips. Yeah, we’re gonna pick like an Agatha Christie movie, something fun, uh, who done it and eat potato chips, and the dip on Saturday afternoon, that’s our plan, aren’t we so fun. So with that, I will say, I will see you next week I will be here to share some more love with you, and thanks for joining me. This has been me, Robin, chips and dips hallett. I’ll see you next time. Bye bye.

 
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