Here’s to the Dark Angels in Our Lives

here's to the dark angels in our lives who come to wake us up

Here’s to the dark angels in our lives who come to wake us up.

They bring their stinky gifts…the ones which whisper to our parts on the verge of readiness to advance. Stinky gifts which come in crappy packaging, and require some work before we can get to the good part.

What I am talking about when I say, Dark Angel:

• The mother in law who seems blind to the beauty and delight of your amazing children

• The guy who constantly speaks to you like you’re an idiot is finally so far over the line you are pushed to say something

• The partner unable to meet you at this new level of intimacy you’ve been cultivating and keeps treating you like a weirdo

• The bitchy barista you’re feeling nervous to return your burnt cup of coffee to

• The person who challenged the way you worded your last blog post

• The one who continues to be a dry well for you, no matter how many times you try to go there and drink

Dark angels stir the pot.

Their words and actions bring to mind memories and feelings which we’d rather keep buried. Painful stuff we keep trying to banish.

And when we’re hurting (or scared, or anxious), it is impossible to see that this is life giving us what we need in order to grow into the fullness of our being.

We might not realize all the ways we’ve been praying and asking to be helped… and these dark angels play a part in the answer because you learning to speak up or set a boundary is vital in terms of moving forward in the direction of your true longing.

Often these dark angels are an answer to an intention you’ve set.

Yes, Spirit will use people as dark angels to bring us lessons and experiences and it’s often the case that the friction from this interaction is so intense and difficult that we finally awaken to something on our insides in a flash which was waiting a lifetime to be heard.


If only we could learn to greet these dark angels at our door laughing, and not need to demonize them or attempt to kill them off.

We could welcome them in with a knowing that this is the Universe having our back, asking us to take our lives to the next level. I know that for many of us it’s our personal Ironman challenge…I know.

This is definitely a practice, not a perfect.

Because dark angels push us in an uncomfortable direction, at first we do rail against them. Hate on them.

It’s normal to want to hit someone just then, it’s okay, this is the initial wake up call. It’s appropriate to be feeling that sudden rush of life force surging through you. It’s okay to rail against it at first.

And then, what if you could learn to recognize that surge as the wake-up call, and not get hooked into demonizing the dark angel?

Even hours or days later, we could say to ourselves, perhaps the reason I am so triggered by this person is that they bring something up in me which is asking for attention. And then inquire, what is that part asking for attention inside of me?

I know, you may be saying Are you kidding me?! That person is an A*hole and that’s all there is to it!

I get it, I mean, who doesn’t feel like a wild animal when this stuff happens?

Let yourself rail, let yourself be pissed. Anger is a motivating force…for a while. Eventually, we need to move into a productive direction with it because if we just keep demonizing that person, then we have no choice but to begin to worship at an altar of upset which was never ever the point of this whole thing and the danger there is we face victimhood.

The point all along was to invite us to awaken. So see the dark angel for who they truly are–someone providing a crack so more light can get into your underbelly.


It’s not about getting THEM to understand anything. It’s about you understanding your own heart and taking your journey to the next level.

They might show you something you’re lacking so you can begin to address it

They might reject you in the most painfulest of ways so you can give yourself what you’re seeking (and find your right peeps who are more able to meet you where you’re at)

They might not see the preciousness that is you so that you can learn to see it for yourself

They might misunderstand, misconstrue, twist everything you said in order for you to learn to stand your ground and trust in your goodness and clarity of intention

They might miss you completely, and maybe finally, you will stop taking your thirst to their dry well.

here's to the dark angels in our livesThey are dark angels, answering the call on spirit’s behalf and the point isn’t to listen and receive them literally.

Ask your inner wise one what message you’re being given.

Ask. I know it is hard when you’re really feeling like a wild animal. And it’s totally okay to wait until the wildness dissipates. But whatever you do, trust that there is something powerful happening…unseen forces are here organizing this intervention on behalf of your inner little one who has been waiting for healing.

So here’s to the dark angels in our lives, to the ones who push against us, reject us, and cannot see all that we are. Thank you for helping us see the teachings and learn to take better care of ourselves. Thank you for pushing us to seek new company who totally gets the fabulousness that we are.

One more thing before I sign off. Never ever let it be your truth that this stuff is happening to you because you are bad, or unlovable, or you’re not doing your life right. This is never ever true. You’re a good person.

The truth is, you are a full-fledged member of the Universe, and membership has its perks 😉

Rock it like you mean it,

Shaman, guru, Mother

Read my recent interview in Mystic Magazine here: