Hi, from this couple right here. #1husband joins me in this episode to talk about all things healing, love, and relationship in stressy times like these.
What it’s been like living in quarantine. and how we encourage each other. On healing cancer and learning to fly again. Our trip to Italy and what it was really like including the discomfort of intimacy we hadn’t anticipated. We discuss our choices to help each other choose to grow and what we do when things change. How we accept the situations and ourselves.
Listen to this episode here or read the transcript (with timestamps) below.
🎧 Listen to Episode 104: Sacred Relationship in Times Like These
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A Course in Miracles Quotes:
The Rules for Decision, text Chapter 30
Also, Jeff quoted Shakespeare in Hamlet, There is neither good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.
Related links for this episode:
Books mentioned in this episode:
You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.
Movies mentioned in this episode:
Thank you for listening, may it serve you!
Hugs and love,
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Send a letter to Robin for the show
Robin Hallett 0:01
Hello Beloved. It’s me Robin, Robin Hallett intuitive healer and Light Sparkler at Robin Hallett.com and this is Tea with Robin. On today’s episode, I’ve got a special guest. A special treat a visit from number one husband. We’re talking about sacred relationship in times like these. So much to say. Not sure we set it all but it’s pretty amazing. I hope you love it. Come grab a cup of yum yum. And meet us here.
Hello beautiful. It’s me, Robin. And welcome back to the podcast Tea with Robin. This is Episode 104104 104 friends. right at the beginning, I want to say a special special thing. Thank you. Special Special thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for your kindness and your love. From the last episode, be a friend to your own heart. I shared some you know some of my own process lately my emotional stuff. I had a few little breakthroughs and break downs on the episode and I so appreciate your love and your support. Thank you. I am doing so much brighter and better feeling so much happier in my heart so much easier in my spirit this week, and I love knowing that what I shared was helpful to you as well. So just wanted to say thank you. Thank you. And I’m recording today in the pillow fort and I have a special guest along with me. Special Guest now Hello special guests everybody’s
#1Husband Jeff 2:01
supposed to guess now. It’s like, to tell the truth, or What’s My Line? No, no, it’s me, Jeff.
Robin Hallett 2:10
It’s me down. It’s number one husband.
#1Husband Jeff 2:13
Hello. Hello. Hello. Thanks for having me in the pillow for
Robin Hallett 2:16
thank you for Robbie. I can tell you kind of like it in here because last night you had a zoom call with your siblings.
#1Husband Jeff 2:24
Yeah. That was very good to hear from the pillow for Yeah,
Robin Hallett 2:28
the pillow fart is very fun. So we’re here. Recording we’ve been sitting here just thinking about what do we want to share? We thought well, I got the math totally wrong. Because I said we should record when it’s double the amount of episodes another 62 I think we did Episode 62 together sacred relationship. And I said to you the other day, you know 104 is coming up and it’s like, half the halfway. How do you say that but I got it. Math totally wrong, because that would have been Episode 52. So right
#1Husband Jeff 3:05
here we are. The important thing is you have the math right now. And we’re here.
Robin Hallett 3:10
Yes. So welcome back to the podcast 104 with number one husband and you know, we thought we would say hi, come together share an episode again on sacred relationship. Let’s start the way we always do first of all, to our friends. How is the weather in your heart? How have you been? How are you doing? Are you
#1Husband Jeff 3:36
being kind to yourself?
Robin Hallett 3:38
Are you being gentle?
#1Husband Jeff 3:42
Do you wake up in the morning and hug yourself? Yeah. Do
Robin Hallett 3:45
did you set an intention for the day?
#1Husband Jeff 3:47
Are you being really kind and aware and awake and just
#1Husband Jeff 3:55
being good to yourself? Yeah,
Robin Hallett 3:58
cuz you shouldn’t you come first. Patient your needs patient with your feelings. You know? Yeah, I hope so. We hope so don’t wait. We do. Yeah, we do really, really wish that for you. We hope that your practice
#1Husband Jeff 4:12
we think about it a lot because we try to do that practice. Every morning. We try to wake up, hug ourselves. Yeah. And then we hug each other. Yeah. Then coffee. Yeah. And usually coffee. That is the correct sequence of events. That is the correct sequence of
Robin Hallett 4:29
events. Yes. So we hope the weather in your heart is good. Over here, it’s a beautiful day. We’re recording on a Saturday in the pillow fort. The sun is shining, the leaves are blowing in the wind and it’s making all these really pretty little shadows through the healing room of the pillow fart. I’m still trying to get used to that. But look at these rainbow sparkles coming off of the crystal and the sunlight. And it’s so beautiful in here.
#1Husband Jeff 5:02
Very beautiful. Yeah. So it’s great space. Yeah.
Robin Hallett 5:05
Happy Day. Thanks for agreeing to come here and hold space with me.
#1Husband Jeff 5:12
Yeah. And I really liked the pillow for it, I think. Yeah,
Robin Hallett 5:15
yeah. First we need to have some tea.
#1Husband Jeff 5:17
Oh, yes. That’ll be coming up
Robin Hallett 5:19
before we get too far into our conversation. I brought some Okay. What did you bring?
#1Husband Jeff 5:24
Uh, I’m not sure I made it. Five minutes ago. I grabbed a bag. I’ll let you know in a moment.
Robin Hallett 5:31
I think it’s meant because refreshment right on the tag. Oh,
#1Husband Jeff 5:35
that’s a giveaway.
Robin Hallett 5:36
#1Husband Jeff 5:38
no lager. I have a surprise. I
Robin Hallett 5:40
have a lovely cup of peppermint blank tea iced tea that I made and Let’s cheers. First of all, I like to cheers you for always being fun. Play along guy. Go with the flow and always helping bring patients and come to Max, and
#1Husband Jeff 6:04
thank you. Oh, yeah.
Robin Hallett 6:06
And to you, my friend listening. Thanks for being here for all these episodes. Cheers to you and a beautiful day.
#1Husband Jeff 6:14
Cheers. Cheers everybody.
#1Husband Jeff 6:20
And I can confirm that as Mint is
Robin Hallett 6:22
good my NASS mint too. So it’s like mint, mint, mint, mint, mint mint.
#1Husband Jeff 6:27
Rejoice. Let us rejoice and be glad in mints.
Robin Hallett 6:32
So, so friends, the last time we were all together, Jeff and I on this podcast, it was Episode 62. We called it sacred relationship. We might just call this one the same again. Let us pause for the slug bug to make its exit. That’s one thing I have noticed this the street noise is a bit louder here and there’s a bunch of kids who just Got their license. And all they do is drive around. Yeah. And sometimes they love the raceways way here. So it’s kind of cute. I remember doing that too. Actually, I was a kid one.
#1Husband Jeff 7:13
I never was.
Robin Hallett 7:13
I was. I didn’t get my license till I was 18 though, because somebody had a little trouble passing the parallel parking. In Driver’s Ed and during the exam, so
#1Husband Jeff 7:26
yeah. Oh, yeah, I would have given you one. Anyway, just because you’re cute. That’s the problem with you.
Robin Hallett 7:35
Some people should not be driving. Not me, though.
#1Husband Jeff 7:38
No, yeah. Okay.
Robin Hallett 7:40
Okay. Well, any you I digress. So, last time we were together 62 we recorded up Do you remember this up at the cabin? I do in Wisconsin on the lake and we talked about things in our relationship, what it’s been like being married this on Jeff and I are coming up on 20 married. But we’ve been together longer than that. Another five to seven years. Give or take. Yeah.
#1Husband Jeff 8:07
It’s a math thing. Yeah, it’s
Unknown Speaker 8:09
a math thing again, my friend
#1Husband Jeff 8:11
62 or 52 years.
Robin Hallett 8:13
If we weren’t married in 2000. I would not be able to accurately tell you. Oh, where are we married
#1Husband Jeff 8:20
in? 2000? We did. We were. Wait, that was
Robin Hallett 8:23
it. So we’re in 20. Oh, yeah. 20 years. I’m like, Oh, God, if I’ve been saying the wrong number of years to I’m part, you know, like intergalactic cosmonauts. That’s it. Well, in my defense, yes. I always write some stupid. Well, the thing is, I’m on other levels. I’m not thinking about the man. Right?
#1Husband Jeff 8:47
Yeah, doesn’t matter. Yeah. Okay, well, and not only does it matter, but if you read enough,
Unknown Speaker 8:52
#1Husband Jeff 8:53
I read this. I read books on relativity and quantum and if you read that stuff, Yeah, quantum physics and all that stuff. Know the numbers that we’re used to in the Newtonian world. Don’t really doesn’t matter. Yeah.
Robin Hallett 9:06
Anyway. Thank you. So the last time we were together, we recorded at the cabin. Yeah. We talked about you having come through bladder cancer in that whole experience. I really recommend you go back and listen. It sounded a little funny because we were in a tiny cabin. And we didn’t have the microphone with us now. Hopefully, this will sound better. We talked about Wow, we have really been practicing taking time off for ourselves. I remember the big focus of the vacation was like learning how to take a vacation and not be afraid of spending the money being away from home learning. Yes, I can still work and be away and it’s alright. It’s okay to take life at a slower pace. Little did we know how that’s changed. Yeah, how much change because that was in October and by federal Be wary, just five months later, we would be in the middle of a pandemic, the beginning of a pandemic right in the states anyway. How about that?
#1Husband Jeff 10:09
There was a lot of I had a lot of stress even at that time, which I may not have told you about. Yeah, this
Robin Hallett 10:15
is because forever holding out on me, my old friends. I
#1Husband Jeff 10:18
had stressed at that time. That because we had talked about we were talking about and we had actually made plans to go to Italy for a month. Yeah. And I had stress about being away from home that long or home because our home needs somebody to look after it a little bit every now and then. Yeah. And especially in the dead of winter in Chicago. So I worried about frozen pipes and things like that I worried about being away from my clients, and then they would stop loving me. And I had stress just about you and me, just being alone for 30 days or something like that. Why? Well, you know, a little bit being away from friends.
#1Husband Jeff 11:05
Yeah. So I had all that going on.
Robin Hallett 11:09
I don’t know what this means. And it all turned it on for me a secret thing on totally.
#1Husband Jeff 11:14
What does it mean? You have to interpret?
Robin Hallett 11:17
This means drag it out.
#1Husband Jeff 11:19
Yeah. It’s kind of like improv what you learn in improv is you never say no, no, no, I’m not
Robin Hallett 11:25
negating I’m saying I’m surprised. Am I not allowed to be surprised? You’re surprised? Yeah. You were afraid to be alone with me?
#1Husband Jeff 11:32
No, no, no, no,
Robin Hallett 11:35
I can’t believe that’s not what I
#1Husband Jeff 11:37
meant. Alright, say it again. Well, because we were going to be in a country by ourselves alone 30 days. Okay, so without our friends and stuff, would we get on each other’s nerves that run that long? Yeah. Okay. And also I in my head I was thinking, I’ll tell you this. You may not have heard this before. This is what comes out when the mic goes on. Yeah. But what I was thinking was after three weeks, I might get tired. I might think that’s enough. Let’s go home of me, Mike. No not have you uh, but I just will have thought. That’s enough of Italy. Three weeks. Done.
Robin Hallett 12:24
And that was our agreement, though. If either one of us wants to go home. Yes, it was a long time. Yeah, we I’ve never been away that long. We’ve not done anything like
#1Husband Jeff 12:33
that before. Yeah, right.
#1Husband Jeff 12:36
Robin Hallett 12:39
yeah, I did think like you read about people who are entrepreneurial. We’ve never called ourselves entrepreneurs but work for themselves self-employed. And you think I would be so nice to go away and travel and work but not for me. I don’t know how I can do that. We made it we made it work. That was big. That was huge. But the agreement was if it’s too scary or too hard or too stressful, or whatever it is, we could come home.
#1Husband Jeff 13:07
Robin Hallett 13:09
But the point is, we
#1Husband Jeff 13:11
did great. We did great. We did super great. We
Robin Hallett 13:16
did great. And also how fascinating we had no idea that upon our return COVID would begin. Yeah, no idea. No clue. No, of course not.
#1Husband Jeff 13:30
No, there’s no way to know to build
Robin Hallett 13:32
up to leaving for Italy. It was all about Italy. People say to us still I can still remember. You know, Italy, all your stories, if you like my Instagram stories, all your daily photos and yeah, like it was all about the buildup and then all about being there. And we had no idea of what was going to happen upon our return. And so much more like all the things that have To people we were connected to at the time and just we have never even heard from our landlord again. And the truth is, we don’t know if he’s okay or not. Yeah, we don’t know. Like we were in touch a little bit. Um, and then we just never heard from him again. Like he never responded again. And the weird is weird because he was sick the day we got there. Yeah. And then we were both sick for about a week.
#1Husband Jeff 14:27
Yes. And I haven’t been sick. And
Robin Hallett 14:30
neither of us since we’ve been home or anything.
#1Husband Jeff 14:33
We haven’t had a hold or anything. Well, I was gonna say I haven’t had a cold or years, years, years and years, and then we were in Italy, and I was sick for about three days. Yeah. And then it went away. Yeah. But I hadn’t been sick and so on. So I
Robin Hallett 14:48
was sick for about a week. laying in bed, fevers, it would come and it would go. So but I remember that the first day getting the keys to our apartment, and dear The kids were there. The girls. Our kids came with us for the first week and I went to put my hand out to the landlord and Dierdre yank me by the arm. Don’t shake his hand. Like she. There was something she knew she must have. she sensed it. Yeah. My arm hurt for like the rest of the afternoon. And he was really sick by Yeah. Yeah. Nobody else thought the kids didn’t get sick or anything. So who knows?
#1Husband Jeff 15:27
Yeah, who knows. But
Robin Hallett 15:29
the point was, we had no idea. Yeah, we came home. Do you remember the science journal was just starting to talk about China? Yes. And a certain kind of flew. We had no idea. Yeah. Our friend Lisa texted us somewhere and somewhere around February mid-February and said, Wow, you got out of Assisi. Spirit has your back. You guys should see what’s going on there. It’s like what’s going on there. She was sending articles about COVID in the grass in Venice people, they’re finding like evidence of whatever. And I oh my
#1Husband Jeff 16:07
goodness, I have no idea. I think that’s when we first started seeing pictures of people spraying down the steps. Yeah, to all the churches and things like that. Yeah. So
Robin Hallett 16:19
that was our, you know, yeah. But
#1Husband Jeff 16:22
that was a, you know, the trip, the whole lead up to the trips. And from our, even from a little bit before when we went to Wisconsin, so a little bit older than a year ago, I had really been practicing on letting go because I can be kind of uptight, I think everybody can. Well, I can be uptight about certain things like yeah, how are we going to afford something? What are we committing to? And so as and when we talked about this trip, I could have thought of 1000 reasons why we couldn’t go and I really practicing on letting go and trusting and thinking I want to have fun with you. And I don’t want to wait till we’re 70 no way and having gone through the cancer thing
#1Husband Jeff 17:14
makes me think differently.
#1Husband Jeff 17:17
Not to be morbid, but I would think I don’t know if I’ll get to 70. And you can say that about any time you could walk outside and get hit by a bus or whatever, and
Robin Hallett 17:26
feel free to be morbid here. So this is a, you know, we’re talking about real stuff. So please be yes.
#1Husband Jeff 17:36
So I, I really practiced letting go and trusting that we together would be great. Yeah, and trusting that whatever place because you were kind of in charge of picking the place where we would stay and you pick the best spot and I had stress Bought it set the right spot? Are we going doing the right thing? I’m, again confronting all those blocks that I had. And just thinking, Jeff, just let it go. Let it go, Robin can take care of it, she’ll, she’ll do it, it’ll be fine. And even if it isn’t fine, we’ll be together. And it’ll be an adventure and learn and adventure together and we do great together. And the whole trip was full of times like that from when we left O’Hare and flew to Philadelphia, and there was some stress because the weather was bad. And we didn’t know if we’d get on that flight to Rome. And things just kind of worked out. And I thought, well, we’re together. So who cares, whatever. However, it turns out if we have to spend a night in Philadelphia and Miss Rome or whatever, but things fell together. They got us a flight. We got to Rome just in time and the trip Just had event after event like that, where I really practice letting go. And just thinking Robbie and I are together. That’s all the counts. Yeah. And this is great. And then the kids came and being stressed about that and letting that go. So it was really big for me. As far as our, our relationship, and we spent 31 days there. I think it was 31 days. And it was great. And then we got home and we went into quarantine. And it’s still been great. Yeah. So if ever there’s a ship, leaving the planet and going somewhere else where we’ve got to be on there for years together, I think we’re good. When you go with me. I
Robin Hallett 19:44
will go with you in a heartbeat. It’s really amazing. I have so many things I want to say back Can I respond to any of the stuff you said or see? Okay, that’s Italian. I mean, you’ve got us you’ve got authority taking a ship off the planet. So can I still be passengers? I love such a good. I still want to know, did they have babies and who made the roosters and the grass and all that? And I Andy Garcia at the end. Okay. All right. That’s another time. Yes. You know, I sometimes look back at my time and remember the meltdowns, you’re talking about? You know, you’re letting go. So I think for anybody out there listening, my friends who talked to me about how they’re too controlling, and they want to let go of control and, you know, think about yourself as you’re listening to this. How does this relate to you and your life because, you know, a lot of us are controlling because we’re scared. And what I’m hearing you talk about is you want to live in adventure. You want to live in the moment and also there’s this fear and this control and the Some these real issues How will I make money? How will I survive? What will we do if it’s terrible? What will we do? Is the apartment nice? Is this nice? You know, and ultimately you realize I give up I surrender control. Because why your freedom, your excitement mattered more to you or the joy of being together or you just how did you do that? That’s what I want to know. I think everybody will want to know why. How did you manage to like figure out? I have all this fear. I have all this hesitancy maybe you don’t want to call it fear. But
#1Husband Jeff 21:36
no, I think it was fear. I don’t care. What’s the right word there? Yeah. I have
Robin Hallett 21:41
all this fear. And how did you get yourself over that? Or through that? What
#1Husband Jeff 21:47
was the thing? Well, I don’t really recommend it for anybody but having had cancer was a big deal. had a lot to do with that and coming through that and just deciding life is Precious and let’s go have fun. You may recall I had been gone through quite a few years where I really wasn’t flying. When I say really wasn’t, I wasn’t he wasn’t dead off. You’re either are you’re not
Robin Hallett 22:12
airplane miles. Yeah. No airplane flying. Now since 911 Yes. Stop playing non stop playing. I was
#1Husband Jeff 22:19
terrified. I would think about it and get sweats practically. Yeah. And as we approached this trip, obviously, we had a nine or 10 hour flight. Yeah. And I just thought, Hey, I beat cancer. What do I care for me? Not What do I care but I don’t care. I’m I’m going to live my life. I’m going to do exciting things and Robbie and I are going to be on the plane together. And if the plane goes down, we’re going down together. And I was absolutely fine. You sure I have no problem? Getting on shareware, being on the flight and totally That’s the truth. It was so free to do that. And that little things like that. That’s not a little thing. But there were also lots of little things leading up to it, like, letting you pick the place, letting you kind of decide on the schedule. And just trusting that whatever comes up, come up and deciding not to decide. Yeah, it’s a big one. And going with the flow, and believing that anything that comes up will handle
Unknown Speaker 23:33
#1Husband Jeff 23:35
this is gorgeous. So there were there was a lot of
#1Husband Jeff 23:43
high, it’s hard to encapsulate it other than to tell people well, here’s one other thing that helped me, and I can’t remember where I read this or if I just thought of it myself. I thought if I am going to write at the end of my life, if I’m going to write autobiography. Yeah, I don’t want to have 20 chapters where I’m afraid to fly, and never do anything. I don’t want to have chapters full of looking back and regretting that I didn’t do things when I had a chance. And people when I told them we were going for 30 days, they would say, Why are you’re not retired? or How can you do that now? Or, you know, all the all the things that people say on something like that? How can you afford that? It was just, it was more like how can we not afford to do those things, you’re gonna write your book, have some good stuff and,
Robin Hallett 24:44
and some beautiful things in it beautiful things in it. And that’s god that is so good, honey. That’s just one of those things where you realize, you know, if you’re in this field of, I mean, you studied this stoics you love philosophy? You read Shakespeare? To me, that’s all sort of about awakening, the Dow tychy. All the things you’re into. It’s like this field, you’re in the serve like awakening or would you put a word to it? What are you about? Yeah. Would you say alive man for awareness? Or awakening or? Yeah. Awakening? Yeah. Awakening? Yeah. To sometimes just say I’m a scientist, but that’s not really all encompassing. That’s one aspect. Yeah, I was not really all encompassing.
#1Husband Jeff 25:49
I’m a philosopher. Yeah.
Robin Hallett 25:51
So you’ve got this beautiful philosophy, and it’s like, I want to deal with my fear. I still remember that from 911 we had two tickets to go to Europe. And you would not fly. If we had already booked it. Right. So we didn’t go and the only time you flew in the last 20 Well, yeah, the last 20 years was my dad. My when my dad died. Yeah, you agreed to fly one way and drive home.
#1Husband Jeff 26:21
And that was like an hour hour, like 20 minutes or to Buffalo, New York. Yeah. And I was white knuckled and drinking
Robin Hallett 26:30
as fast as I could. I remember the little factor the bottles. Yeah. Yeah. I’m like, Yes. Whatever gets you through. Yeah. Whatever gets you through. That’s why it’s here. Yes, we have to get there. Yeah. Yeah. So that’s, it’s so amazing. One of the things I think is interesting, when people are like, how can you afford that? or How can you do that or you can’t do that. You’re not retired. It’s like, I am around you for whatever story you sit in you listening our friends here and listening with us today. Whatever field you believe exists around you energy field energetics. Imagine a viscous tight bubble. It’s thick. I mean, you can kind of punch through it, but it’s compressing against you. Am I saying that right? It’s pulling in on you. Yeah, that’s your belief system. And if you believe you can’t, it’s a very tight belief system and it’s a very tight energetic field. Your aura is tight and the energy around you that you perceive is very tight. And this is where in healing to it. I don’t know. This is interesting. I see people have really bad gi problems, stomach issues, hemorrhoids, really bad migraines, really bad issues with hearing issues with vision. Think about it’s like all the things that allow you to explore the world and explore beyond yourself. It’s affected. So to make a decision like that, I’m going to go I feel it, but I’m going to do it anyway. I just want to say, I don’t know if you know how huge that is. And it was like that. You didn’t heal it for 20 years. You healed it in an instant you decided, this is how I want to feel. Yeah. And you did it. And that’s last week, I talked about in Episode 103. The rules for decision. I was having a very tough week that week, and I decided, let’s just, I’m going to record you help me just record and that was me doing the same thing pushing beyond my control, my fearful story, expanding the boundaries on my energy and practicing the rules for decision in question. And miracles, which in a nutshell is like, hey, how do you want to feel? In your day, in your life, in your month in your future, whatever you, like, describe it, feel into it. It’s a state of being it’s not it’s a state of flow. It’s not like material stuff. You know? It’s not $1 amount. It’s a, I want to be free. You wanted to feel what? Just think about that. The decision you made to get yourself to Italy, get on a plane. Be there as long as you did. What was the decision you made?
#1Husband Jeff 29:39
The vibe, the vibe was adventure.
Robin Hallett 29:42
Yeah. Like free or adventure. Or if I keep going like this with my arms, like way out like I wanna right?
#1Husband Jeff 29:50
Yes, I think I always think of Bilbo Baggins. Martin Freeman in the Hobbit movie. who’s running? saying, We’re going on an adventure? And I always think, Wow, that is something about the how excited he was at going on an adventure. Yeah. And that started a little things like that would come into my sphere, I think, yeah, that’s how I want to be. I want to go on an adventure, go on adventures, and I, and I got dragged into the cancer adventure and got through that, and it made me want to find good adventures. That’s beautiful. And
Robin Hallett 30:29
I love that because as I was saying the rules for decision says, decide how you want it to be. Yeah. And so you wanted it to be an adventure and then it says, make no other decisions. That’s when we say to you, friends listening, decide not to decide. That’s what we’re talking about. Make no other decisions. Hold this one in your heart about how you want it to be. I want to feel most days I’m like, I want to feel easy. Want to feel peaceful? Make no other decisions. And this will be the day that’s given to you. And sometimes it says, grabbing you just burped. I don’t know if it comes through but I like to say that friends, I may not edit that out you’re getting a little of the behind the scenes in front of the scenes.
#1Husband Jeff 31:24
Anyway, actually the post production team takes care of that
Robin Hallett 31:27
I am the post production team. So this this will be easy today but um, the the thing that’s so cool about it, it says you know, make no decisions on your own other than that original one. And stay open because I may be tapping you I may be giving you some nudges about things and I think that is how Bilbo Baggins or was it Bilbo Bilbo. Yeah, Bilbo comes to you. Martin Freeman comes to you in your mind, that’s it, because this is a collaborative universe. It’s always corresponding to your thoughts and your choices. So if you’re somebody wanting to know how do I give up control and give up my fear and give up my story, that it has to be the way it always has been? Because Hi, have you seen the world now? You have to make a new decision. And then hold on to that. So when we say again, decide not to decide it means you got to remember what you originally chose. And when you feel controlling, you can’t decide for your regime, your tight asked regime on how things need to go. You have to let go. And I saw you do that again and again. And it happened for me as well. So me too, letting go of control. I started feeling a lot more I started having a lot more experiences and I had to let you in. I have to let you see me. I couldn’t hide. So it’s funny that you said 31 days or 30 days? I don’t know, would it be too much of us together? Yeah. What happened for me was giving up control what that looked like was a lot of my emotional stuff that I was going through. I could not hide it away. And some of you who’ve been listening will remember my friend who moved to Italy, she was going through some really big stuff, like I just don’t even know how to catch everybody up. But her experience did not go as planned. And it was really hard. You know, the truth is, sometimes things just do not work out like your mind is foreseeing it. And that’s really what we’re talking about. You have to give up control. So I remember having a lot of emotional breakdowns. We had a fantastic trip. I would go back in a heartbeat, but I had a lot I have to work through and I felt like I couldn’t hide it because I have nowhere to go. You know, so I had to just let it be. And we had certain interactions with certain people that I just couldn’t pretend I was fine. Can I say it like that or no? Yeah, yeah. Like I would get annoyed or triggered or I just did not want to be in that conversation. And I couldn’t do anything about it. So I just had to give up control. And I started getting very, very real. Letting it out crying, being in the moment, and it was like the best thing ever. did. Did that all sound like a big secret? No. Did I sound clear? Okay. Yeah. Like I remember getting to the airport in Rome. And they’re like, oh, all your luggage just gone for maybe one week, or 72 hours and we were like, Oh my God. And I started crying. Like I was so I was so surprised by my behavior. In a way I was ashamed. I was surprised. I was like, trying to hold it all in, you know, and you just can’t. So let it go have to let it go. And that was like the best thing ever. The beginning of my transformation, I would say,
#1Husband Jeff 35:19
unfortunately, we were together. Yeah, we offset each other in those moments, just because we were together. And we helped each other. We
Robin Hallett 35:28
helped each other a lot. You remember one day you said to me, Robin, you have to treat yourself you’re like a marine. Remember this? I do. Marines. How did you because I said oh my god, like, you know, it’s hard. Sometimes you’re you have unexpected issues that you didn’t see coming and that was me in Italy, my friends that I was going to stay with and be with and we like it. Just Yeah, did not see it coming did not expect it did not. And everything was upside down. I mean, she has really been walking to fire herself. And so yeah, so there was just one day I said, I can’t do it. I can’t go there. I can’t I don’t want to talk to her. I don’t know what to do. It’s just all so crazy. You know, and you said to me, I
#1Husband Jeff 36:24
said, sometimes you have to be you have to decide to be a marine. And you run toward the sound of gunfire, because that’s where you’re needed. Yeah.
Robin Hallett 36:34
Sometimes you do. I thought you said you go into the fire. I thought I always pictured it like a burning building, to be honest.
#1Husband Jeff 36:40
Well, that would be I guess, if you were a firefighter. That’s
Robin Hallett 36:42
why I never understood the analogy. But now you said gunfire and I get it. Ooh, no. The
#1Husband Jeff 36:47
firefight. I think I may have said the firefight. You run toward the sound of the firefight. Yeah, because that’s, that’s where you’re needed. Yeah. And you can’t do it all the time. But when you can
#1Husband Jeff 37:00
#1Husband Jeff 37:03
you know, it takes a certain amount of strength to do that and determination. And you did it. Yeah. I
Robin Hallett 37:09
did. What I learned through all of that, in that whole, I have no control. The feelings are coming out, I have a lot of stuff happening. I did go and and showed up. I did it. But I also learned, because like, the stuff my friend was going through, like, you can’t even write it in a fiction novel. And somebody would say, nobody will believe that. That’s just, that’s what was happening for my friend. And it’s continuing to happen, you know? Yeah. So nobody would believe that in in the movie. This is not believable that that was what was going on. So I was just trying to figure out how to show up and be there and get out of my own way. Get out of being annoyed and triggered and selfish and like this was supposed to be about us? And yeah, we’re ended up taking care of a lot of things that we weren’t planning on. So it was a heavier time for me. Yeah. Am I losing, though my point here, okay. So I too with control, I want to show up and I want to be here. I believe there’s a way to be at peace at the same time. The way it was was to stop controlling the ride to stop deciding what my friend needed to look like what you needed to look like what our visitors needed to look like. When I say look, I mean like, the conversations, the behaviors, the actions, the tours, whatever we were doing, I let go and it turned out to be a real gift. I got really back into my practice my my own daily practices, to more committed also to be myself and just accept. This is how I am I’m like a little barometer stuff is going on. I sometimes I’ll have an emotional reaction before we know what’s happening. You’re bright. Yeah. Right. So and I’ve been like that with the trip with COVID with blacklivesmatter it’s like, you know, I’ve always been that way where I know ahead of time what’s coming 911 show interesting. Anyway, anyway.
#1Husband Jeff 39:31
Yeah, that was quite coming off with a trip and then coming home. Yeah.
Robin Hallett 39:37
And then COVID kind of COVID
#1Husband Jeff 39:39
hard on our heels practically from getting off the plane. Yeah. And we kind of went into a we came out of 31 days of being together and went into six months of isolation practically and ongoing. Yeah. And our relationship is has been holding us together. Even better helping us deal with the stress.
Robin Hallett 40:02
Yeah. We’ve been really flourishing actually. And some beautiful decisions have come out of it. What would you say if you had a gift that came out of COVID? Just one thing right now that you could think of? What is their gift? Is there something you learned or something? You’re like, wow, this changed me forever for the good or,
Unknown Speaker 40:30
#1Husband Jeff 40:33
#1Husband Jeff 40:37
appreciation for all the things that we can no longer do. I think that often happens when that’s a typical reaction to something where a lot of things are taken away, to suddenly have an appreciation for for that, and I missed those things. But I also have an appreciation. I appreciate more than things that we can do. Yeah. So I’ve enjoyed our house more this this year, I’ve enjoyed the yard more than I ever have even picking the weeds
#1Husband Jeff 41:10
#1Husband Jeff 41:12
#1Husband Jeff 41:15
so I think that’s it a shift to
#1Husband Jeff 41:20
our closer relationship and
#1Husband Jeff 41:24
just being together
Robin Hallett 41:28
about you know, I’m getting to know myself more and I’m stepping over the threshold of my own fear around, you know, I really do want to do what I do every day. And that I mean the healing and thinking about God and practicing helping people. I want to do that all the time. That’s really my only thing and I’ve discovered in the last Six months of COVID, which is so crazy to say six large sevens, just saw something in today’s newspaper. So the end of August 2028 says, you know, the suburbs might be having another research and they’re looking at stepping back some of the stuff they’re doing well, yeah, we’ve just had a bunch of the schools try and reopen and it’s just, you know, we, we have to learn to sit with our discomfort because if we can’t we end up pushing the envelope on things that we have no control over. And we are not in control. And that’s the thing about COVID I think it’s what it can teach us is we have to learn to sit and be with our discomfort, be with our emotions, be with what’s not working and just let it go. No, so the greatest gift for me out of that is Getting to know myself that I don’t need to do anything other than what I love. And what I love is this. And it’s like, but I can do it in the way I want to do it. So we stopped seeing people at the house for Healing Sessions. And we’ve discussed it and that’s going to be a permanent thing. I mean, I doubt I will rent an office just to do healings because of the expense of that it doesn’t make sense. I think we’re moving in a more virtual way. So that’s, that’s one thing. This works better for me. I do better. I feel more connected to myself. It feels like the power is greater when I’m not in person with somebody. I think I’ve always known it but I didn’t want to acknowledge it. People in business and stuff that you cannot do virtual and the whole world is Spiritual now Yeah, I’m just not gonna say anything about that. But all the experts, even my own healer who was like you can’t do virtual healings. Yeah. Yes you can. Yes you can. So I yeah quickly on it. I remember thinking, wow overnight my healing sessions with me, it really slowed down and it gave me this opportunity to to realize I’m still going to do healing right no matter what because this is My thing and I refuse to be afraid, and I refuse to be hemmed in by this. I’m not going to listen to my fear I’m going to give to my practice. So I really see now being on my knees and Assisi in that way. Going through that. In my own way, the fire I always looked into this the fire, by the way, and like an alchemical you got to go in and let this thing burn away whatever you’re saying and you got to say it and you got You know, that’s what I heard. It’s interesting. I never got why Marines did firefighting but that’s what we’re Yeah. And it It made me fearless what you said you put something through me and it made me fearless. So began doing morning magic, like one of the first days of the shutdown in our time so are like March 18 or something I thought I’m gonna just start coming, going live on Instagram every day until this is over while we’re home Well, we’re all home while we’re, you know, nobody knows what to do. Somebody has to be willing to go into the fire and sit there. Talk to people and I started doing that and you know, I have No rags to riches story for you around that. I just have to say it’s an amazing thing. It has changed me and healed me. It has evolved us. It’s a Their lives this morning mantich we’re still doing it.
#1Husband Jeff 46:06
It’s amazing. It’s um, it is amazing. So and that was a big change for us because we had kind of had a routine. Yeah in the mornings and Now with the introduction of morning magic, we had to change that routine and we just we picked up on that and Yeah, I don’t know how much help I am but I try not to get in the way You’re because it’s your it’s your thing and it’s been so great. You’re a huge I mean,
Robin Hallett 46:33
you’re the one who helps Me, I think I’m through all those next threshold. hurdles where I’m like quitting every day. I’m too scared. No yeah too worried and all that, you know All of you who listen and write to me. I mean just there are people Who are being helped by that and that’s it. everything to me, you know and I trust in their flow. A lot of us are wondering now what are we going to do? How will we make it In the midst of all these awaits killings and all these things and Black Lives Matter. And to speak more people have been more Yeah, it is really like we’re in a Time is unprecedented and what I would say as Somebody who’s holding space. We’re not Done. So don’t decide Don’t decide, you know how it’s going. Don’t decide we’re not done. We’re not done. Don’t Take your martial Hello out of the fire just yet. Because it’s not ready oh They’re
#1Husband Jeff 47:38
there. That’s when I can chew over Yeah,
Robin Hallett 47:42
don’t take the marshmallow out is not done cooking. Yeah, we’re not ready We’re not done. We don’t know. Trust. We’re going some Good, something beautiful is happening. Yeah
#1Husband Jeff 47:56
and yeah It’s helpful to have this group you know, thought Love passie I think at times likely Very difficult times we’ve been through when you just don’t know what To do what to say where to turn You find your peeps and that makes those groups that much more valuable. Yeah a place where you can go and And just be with like minded people. It’s really important to find those those relationships and We’ve you’ve built quite a bit Following based on that, I don’t want to Stay there. Don’t come data. Okay, yeah
Robin Hallett 48:38
I just you know, I think it’s interesting like Today I talked about that. Letting go of You thought it was supposed to look like yeah I had said this today I always assumed it meant I was supposed to become like a famous author or a famous self help. person or a famous I, you know, and interestingly, I never longed for fame and I do don’t have it still, and I’m really happy about that. I’m really happy that I’m still anonymous. Pretty much I’m really happy about that. And there was some fresher than I believe that was what I was supposed to be doing. And it wasn’t until, you know, I really started to look at that in myself and realize that’s not ever what I want. it it’s not my personality. I mean somebody who’s like I’m happy I don’t do in person sessions anymore. is not the one you know who Well anyway, the point is I’m just Happy that there’s a group Who wants to come and talk about things And not just send each other fun means have a cat Making a face And then putting the caption with it. Like 21 days in the corner tene and all I have is this hairball. Yeah or something. You know, I’m just glad that’s not all we do. Believe me. I need My laughs too but like this is the place where we can be together and talk about things and like I think about us everybody is coming to their place. of reckoning and I’ve talked about Paul Selig and the guides they Talk about reckoning a lot. This is a time of reckoning where we’re really starting to awaken and realize this is what I’ve cared about this This story, or this offense or this hurt, or this mistake in my 20s or this thing We’re having our reckoning or you I’ve nourished relationships. I’m not really interested in living anymore I’ve been I’ve been allowing myself to stay up fraid that I never set the boundaries. I needed for example, we’re all having these awakening Are these reckonings? Where we have to Make the next step. Yeah, make the next change, make the next shift. So I’d
#1Husband Jeff 51:10
love some old stuff go Let it go. Let it familiar. Yeah, and say goodbye
Robin Hallett 51:17
And so really where you come to those places He says I have this. I talked to This last week I was feeling so stressed about the format and stuff for the podcast that I thought I’m just going to do the same thing again. You told me just go and do it different And let’s see. I don’t know where we’re going, but I’m still here. We’re still here. We’re going to keep keep going.
#1Husband Jeff 51:43
Good. Yeah, you’re here. You’re here, and I’ll be here, rooting you on. I’ll be here rooting you on. It’s a good arrangement. Yeah,
Robin Hallett 51:54
celebrating each other in a beautiful day. And do you have one piece of advice you would give Our friends in the party who are listening, you know, just being The dude who has done some many beautiful things for himself and this obvious air Anything you want to invite our friends to consider?
#1Husband Jeff 52:20
I would encourage
#1Husband Jeff 52:25
Everyone to realize that A lot of the things they think are what they have their opinions about things.
#1Husband Jeff 52:37
Let me go back
#1Husband Jeff 52:41
Hamlet here I’ll quote Hamlet. Hamlet said very simply, there is nothing either good or bad. bad but thinking makes itself thinks things can happen and you can decide Whether to be upset about them or not
#1Husband Jeff 53:00
or be hurt or not
#1Husband Jeff 53:03
#1Husband Jeff 53:05
I’m not saying it works all The time but there are many times It’s really worth considering Am I Is it worth it? It’s worth it. To me to be upset about this, or can I just let it go
#1Husband Jeff 53:17
and move on
#1Husband Jeff 53:19
and it’s a really good practice. And it’s really the truth.
#1Husband Jeff 53:25
#1Husband Jeff 53:27
Not be annoyed. We can decide to dwell on the things that make us happy. We can decide that although snips that we get into our More energy just wasted so Let’s decide when we get up in the morning. honk ourselves, let’s decide it’s going to be a smooth day, an easy day.
Unknown Speaker 53:52
And we can
#1Husband Jeff 53:57
decide that it’s all good.
#1Husband Jeff 53:59
And we’re here to live the lives we’re here to live, not somebody else’s life.
#1Husband Jeff 54:06
We’re here to live our lives.
#1Husband Jeff 54:09
Whether you believe we signed up for this with some for knowledge before we ever arrived on the planet or not. We’re here in our skin. With our propensities, and weaknesses and strengths and quirks and adorable features, whatever, our bodies, everything, this is our life. So Leave it, leave it like it’s yours. Don’t run you write your autobiography. Write it for you. Somebody else’s there.
Unknown Speaker 54:47
Robin Hallett 54:49
That was beautiful. That sounds like one of our evening talks. Maybe we should just leave it there. Okay. It’s just that is it. We came for an experience. We came for the experience of our own life and how would it be to just decide this is my life.
#1Husband Jeff 55:11
He means unique like you always talk about your unique combination. You’re living in that. Yeah. Don’t try to be somebody else.
Unknown Speaker 55:24
#1Husband Jeff 55:26
bemoan the fact that you’re not somebody else. Yeah, I would like to be Jeff Bezos for about 15 minutes though. No way.
Robin Hallett 55:33
No desire. I love you know, that is the How did I heal this or that? I realized I just want to be real like that. Robbie. God, what is that son? Like, I just wanna feel
Unknown Speaker 55:59
I don’t know. Are
Robin Hallett 56:00
you imitating the grocery store man at Assisi? Yeah. Anyway, I’m so happy I figured that out. Like, I just want to be myself exactly as I am. That’s my goal. And I can remember that, like at five years old. That’s all I wanted to do. Yeah. And how cookie is that to realize you go all this way around, pretending and trying and resisting and all along. There. You were yourself in the life you’re meant to be living. And the only thing is you’ve made another decision. That’s all Yeah.
#1Husband Jeff 56:44
Robin Hallett 56:48
Well, thank you my friend. Thank you my beautiful wife. I hope you’ll come on in another incorrectly calculated so many episodes.
#1Husband Jeff 56:59
156 No way.
Robin Hallett 57:05
I have always been that way about man too. It’s kind of funny. It’s okay. You know? That’s all right. Yeah. Yeah. So
#1Husband Jeff 57:14
I love you. Can I borrow $50,000? Sure, or 5000 Let
Robin Hallett 57:18
me take out my checkbook. I love a friend of ours sometimes sends a donation to the podcast and doesn’t put the decimal in. So $40 check comes as $4,000 and I always think, yeah, that’s my kind of man. Right there. All right, well, I don’t have any nuggets. Let’s stay with Jeff’s nuggets. Oops, wait, what did I just say? No.
#1Husband Jeff 57:46
You’ve got Have lots of nuggets every week. I know but I loved what
Robin Hallett 57:49
you said live the life you’re in. Be here and only thinking makes it so it’s no good or bad. It just is. Yeah, it’s just is so you pick the sway of that your vision. All right well thanks
#1Husband Jeff 58:06
for having me into the pillow for do round come so fun. It’s nice here I love
Robin Hallett 58:11
it. And these are just the right pillows. Yeah, I’m glad I never threw this this is one you’ve always not like oh my gosh finally. I can have my pillow in my pillow for I’m so glad I never threw it out. Do you want to hear a secret? I used to keep it covered with another cover so you wouldn’t know.
#1Husband Jeff 58:32
I love your pillows. I love my glad you got a spot for them.
Robin Hallett 58:35
You love my pillows. Yeah. I love you. And thanks again. For all you do and for holding space and being awesome and inspiring and telling me things like Go into the fire. Which I guess I never understood, but I got the
#1Husband Jeff 58:52
metaphor you took it. I got it. You took it in May I did it work your own way. I was great because
Robin Hallett 58:58
and that’s the metaphor. I mean, I still remember that day I was more scared than I’ve ever been funny, right well give us a kiss. Well, everybody, I hope you love this episode. With the eyes aren’t you can say goodbye.
#1Husband Jeff 59:24
Oh, no, don’t just disappear into the thing.
Robin Hallett 59:29
Okay. All right, you guys. I guess we’re gonna disappear into the evening. It’s Saturday night. We’re probably going to order a pizza. Probably hit save on this episode and be all excited about it and leave the editing till tomorrow. Yes. And go have some fun And we love you Don’t wait. We do. We love you. You’re part of our policy. You’re a friend and our framily and we wish you all the very best. And we’ll see you next time. Well, I’ll see you next time. Maybe Jeff will be here in another little while.
❤ Hello, sweet friend! If what I share is resonating, know that I am available to help you in session learn more about working with me privately here. Did you know you can sign up to receive weekly inspiration straight to your inbox? Subscribe to my emails here. Always, if I can help, write to me here. Sending you love and peace! ❤