This has been such an interesting week at “work” in healing sessions…the topic came again and again of how hard it is to allow time for us in the ways we want and just let our needs be important without feeling guilty, or justifying, or defending, or having to do a ton of things for everyone else first.
Do you have those things you love to do but you feel guilty about it?
Do you ever feel like you need to justify it or even earn your way to have your time just for you?
Do you feel worried that your spouse, friend, partner, or kids won’t understand your need to be on your own?
Stop apologizing for needing your alone time.
It’s never okay to negate your needs. When you do that, what you’re really saying is that you do not believe what’s important for you matters. And so you’re saying YOU don’t matter.
🎧 Listen to Episode 58: Time Just For You, Our Deepest Fear, #notguilty
This episode is also available wherever you enjoy podcasts or downloadable here
My session notes including time stamps. plus all links, quotes, books, and movies mentioned are below
My notes from this show:
This week, on Tea with Robin, do you have things you love to do but you feel guilty about it? Do you ever feel like you need to justify or even earn your way to have time just for yourself? I’ll share some stories and perspectives about how we can stop and begin a new practice of loving what we love. This week’s inspiration comes from the beautiful Marianne Williamson and our letter is from a friend who’s wondering what to do with all the guilty feelings after she sets a boundary. Come grab a cuppa yum yum and meet me here. Come grab a cuppa yum yum and meet me here.
Welcome and check-in.
How is the weather in your heart? Are you being loving and kind today, and accepting all of who you are? I hope so.
Lately, that’s been the message coming through for me more and more. Be your truest self, do it for all of us. And let’s face the pain of why we’re not together as a posse.
Let’s learn to be who we are instead of faking or hiding. We are amazing!
It’s been really nice to have the house alllllll to myself and just do whatever I feel like doing. And that’s what we’re talking about today! We need to stop apologizing for needing our alone time.
Cheers. Did you bring a cuppa yum yum today? Here’s to us loving and embracing exactly who we are.
A special cheers to my friend Melanie who sometimes binge listens to the podcast and says it’s a five-star podcast 🙂
Every now and then, it happens where every single healing session I’ve offered has had the same energy. The story might be different but we’re dealing with similar energy. And when that happens, I come here and share with you too, because I know it means it’s important for ALL of us to receive.
How we judge ourselves for what we love to do. We feel bad or wrong. And a lot of people struggle with wanting to be alone, and not having to have conversations with anyone. You want to lay around and just be and do whatever the hell you want.
It was like, nobody could tell that story without justifying it or defending it: I know you’ll think I am a terrible mother but, I want to be alone! No.
Here’s what I want to say about that: STOP IT. Nobody helps themselves by honoring a need they have and then immediately follows it up with a justification for that.
If you are somebody who craves alone time then you are somebody who needs it. And that is about self-care and your own worthiness…which means we must treat ourselves as worthy people.
How would it be to allow it? Instead of not being comfortable taking time for you, just do it.
I share my own stories about craving my alone time and how my family sometimes would tease me… and my own worry that they would think I didn’t love them.
Eventually, I accepted it, I needed alone time and it was vital for my growth.
This is a need I have. It’s not a bad need, it’s not a wrong need, it’s a healthy need. It’s vital to my personhood and the divine spark which I am.
Alone time is necessary to my center. I need copious amounts of alone time. Period.
Recognize that maybe if people who love you are saying, I know you like your alone time! They may be honoring your needs, not teasing you!
Don’t feel bad about what you love. I cannot tell you how many people have struggled with time alone and how hard it is to allow it to happen.
To not be distracted when you have alone time.
To not feel like you need to be productive when you have alone time.
To not feel like you have to earn your downtime.
How would it be to love what you love and honor it like it’s a need your soul has? Knowing this is what you need to feel centered and empowered and able to function as a light sparkling person!
Making space for you every single day is important.
Don’t set up weird perameters like you can only make time for you once you’ve earned the money or everybody else is taken care of.
The guilty explanations do not serve you, doing that means you’re making your own delight wrong. And we don’t mean to do that, do we?
What we love is always okay. Love what you love. Be how you are, exactly as you are.
Consider it as the greatest service to yourself and the world in honoring all the ways you are. It helps others to step into their own hearts and learn to honor what they love too.
We can teach the world what it means to live a beautiful life. Our kids, our families… the next generation.
Lots of us have the conditioning to overcome from childhood. Laying around and reading a book may have been frowned upon, or leaving dishes in the sink so you can go out and play.
These are things you can learn to overcome instead of deepening your groove of guilt.
You need to tune in to your spirit and ask what it needs instead of shoving that guidance out of the way in guilt or fear.
We’re here for our own joy and delight and it’s okay for us to have days to be all lit up! We need inspiration. We are here to be inspired.
You are a one of a kind original… there is nobody else like you out there. So the things you love and enjoy and desire are unique too. You shouldn’t be looking for other people who love and need exactly the same things you do.
If it’s occurring to you to do something fun and delightful or take rest and quiet time just for you, it’s really your soul that’s asking for it.
When you are happy, then you are shining. And when you are shining, then you are helping. And that’s 100% what you’re supposed to be doing!
Even when people don’t support what you love.
Even when they give you a hard time about it.
Even though you may feel a sense of guilt about it.
Even though the world seems to think that first, you have to crunch it and crush it and then hoof it and then you have to hump it and then you should write a book about it and then earn millions of dollars first and THEN you can take time for yourself.
It’s still okay to choose a life that’s all for you and free. Stay home and be alone and enjoy more and paint your toenails and don’t get anything accomplished and learn to be okay with that.
We can learn to tolerate the discomfort of our worry or guilt. Tolerate feeling the energy in your body and remind yourself that this is what healthy choices start out feeling like.
We know where some of this stuff got set up in our childhoods. But could we learn to bear the guilt and do it anyway?
Because that’s good for everybody when you do. The light you liberate in yourself will help everyone else.
You doing what you want puts you in a state of happiness. The quality of light you shine is unparalleled in that place.
Be lit up about what you love. Even if it’s fingerpainting or gardening.
Share your joy.
This week’s inspiration: Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson
I share how I got to studying A Course in Miracles. I began with a prayer like, help me help me help me! LOL. Such a hard time. And that day I found Marianne Williamson. She was talking about the Course. She was saying the line, there must be a better way… she shared a prayer and I was like, OMG I am going to order that book!
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
Announcements this week:
I wanted to share mylatest YouTube meditation with you today. This a practice of welcoming all of it in and loving ourselves exactly as we are. I made this at the lake recently and I hope you love it.
If this episode has been helpful, I’d appreciate you sharing this with anyone it may help. Click the share buttons above or below, or always I appreciate a review on iTunes
Special shout out to Alicia who says:
“Thank you for the work you share. It’s just what I needed at the time. Comforting my heart and helping me to remember I am never alone.”
This week’s letter: #notguilty
I am so grateful I found you through my dear friend Lisa. Listened to Podcast #54…Boundaries (whew – that hits home and was wonderful). It would be great to know how to set boundaries and live with them without guilt and all the other baggage that goes with it. It’s difficult for me. I know when and how… just don’t know how to live with the “aftershock.”
Thank you so much for being in my world and sharing your sparkles with the Universe.
Peace, love, and blessings.
Us needing it to not be there is really not gonna be as helpful as it would be for us to learn to bear the guilt and do the thing we want anyway.
So, what if the guilt never goes away?
What if the aftershock never goes away?
In my heart, that would be the greatest kindness life could ever give us. Because we need to learn how to bear the guilt.
Let’s learn to orient ourselves toward what we really want. Like a GPS in our hearts. Here is that horrible guilty place we don’t like to be, and there is where freedom is. We have to leave the horrible place if we want to get to freedom… and realizing this as a practice is so helpful! You don’t need to obliterate the place you’re in, you just need to leave it.
What if we could learn to treat it like passing weather. A grey day. They come and go. It’s not that big of a deal.
I share some stories of my own about handling guilt when my mom was so sick.
Ideas for getting rid of the old energy…
Burn journal. Write it down and burn it.
Write a prayer of release and bury it.
Learning to accept what is and release it the outcome.
The inner sports announcer. Sometimes narrating, announcing the blow by blow will help dissipate the energy.
It’s when we do nothing when we sit in our fear/terror/upset that it becomes bigger. Like attracts like, we get what we focus on. That’s when it’s insurmountable.
Be a good mama to you.
Don’t forget to celebrate your beautiful accomplishment! You are setting boundaries, and that matters!
Thank you, Aggie. I hope this helps you!
If I can read a letter for you, if I can shine a light, or you have a follow up topic for a future episode write to me here.
Show references below
A Course in Miracles Quotes:
Love Created Me Like Itself – Lesson 67
There must be a better way – preface
You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.
Related links for this episode:
Books mentioned in this episode:
You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.
Movies mentioned in this episode:
Thank you for listening, may it serve you!
Hugs and love,
Help out the show: Leave a review on iTunes
Send a letter to Robin for the show
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Hi, friends 💕 Episode 58 is about making time for you without feeling guilty about it. Or explaining why, justifying your reasons, or making up for it later. It’s so good to honor what you love without any resistance in your sails. You are here to shine brightly, and this is a service to the whole word when you do. Our inspiration this week comes from @mariannewilliamson “We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.” Our letter this week is about what we can do with the after feelings once we’ve set boundaries. So good! Come grab a cuppa yum yum and meet me here 💕 Episode 58: Time Just For You, Our Deepest Fear, #notguilty http://robinhallett.libsyn.com/episode-58-time-just-for-you-our-deepest-fear-notguilty-0