This is for the friends who are in a business helping others. You’re coaches and healers and light sparklers. You’re heart-centered helpers who remember Spirit. But really, this is poignant advice for any walk of life. May this support you and guide you where you need it most.
When I was starting out in my healing practice, I often felt like nobody was listening. This and my crippling self-esteem wobbles were enough to make me want to give up and go pluck chickens for a living. Every time I wanted to write a blog post or send my newsletter mailing I was hit with this feeling of futility, was anyone listening? If I put an ad in the woo-woo journal, I would end up getting mostly weirdo calls in response (like, the guy who wanted to do his sessions in the nude).
I took the lack of response personally. Even the wrong responses felt like my fault somehow.
I am sure I drove #1husband batty too because I whined and whined, Nobody wants to work with meeeeeeeeee! Everybody has a career but meeeeeee!
Lots of self-pity going on for sure, but the worst was how I would react when I DID have a win. Because there WERE wins after all.
I’d be pissed!
Oh yeah, well, where is everybody else?!
I’d feel sad!
Oh man, I have so far to go!
I’d doubt myself.
What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I be successful?
Looking back, I’m so grateful for that time because I learned a lot about trust and staying the course.
I learned that you never really know what’s happening, you only see a tiny bit of all that’s working behind the scenes. And today when others come to me for help in this same area, I feel completely capable of helping. Not only do I get it, but I’ve also been there. I know it feels sucky, too.
I am not someone just getting all preachy-preachy with my Big Boomy Voice!
I’ve had my own major crappenings and there are a good many funny stories to pull from too. And the truth is even though it used to embarrass me, I’m now glad to use my experience to help others.
The truth is there IS a trickle happening.
When you become so focused on what’s not happening, you’re sure to skip over the good stuff. And you do have good stuff happening! You do! Sure, you’d like more but there IS a trickle happening. Celebrate this first.
If you turn a blind eye to the wonderfulness that is already happening, it’s like saying NO, THANK YOU to the goodies. Stop doing that. Too many of us get the one win but then feel disappointed. No! Don’t be a poo-pooer of good things.
Honor the trickle. Be grateful for the one instead of asking about the many.
More is always waiting for you in the wings. First, you need to say thank you for what’s here.
I don’t know your business, so I will speak this to you like you were in mine. You never know how many people are tuning in and listening and receiving your message. You don’t know about them because they aren’t subscribed or booking with you or buying the package. Just because they aren’t YET, it doesn’t mean that you have no effect.
It doesn’t mean you’re not on track and one day these peeps might become clients or refer someone to you who will become a customer.
Think about that for a moment.
I get notes from people who read my blog and watch my videos writing me to share how my offerings have helped them. Notes saying, “Thank you, you encouraged me, your words inspired me,” and I didn’t even know this was happening! Still, they were there. I stop right then and say thank you out loud and take a moment to affirm how good it feels to be of service and to be on track with my mission to inspire and uplift hearts in need of this message.
And the truth is, it’s none of my business HOW my message is received or even WHO receives it! My business is showing up and shining. And the same holds true for your business.
It is interesting to note that a new client or student will tell me they’ve been following my work for a while now but they have NO idea how they found me initially…and I know that’s Spirit guiding the right ones to me because I’ve been committed, connected, and honoring of my path.
That’s you too! I just know it.
You have been getting these in your own way as well. Maybe you could be doing a better job of acknowledging it.
I completely understand that it’s tough when you don’t know if anything’s happening. But then admit you don’t know. Don’t go around all sure of yourself and poo-pooing the whole thing at the same time.
This is why you need a strong intention for what you’re offering. My intention all along: To inspire and uplift the hearts in need of this message.
Feel free to borrow!
You have touched people in ways that can’t be measured. Respect this and trust.
You have made a difference. You’ve received special messages, hearts, and smileys telling you so. Each one serves as a little reminder: it’s a big world out there and there is more good happening than you realize. What if you could hear these notes with wonder and awe in your heart? What if you could learn to look forward to these with delight and a sense of encouragement?
There is a cosmic tipping point. It’s for real. Trust it and respect it.
Too many of us receive these compliments with a complaining heart.
Oh yeah? Well, if they like me so much how come they didn’t buy from me?
Oh sure, they like me but not enough to book with me.
Oh, they just LURRRRVED my blog post? Well, how come they didn’t subscribe then?
Don’t get all huffy about this! Remember why you’re doing it in the first place!
Stop skipping over these messages because they seem to have no monetary value.
This is not a popularity contest! This isn’t Who Wants to be a Millionaire! Stop mixing up your success and self-worth. The name of the game is feeling great while you wait. Honor what is coming in while saying, Yes, thank you, more like this, please!
Don’t let your ego define the wins.
We need to keep a watchful eye on the ego, that part of us is very tied to determining self-worth by our success.
If we’re not careful, we can become consumed by comparing and tallying things like sales, bookings, Facebook likes, etc…
When we believe the story that we’re only as good as our wins, we suffer.
And we continue to deepen that suffering groove each time we allow this false belief to run the show.
When you rely on your business doing well in order for you to feel good, you will suffer when things slow down. It’s so important to get to know this part of you (the ego) which becomes less trusting and more concerned and worried about what the numbers and your performance mean. Wake up, baby! You are MORE than this one puny-minded aspect.
A spacious schedule is a gift. Don’t squander it.
Use this time to stay inspired. Don’t sit there fretting. Recognize the ways you waste time on what does not serve your highest good in these moments. Utilize this extra time to your advantage. Have some fun but get stuff done. What is our new motto? I am feeling great while I wait! Don’t sit there unraveling all your hard work by fretting. When you’re busy, there are things you dream of having time for. Write up that list. What do you dream of doing? Get on that, my friend! Do it. Feel great while you wait.
The Universe is listening. What are you asking for?
Be intentional about what you’re asking for. When you see the trickle but say, “I’m a loser, nobody likes me, there is something wrong with my offerings” you’re sending mixed signals.
What do you really want?
Get clear and be sincere about what you’re going for. Set an intention consciously. Spend a little time in the morning focusing. Ask the universe to guide you and support you and then trust! Remember, “Yes, thank you, I’d like some more please.”
Whatever you do, don’t just hatch another wild and crazy scheme.
It’s a bad idea to hatch business ideas when you’re feeling afraid. I could tell you many tales, but I bet you’ve got your own.
If the underlying reason is, I NEED MONEY, PEOPLE!, you’re already sunk. Your energy goes into all that you do and people can feel it. Spidey senses are for real. So if you’re feeling scared, worried or concerned, stop. Don’t buy into the terror stories you’re spinning. Learn to recognize the way you freak out and how about trying to freak yourself out in a good way instead?
It may sound corny but it really all does begin with an attitude of gratitude.
Welcome the one with a glad heart.
Feel the delight and excitement of doing what you love and offering something good.
Yes, thank you and more like this, please!