I am about to tell you the best and only resolution you ever need, ever. It’s so simple and easy, you are probably going to dismiss it at first.
This is not just another resolution post
This isn’t going to be a how to get yourself to stick to your fricking promises post. It won’t be a 31 most important reasons you really really really should have a resolution (and wowie kazowie, #17 blew my mind!) post. No, I won’t be telling you how to lose weight or get in shape, not even how you can poop like a champion. I will not talk about clearing clutter or balancing your budget. No make this the epic-est year ever by succeeding in your business post here.
I don’t want to talk about how you can fix your surfacy issues. They never really reach the kernel of your wounding. A band-aid will hardly do when what you need is a radical opening, big enough to allow the light to get in.
I want to talk about the only resolution you will ever need to make, ever. And it’s a gentle one too. And it has lasting, permanent effects. And it’s pretty instantaneous. And it will make you a whole lot happier than you can imagine. And you won’t have to do anything harsh to get there.
(Why is it that we think we need something radical before things can change? Like it must involve a major shakeup, or a medieval torture method, or some kind of public humiliation before we can make lasting change?).
Here comes the resolution, are you ready for it?
This year, choose love and kindness with a side of whoop ass
That was it. The resolution. The only one you will ever need. Were you impressed? Or did it sound super cheesy?
Love and kindness. Loving-kindness. (WITH whoop ass).
I’m not talking about the kindness and love which is enabling or lazy, not the one where you continue to do nothing about the things you are really wanting to change because you’re tired and overwhelmed and the kindest thing right now would be to lay back down and eat another cookie.
Not the one where your mantra is tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.
I am talking about the kind which is filled with light and comes packing a lot of whoop ass.
Love with bones.
The kindness which helps you honor yourself and choose yourself first.
Kindness and love which helps you stand tall and do what needs to be done.
But above all, the love and kindness with whoop-ass which knows there are things you really want to accomplish and you feel like you will die if you do not. And the kind of love and kindness with whoop-ass that cannot have another year go by with that box unchecked.
What are you willing to do?
Again, there is no need for you to get shot out of a cannon or to walk on fire in order to get there. But you do need to trade in your upset for delight. You do need to acknowledge what isn’t working and take the steps to change it. You must decide.
For many of us, trading our upset for our delight means we have to let go of the bag of crap we’ve been carrying around.
Meet Rocky the Poop Eater
He carried turds around in his mouth like they were cigars. He did not discriminate, he’d carry stuff that wasn’t his too.
He only did this in winter, when they were frozen. Poopsicles. It was disgusting but he didn’t care, he thought they were something special and refused to drop them, no matter how I made my voice sound as I said, “Drop it Rocky!”
We do this a lot too. We carry the poo like it’s treasure. Even when people say, “Ew, why would you keep that?” we do. We make little poo poo altars and worship there.
What altars do you need to dismantle? Stop carrying the crap bag forward like it matters, it doesn’t. Stop worshiping tiny things like they’re big, they aren’t.
You are not a DIY project
You are not a fixer-upper. Calling yourself a hot mess is not a kindness.Your words have power. Pay attention to what you are saying about yourself.
Along those lines, thoughts become things. We become what we pay attention to so please make sure you are giving your mental energies (and daily physical energy) consciously.
Progress sometimes means just being here now, fully present and appreciating the good things as they come. You don’t ALWAYS need to be charging up the side of a mountain or conquering your Big Ticket Items. Sometimes, we need to acknowledge it is good enough. It is good enough! There is a goodness that is enough.
Motivation has everything to do with deciding
I don’t know anybody who doesn’t struggle at times with motivation. Motivation has very little to do with whipping yourself into action but it has everything to do with deciding. You must decide that where you are going matters more to you than where you’ve been (or where you are now). And it takes grit and commitment but you’re totally capable.
Become defined and aligned
You did not come here to play small, but when you roam all over tarnation in your day without an aligned intention you’re really just creating the kind of distractions which are in service of chaos and drama rather than your brilliance. Just get clear on this, and it will be easier from here.
Inspiration without implementation is just wishful daydreaming so please, choose one small thing that will take you closer to your dreams and do it to the best of your ability.
A few words on bullshit shame and guilt
Besides telling you that shame is bullshit, I will add that it is toxic when kept to yourself. Guilt can be BS too because it usually comes on when you are stepping out into bigger circles of freedom. There are parts of us which are not awake, and sometimes they speak the loudest when we are making progress. Know this. Stop identifying ALL of who you are as this.
Sometimes guilt is just part of an equation which happens when you’re moving forward. It’s there helping you to remember that setting limits on your time and energy matters. And when shame shows up, whispering it’s hold-back-your-light-because-it’s-dangerous message, you can recognize the leading edge you are dancing towards and choose to go further.
What if you decided to greet your shame and fear with love? Treat it as information. Stop and listen to the chants in your head, witnessing objectively. Some forms of guidance come in crappy packaging, which we need to unwrap.
Gratitude as rocket fuel
Don’t confuse gratitude with your self-worth crap. You are so worthy, you are so deserving. And yes, there will be some feelings about you having things that others do not. It doesn’t serve you to feel this way and you don’t help any of us either.
You are allowed to enjoy your life without apology. You get to be delighted with the way it’s going, and you get to go for bigger and bigger dreams too. Gratitude is powerful juju which helps you.
Don’t forget to celebrate and say thank you. Yes, thank you, more like this please! or, Yes thank you, lesson received, it is done!
Now I should mention that some of us have a hard time seeing the good because we are so focused on the crap, and if that’s you, I direct you back to Rocky the Poop Eater. Choose what you carry please, it matters.
Final words, read these like it’s your new manifesto:
Some of the stuff needs to be felt in the name of healing and release. No poop cigars, please.
Every day can be a do-over day.
Don’t let the words of others hold you back.
Observe your envy and wish others well (besides, envy contains clues as to where you too are headed)
Just say no to bullshit shame and guilt
Love your process and your possibilities
At your service, in the name of love and kindness with a side of whoop-ass,