Tea with Robin

Dealing with Difficult People // Tea with Robin Podcast Episode 60

Dealing with Difficult People

In the years I’ve been offering healing sessions, I can’t think of a single person who hasn’t come to me at some point in our work together to talk about the difficult person in their life.

Dealing with difficult people can be challenging but it is not impossible.

One of the first things we need to do is admit to our feelings. And that might seem simple, but really I find people don’t like to admit to their feelings because they’re afraid.

They’re afraid of the person and afraid of the situation. Something unreasonable is happening on the outside and so it feels unreasonable to sit with it on the inside.

BUT!

It’s not a weakness to admit that somebody stresses you out. To admit that their reaction makes it difficult for you to say no.

It’s not a weakness to say you’re afraid of somebody because their behavior creates a tense atmosphere and it’s challenging to be around them.

I really want to support you in going deeper into this issue. Because giving the difficult person what they want, giving in to them doesn’t help you or me on our journey. And it certainly doesn’t help the other person who is being so challenging.

May this go to just the right hearts today. And please, share this episode on with friends who can use the support. Thank you.

🎧 Listen to Episode 60: Difficult Peeps, Healing Ritual, #lightworkerlove

This episode is also available wherever you enjoy podcasts or downloadable here:

http://robinhallett.libsyn.com/episode-60-difficult-peeps-healing-ritual-lightworkerlove

My session notes including time stamps. plus all links, quotes, books, and movies mentioned are below 😍😘

Click here to jump to references mentioned in this episode.


My notes from this show:

00:00

Hello, beloved, it’s me, Robin. Robin Hallett, intuitive healer and light sparkler at RobinHallett.com. And this is Tea with Robin.

On today’s episode: Are there difficult peeps in your life? Does it feel like a situation that’s impossible to change? Like, you just put up with it because they are who they are?

Dealing with difficult people…

Today we’re going to break free of that story. We are helping everybody when we make a new choice.

Plus we’ll have a group healing ritual. Our letter this week comes from #lightworkerlove.

All this and more. come grab a cup of yum yum. And meet me. Here.

1:00

Well, Hello beautiful friend. It’s me, Robin. Your heart sparkling truth-telling Big Sister on the journey. I hope the good kind of sister, lol.

I’m sending you love and hugs and welcome back to the podcast Tea with Robin. This is Episode 60. We have hit the big six oh, baby.

And if you’re here for the first time. Hi, It’s me, Robin. So glad to have you along. Thank you for being here. Hope you love it.

How are you today, my friend? How is the weather in your heart? Are you remembering your spark? Are you remembering that you’re a sacred being who has a function to shine as your truest self, no matter what? I hope so. Always my prayer that you are remembering who you truly are.

Over here. It’s the middle of the day. I’m in the middle of healing sessions today, I really like coming to talk to you in between. There’s so much inspiration and so much going on. And it feels very exciting.

It’s a great day, Welcome to October, October is something I am doing my best to get on board with. Summer has been such an amazing one for me this year. I feel like I’m still riding in the magic of such a good vibe happening. And I’ve told myself that fall can be lovely too. And winter will be also awesome. That’s a decision I’m going to make you know.

So It’s been a sweet day so far. I feel so super blessed to be doing this journey and showing up as authentically as I can. I still remember being so afraid to say what I wanted to say and write what I wanted to write exactly how I wanted to do it. And more and more I realize that I’m there. I’m doing it.

Always there’s another edge of course, but it feels so good to be here. And I love getting to be with you. So that’s me today.

Big question to you. Did you bring a cup of yum yum? I did. I did. I have two cups of yummy, yummy going, I have coffee in one. And then I have a lovely cup of tea. I made tea today for Healing Sessions just started with a big mason jar of hot water and started throwing things in there that sounded good lavender and rose petals, you can go to the bulk section of your store and buy a bunch of stuff that sounds good and make your own tea. So pretty much it’s lavender and roses. I put in the little fennel and some cinnamon sticks. And somehow this is working. There are some chamomile flowers and sea salt and a little stevia. And of course, lots of love.

Dealing with Difficult People

So whatever you’re drinking, let’s raise our glass together. Cheers to you. Cheers to the gorgeous journey we’re on. Thank you for being so awesome. I mean it, I really really do tears. So good. I kind of like making my own recipes. I have a friend who teases me. She’s like, send me the recipe. I’m like, here’s the recipe. And she’s like, except you didn’t follow any of that, right? Like, No, these are the guidelines. It’s so fun to experiment and explore, isn’t it just to do what you want and see how it turns out and even be willing to risk failure. That’s What I say.

So before we get this party really rolling, I wanted to say a special cheers to my friend Kate In New Zealand, who said, “if you’re searching for a beautiful, uplifting, positive podcast, look no further”. And guess which one she’s talking about? Cheers, Kate, Thank you so much.

4:59

So good. So today, boy, do I have a topic for you. Thinking about those people in your life — maybe it’s a family member or a dear friend on the journey or somebody you have to see every single day, Another homeroom mom, maybe it’s a fellow co-worker. And for whatever reason, you are in a state of worry about their mood, their attitude, their way of being.

Take a moment and think about it.

Do you have anybody in your life like that somebody who’s just a wet blanket, a crispy critter, a grumpy dump, you know, just hard to be around, but you’re connected. So you can’t exactly just ditch them.

Yeah, so I know I’ve talked about this a bit before here on the show. And today, what I want to talk about is the importance of you staying true to you and showing up and shining and not dimming your light. But also, like taking responsibility for the way you are a hostage in a way to their behavior, I that’s probably a good way to put it.

We somehow shift who we are, how we are how we respond, how we express ourselves, the stories we share, Because of this other person. And you know, today I just want to talk to you about you. Deciding you’re just going to be yourself, Everywhere you go.

I have been doing this healing gig for a minute or two Now. And I gotta say that I think there are in every family, there’s the one person in every relationship, you know, I think there’s everybody, This is something everybody can relate to, that we all have somebody in our sphere in our realm, who brings up feelings like this for us, where we actually end up resenting having to be with them, because their behavior, it’s just unknown, It’s a given, they’re gonna be the way they keep being such a downer, such a complainer such a whiner. And in the way you absorb it, and you and you put up with it. And you realize, Yeah, you are starting to put a buffer up about how you go around in the world. And here’s the thing I want to say that person is not your problem, that person and how they behave exactly the way they behave, no matter how ridiculous the things they say are, no matter how many times you try to stand up and speak up,

No matter what happens. That person is not your problem. But you do have a problem, don’t you? Yeah, the problem was me. The problem was you. The problem was deciding this having to be with them, this interaction with them was a problem. And so the only solution was to change ourselves, we changed the way we are in hopes of bettering the situation in hopes of surviving, in hopes of getting through it.

Yeah, we have the problem. We’re the ones carrying the problems because it’s a problem for us.

So In a way, you could say you end up hurting yourself, you end up being the one who takes on the suffering, In response to this other person who’s very difficult to be around, difficult to engage with difficult to interact with, and yet they’re in your life. They’re kind of a constant in your life.

So who has the problem? We do. Yeah, we have the problem.

And we have to make a change. We have to change how we choose to interact, What we choose to believe, but not to kiss their butts and keep the Giants sleeping. Remember the Hulk when he said, you don’t want to see me angry? Why does my Hulk have an accent? Okay, I quit right there. I’m going to quit right there. No more Hulk imitations for Robin. But You know, like, gosh, right? We, in a way.

Dealing with Difficult People

9:42

I’m raising both hands in the air right now. I am happy to tell you. There are people who frighten me, I get afraid in their presence. And that is not fair to me to let that go unchecked without helping myself through it. And I tell you this all the livelong day Oh, on this podcast that I work with so many people for so many years, whether it’s one time, or I still see them all this time later. I can’t think of anybody I know who doesn’t have someone like this in their lives.

So It’s not a weakness to admit that somebody stresses you out, they make it difficult for you to say no, they make it hard to stand up.

It’s not a weakness to say you’re afraid of somebody. To admit that their behavior makes it tense to be around them.

To say it’s difficult. It’s challenging.

So we end up giving something which means they’re getting something if they’re milking you for your compassion, your sympathy or empathy. And you feel like a frickin hostage.

They’re getting something out of this exchange, and they are not the problem. The problem is you The problem is me. And we want to help ourselves through this, Right?

We want to get free, not be hostages. Not being abused, milked or jilted, or any of that, We want to be free.

The other person is just going around being themselves they behave, how they always behave, they’re super consistent being who they are.

We can’t reason with this person, we can’t rationalize, we can’t explain. And the last thing we could ever really do is hope to re-educate them in hopes that they’ll get better so that we can finally be at peace, you know, that’s like the longest way around ever.

So Yeah, you and I are the ones with the problem. We’re the ones so disturbed, We’re the ones altering who we are, we’re the ones nipping little parts of ourselves off, or some of us withdraw, we retreat into ourselves very deeply in response to how this person is behaving.

Right? I hope this is making sense, I really want to support us both in not doing that anymore. Because it really doesn’t serve, It doesn’t help you or me on our journey. And it doesn’t help the other person, I truly do believe there is a way the other person can be helped.

Dealing with Difficult People

That’s not really our first agenda, our agenda should be getting free and being free and easy in ourselves. So If you find that there is this way that you carry people in your mind, and it doesn’t feel easy, you’re not able to separate whatever they’ve said or done or, you know, you don’t know how to keep it over there, then the first thing is to realize somehow you’re hooked in. And I think it’s a really good thing. And it’s okay to sit with that and have deep, deep compassion for yourself. And I mean it deep compassion. Take some time, This has probably been going on for you for a long, while now. A hot minute, you know, I think about people who are in long term jobs with a really difficult co-worker, and they’re in the same small office No like that. So This has probably been going on a while you sit with this and just spend a day or two or three or four. And really let yourself have some compassion from you to you. Man, this has been so hard for you. I gotta be honest here. That’s not my first go to. That’s probably not your first go to. Because when it feels like the house is on fire, Who wants to sit around going, Oh, poor little snow deep cookie. I’m sorry, you’re having such a hard day. You’re like, Oh my god, the house is on fire. Get out. You know, you’re freaking out. You’ll just want to take some time and just love on you. love on you. Be kind and gentle.

14:20
Because you’re hooked in. There’s this energetic exchange, This person is behaving in a way we could say we both know it’s not right. It’s not right there like a petty tyrant. Everybody is kissing their butts in fear on some level, giving them what they want. Not standing up. That means we’re hooked in there getting a mainline of energy from that. And it’s not right.

So first we have to become aware with loving compassion that we are sucked in. And we’re afraid. The reason is that we’re afraid to do something different. Or we’ve exhausted, it feels like we’ve tried and tried. But still, compassion, love cuddles hugs, keep telling yourself, This has been so challenging. Go ahead.

If you know the Work of Byron Katie, this would be the judge your neighbor portion of the four questions that she asks, go ahead and let yourself say whatever you want to say about this person to yourself, you know, validate your own experience, have your back for a change.

Don’t just move into fix-it mode. Don’t just be in hopeless mode.

You can do this. You can do this. If I can do this, you can do this. Yes.

Okay, compassion. And then the next thing, then you can start to look gently beneath this pattern of you being sucked dry somehow.

You can start to gently inquire what why is it happening? What’s going on? What is happening underneath that? Why am I doing it? Why?

It’s just a question. It’s Okay to be honest. It’s just us here. There is nothing you could say to me that I haven’t heard or said myself. We’re in good company here. Let’s do some practice inquiring now. Okay, we’ll just pretend you’re in the room with me. And we’re going to ask, So Let’s ask what’s going on here, kid? what’s underneath the fear?

Why am I doing this? I want them to be better. But I want them to be better so I can stop feeling so bothered when they’re around.

You know, the truth is, we have an agenda, we want this other person to stop being how they are so that we can feel better. And that’s just very honest. But it’s also super freeing because maybe for the first time with so much love and compassion and awareness, we might really get it that this is not helping.

This is not helping all our past tactics, All our attempts to stay safe to avoid conflict, to snuggle up to them and be their buddy, all the things we’ve done, it hasn’t worked. What we’re doing is arguing with reality, they are who they are, they’re not going to change, That’s probably their greatest gift to you, by the way, is that they’re going to continue to be who they are. And every time they are who they are. It’s like an invitation to you to be yourself to think about it. If you were as free as you could be, you would probably have such different responses to this situation, you would, but instead, somehow we take it on as a burden.

I’m thinking about my relationship with my step dad, This was totally something that resonates for me there were somehow I felt responsible for his journey and his life and his situation and his choices. And somehow, I got put into that situation because I kept trying. And I kept trying, and I kept trying. And eventually it was like me, they’re bailing him out when really would have been so great just to have a dad who could show up for me. But I was going this very long way around trying to get him to be okay to be healed, to get his life together to have a dad so that I could be at peace. Instead, I could have been doing this practice, I didn’t know, maybe you don’t know today, maybe today I get to tell you, we can be doing a practice of getting free.

Dealing with Difficult People

19:02

If you have that person in your life where you’re just carrying constant worry about them. constant stress, constant frustration, and you genuinely want to do something helpful.

One of the sweetest things you can do is set down your worry and try practice seeing them with love.

Some people are so attached to their stories, so attached to their drama, so attached to their version of reality. And I’m doing air quotes here because it’s really the illusion they’re living. But they make it so real that somehow you’ve been roped into it, You got roped in. And now you’re like the enemy or you’re like goody two shoes, or you’re the one that’s trying to change them or you’re the one with an agenda.

You’re the one who’s been difficult, You’re the one who doesn’t get it. You’re the one who just doesn’t get what it’s like, The two of you are doing this dance together that is really getting us nowhere. It’s like a tug of war game. We’re playing with this person and nobody wins. You know, there’s just tugs, and frustration and blisters and mud.

Somehow, somebody is going to get really dirty, and resentment builds. You just picture that person in your life, that one who can get you so that you’re gritting your teeth? Yeah, I’ve got it too. We can get into this locked in this dance together. And when that starts to happen, Somebody needs to let go of the rope. The answer is not to pick it up and start pulling again. It really takes courage, doesn’t it to step away from the rope.

But I want to affirm something very powerful for you right now.

Are you listening?

Are you?

This person is not your problem.

Who has the problem if they are feeling disturbed by this person? Yeah, we are, We have the problem.

We also have a choice to make.

You can either give your energy to this tug of war to this long-winded long way around strategy of trying to get them to change so you can finally be at peace

or

you can step into your center and care more about the vibration you are living in what you’re offering how you’re riding in your life.

You can care more about giving yourself the life you feel truly lit up to live.

Nobody likes to see how, in a way unconsciously, we may actually be using this situation to hold ourselves back. In a way, we get to blame the messiness of our lives and the lack of progress in our lives on this other person.

And This could be about your adult kids, This could be about a family member who’s ill and you’re the caretaker, This could be about a parent, this could be about friends, this could be about a community.

I’m thinking of many, many people I have helped in sessions for years, who have that one toxic coworker, even the boss, Even the head of the company is afraid to handle…

What we really need to do is realize: I have to claim my power. I have to stand in my center, and I need to take responsibility for my life. My journey is my own.

I am responsible for what I’m seeing here. I am responsible for the way I’m calling this to me. And the feelings I’m choosing and the way it’s going for me it’s up to me, it is. So Yeah. Let’s just go through the steps. Now I feel like I’ve kind of explained it and explained it and explained it. And I hope you really are hearing me say how loved you are, how important you are how much this situation matters. But how much I am supporting you in choosing a new way. It might be really radical. And you might need support. Obviously, I’m right here throwing my hat in the ring saying I will hold your hand and walk with you one on one through this.

Dealing with Difficult People

24:04

You know, I’ve even sat with people and told the bully, We’ve done I’ve done that to where we’ve addressed the toxic thing as a group. So That’s why I want to talk to you about this today is that you deserve your life. You deserve all your energy, and you are worth waking up for and seeing the ways you might not realize you’re complicit in this situation continuing. Because we’re scared. Because we’re tired because it’s overwhelming. It’s exhausting. It’s daunting, you know, we just stay in it. So Let’s take this from the top. Here’s what you do, the moment you realize this is not a situation that can continue. Okay?

First thing is, again, compassion for you. The only thing that matters, You Put your hands where it hurts, It’s usually going to be somewhere along the esophagus or the diaphragm area, Put your hands where it hurts. And say, I matter, compassion for you compassion for your experience. let yourself have your feelings. And you realize I have an agenda here to make this person somehow better or fix the situation so I don’t have to suffer anymore. And the shortcut is just to choose, I am not going to suffer anymore over this situation, there must be a better way I must need to do this differently.

And you realize maybe it’s time to let go. Because that’s the one thing I haven’t tried this I’m gonna let go. This means when they Zig we zag, you know when they offer their crazy when they offer their bait again when they come up to you with the rope dangling, you know, taunting you to pull on the rope again. You’re just like, No, I am not going there. There is some way you’ve had this breakthrough. And I’m praying, it’s today. It’s right now. In fact, before we finish this segment, we’re going to do a healing. And we can walk through this together, Okay.

So you’re doing it differently because you realize there is more at stake here than you’ve previously understood. And you’re no longer willing, you’re just not going to do it anymore. It’s not fun, and you deserve a life you love. And you deserve all the energy and Juju and sparkles, for your journey for your joy for your fun, you know, it’s not fun to go through your days, heavy heart hanging, you know, and then all the stuff we do to compensate for that a lot of us who have our addictive tendencies, we need to numb out from this very situation. That’s why it’s happening. So you know, instead of enjoying stuff from a tangible joy perspective, do you remember that episode? We’re overboard? Just trying to wipe the memory slate clean of that person? No.

So decide, this is no longer your problem, and do what you need to do. I will tell you what, those people in my life, the difficult ones, the champ, the ones who present a challenge for me where I want to go unconscious, and just give them what they want. So they go away. Do you remember that movie, I love Stephen King. And there was a movie that, Oh My goodness, The one I’m thinking of is called Storm of the Century and it illustrates this point so perfectly that, you know, there’s just this force of evil that comes to town and it keeps saying, Give me what I want. And then I’ll go away and the town continues to answer by giving up what is truly precious and sacred to them instead of choosing to not dance with the doo-doo. And that’s exactly what we’re doing here. But we can’t give them what they want. So they go away because they never go away and giving them what they want is like sustenance, They are dying digesting. They’re living off of our pre-digested energy. Yuck. That’s What I mean, they’re getting something out of this exchange, You don’t have to give it anymore, you have to decide.

Dealing with Difficult People

29:04

And I want you to remember something that you pulling out of the tug of war is being of service to their light, to making the decision to see them differently.

You know, when you don’t get into the tug of war, you are seeing them differently, you’re making a choice. This is probably the only thing that will help the situation. You know you not adding resistance to the chaos energy that is toxic, and it’s not coming from love. The Course of Miracles teaches love created me like itself. Kindness created me kind. You know, my lesson today was so cute. It was kind of like, I am not going to be insane. Today, I’m going to go with love. And that’s exactly what I’m talking about here, my friend. certain scenarios make us insane. And then we believe all the illusion all over again. And before you know it, you are down in the dumps again about your life attacking yourself.

So no more. I also encourage you to stop telling the stories to other people. I’m thinking of a dear friend of mine who regularly will say stuff to me about a family member who’s about to come over. And you know, I don’t always feel like it’s my place to say something. But sometimes I do because that’s sort of like setting the intention for this person, this family member to be at their worst. It’s kind of like saying, I hope they’re crazy today. You know, I hope they’re nuts. I hope they ruin Thanksgiving. I hope they do. You don’t mean it. You don’t realize it I know. But I hope today you’re going to hear me.

So I love Abraham Hicks who says we can pre-pave the situation, pre paved the road for how we want it to be. And you don’t make this prayer with them. in it. You make this prayer for the day you want to have. This is a magic day, this is a joyful day. This is a beautiful day Are you and I friends on Instagram. I mean, pretty much every day in my stories, I put a prayer like this up. And you are welcome to practice with me. Most every post I make is a prayer of some kind and offering about choosing because I live in intentional life. And so when these things intersect with my day, I want to practice. So we pre pave the situation as Abraham would say, we want to imagine the road and pave it with love payment with joy.

Put the expectation I had of it happening, of how you want it to be, or the Course of Miracles teaches believing is seeing.

So we want to believe something and expect to see it become true. And if you think about it, all you’re doing is the same thing in the other direction. I’m not asking you to be a Pollyanna. Everything’s roses and honey and hunky-dory flowers everywhere I Look, It’s lovely. I’m not asking any of us to do that. Okay, I’m not deluded about what’s going on. I’m just saying, We don’t have to play, We do not have to play anymore. With that kind of energy. We can choose, I choose and I want you to choose. I want you to choose to set your intention, how do we want it to be so powerful, What you’re doing is informing the situation for the future. And when you choose to do that, in the negative sense, when you keep telling the old stories, you keep telling them and complaining about that person, what you’re really doing, you’re solidifying your own hopelessness, solidifying your own inability to affect change. And that’s not true.

We’re not victims, but we are responsible for the world we see. And if we keep telling that story about that person, and how they’re going to be and oh my god, take responsibility for that right now. I was starting to say a little while ago, and I think I dropped the thread. Sometimes people in my life will ask, you know, when can we get together? When Can we talk? When Can we, you want to get together and have a drink tonight, or whatever, and my heart sinks, I don’t want to do it. And then I feel that familiar tug from a very little girl who, you know, let’s face it, stuff went down in our lives that we had no control, we couldn’t prevent it happening does. And there’s still a part in us who will want to go unconscious When these events trigger similar stuff.

Dealing with Difficult People

34:02

So the person you don’t want to be with who’s like, you need to come over and help me do this thing? Or can we get together and talk? When you feel that thing in your heart or your belly, it’s your moment to step up to the plate.

And who are you swinging for? It’s you! Take a swing at this answer in a different way for a change. Okay, Byron Katie is such a powerful person at modeling how you do boundaries. Look up YouTube and watch her. The answer is no. Watch her. I understand and I won’t be there on Monday. I understand, you know, whatever, compassion, love. But No, I’m not going to do it. What they’re going to do, if I say no, is not my problem, whose problem is that that’s theirs. Their reaction is up to them.

My reaction and what I choose to carry is my problem. Your reaction and what you choose to carry is your problem.

You know, along with what I was saying before about, let’s not tell stories, we don’t want to continue about the person those not complain about them and victory about them. Let us also in our thoughts, see them with a vision of love.

Maybe you can see your friend or your family person in a loving way in a loving eye in a loving light. Instead of seeing them as the crazy one, the difficult one, the challenging one who turns every gathering into a total disaster. Maybe you can see them in a light that is just pure spark of the Divine. This one has Buddha-nature, see them with compassion, see them with love. But First, you have to do that for you. You have been suffering from this, Haven’t you? This has been extremely challenging for you, hasn’t it? Yeah.

Okay. Last thing I’ll say is, I do feel it helps to give people a little context, when you’re setting a boundary when you’re trying to create some distance, you know, because a lot of us know what it’s like to pull up stakes very suddenly and never speak to somebody, again, that energy can create such a deep crater of violence, absence, dualistic, you know, I’m the good one, They’re the bad one, it creates a lot of harm and lasting energy for not just the other person. But for you. I’m not talking about extreme cases, for some situations, that is the right answer. You just need to do it. Like Mary Oliver says in her poem, it was already late enough, It was a horrible thing. You just had to get the heck out of Dodge, you know. So I get that.

But for most people you know, what are you going to do? You’re going to give them some context. As you make yourself less and less available and start to shift the dynamic.

Sometimes a little context is super helpful. Whatever it is, you know, you have a number of things on your plate, you’ve overcommitted, your time constraints have changed, You know, you’ll know what to say.

And If you don’t remember, reach out to a higher power, you know, asking it is given that same means, recognize that there is a need, and there’s no shame in having needs.

So ask for help: Please Help me, I want to see this differently. Please help me find the words to soften the energy, this dynamic between us, please help me find the words, even your willingness to be willing to be open to bringing peace instead of fighting back or pulling on that tug of war rope again. Even that willingness you have to ask has the power to change things.

What matters to me the most is that you really give yourself space to see and hear and know your own heart how hard this has been. You’ve been putting up with something that is not working for you.

39:00

So Beloved, You’re doing a great job. I know this is really hard. I do I really, really do. And I’m here to walk with you anytime. Because this is big, and it matters and you matter.

Keep the perspective of who matters the most. That’s you. And you know, we’ll keep talking about this. And always I welcome your feedback, your messages, Instagram, Facebook, let me know what you think. And we’ll keep going.

Announcements this week:

So let’s have a little more yum yum. And friends it this is ringing your bells today, I would so welcome you to share this onward.

Share the episode to Facebook, share it in an email with the treasured friend, text it on from the app. Let’s help shine the light and help each other out.

I know for me, some of this stuff I carried in silence because I thought I was the only one and I was embarrassed. And I see this same thing in other people I help too. When we sit together and they’re telling me their deepest, darkest, I can see that there’s shame.

And really, as I say, we owe it to ourselves to do away with the shame to become fiercely loving, and compassionate to ourselves, no matter what.

So please share this on, I would appreciate that very much. And always a review is so wonderful. It really helps. I see a few more have gone up. And I’m excited about that. Thank you.

Click the share buttons above or below this post, or always I appreciate a review on iTunes

And I wanted to say a special Hello and shout out to my friend Fiona, who wrote about last week’s episode on change. She said:

I love this one, Robin. It was like a carbon copy of my life. Also, I learned you don’t see any of the comments on your podcast from Europe. So I’m saying is here. Wonderful, guilt-free podcast made me feel better for the million times I’ve changed my mind and moved on in my life and still doing it. I know it’s not just me now. Thanks, Robin.

And thank you too, Fiona. And it’s just music to my heart. music to my heart. We are getting free. We’re waking up. We are, you know continuing the beautiful work with been doing all along and their strength in our policy and just lousy. Wow. Thank you.

Dealing with Difficult People

This week’s inspiration: Healing Ritual

So What do you think about a beautiful ritual? For our inspiration this week? Let’s do the healing. All you need to do is visualize the person you probably know who the person is by now right? I’ve got my trusty box of matches here. I’m going to light a candle I think I’m a candle. There we go. Have a beautiful altar here all set up. I’ve got Mother Mary, I’ve got Archangel Michael said train crystals. Rose Quartz, like a hand stone, something I like to hold in my hand sometimes while I’m working a beautiful piece of crystal quartz And two bunny Hummel figurines that belonged to my grandma. And both of their ears have been broken and re-glued a million times. And the little let’s see what else is here, little tea plates that hold tea. And it says you are my cup of tea. And You are my cup of tea sweet friend you are. So if it feels right, Go ahead and close your eyes and take a deep breath. You know, just it’ll take a moment. So just stop what you’re doing. If you can and really practice with me, place your hands on your high heart. And Let’s take a deep breath in deep, deep compassion for me at this moment. Thank you for this awareness. Thank you for this light. Thank you for this podcast for the light streaming through in this episode. Thank you for our journey together, I asked the supportive, benevolent energy that surrounds my friend here lift and remove the obstacles. The old dead energy,

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what has already been transformed, yet just lingers on like cobwebs in the corners. Please remove this energy. Do away with it in a healthy supportive way. Please add light and sustenance to this body. A powerful knowing that this one here matters is important is vital to the world at the highest and most sparkling of themselves. I asked for a special blessing for the person in question. The one who has brought so much friction to my friend brought so much challenge that we are now going to do the work to heal and probably offer the only help this person could receive at this point. I thank you so much for that.

May we be blessed. May we always know we’re not alone. Maybe we remember when we’re afraid to ask for help. And so it is Amen, Aho, and Ahoy!

And if you like Go ahead and sweep your arms up, if you’re alone and it won’t seem weird. sweep your arms up in the air. You know, like you just don’t care.

Cleanse some of this energy out, pull it up to the sky. My latest on YouTube is so perfect for this. I am loving awareness, you might want to check that out.

So Bless you, my friend. I know this is going to be such a fabulous day for the rest of your life going forward because we’re doing this work together.

So this beautiful candle I  lit, it’s in a little Waterford Crystal. I’m guessing it’s a sugar cube holder. I like to go to the second-hand shops and find pretty things to take home so I can always make new altars, new special sacred spaces. For me, for friends on the journey for this podcast. It’s such a nice thing to live in such a sacred way.

Dealing with Difficult People

This week’s letter: #lightworkerlove

So How about this week’s letter, I thought you might enjoy this one today. For those of us who are learning to be a value in the world. We’re going to run into stuff where there’s friction and asking for compensation. We’re going to have stuff come up. So consider your own life and situations where we need to set better boundaries we need to honor our time in our walk.

This goes out to you, Kathy, Thanks so much for sending it in.

“Hi Robin, loving your podcast, love, love, love. I have been studying the lessons for lightworker love. I wanted to throw something out there for possible answering on the podcast. I have to say my greatest challenge is figuring out how to price my services. I offer energy healing and Reiki and I know I have a hard time declaring my worth. And so I know it’s challenging to collect dues from clients in financial distress. What would you say to somebody like me? I’ve just completed less than 11 money, my own natural energy yield? And I’m looking forward to your answer. Thank you.”

Well, thank you too, Kathy, This is a great question and friends listening. She’s talking about a course called light worker love, of course, the video and audio lessons That is really geared for the soul printer, that lightworker who’s working in the field of helping others. So let’s talk about it this way, it’s very hard to value what we do not pay for.

It’s very hard to value what there has been no exchange for. You know, Kathy, the kindest way to help yourself through this is to decide you are here offering a legacy to every single person who comes to you. You are not the only one with self-worth issues, you’re not the only one who feels the need to apologize in asking for payment.

This is an issue that comes up again and again. And again, not only in the healing room but in boardrooms across the world. Keep in mind that we attract what we think about that we what we focus on expands, we need to heal that rift about not mattering and apologizing for charging, because

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unhealed, what that calls to us is energy in opposition to that. So people come who have a very difficult time with payment. A lot of people who couldn’t pay just wouldn’t come, they would just be like, this is out of my price point. And I’ll maybe I’ll connect with this person on Facebook or receive their free offerings, but they’re not going to come in and then say, Give me healing and I’m not going to pay you.

So if you’re getting that kind of pushback, that friction and you’re feeling guilty, You’ll want to look at your own belief system, your stories, the way you hold yourself.

We need to consider what story we’re telling our bodies what energy we’re carrying in our bodies. Because if there’s no support energy here toward being prosperous, abundant, juicy, and empowered, then yikes… there’s not a lotta energy yield.

And if that’s the case, then really, how are we even going to be offering healing? If we’re already coming from a depleted state, how can we?

You know, people will say that saying, Charge what you’re worth, I shy away from saying that because actually what we’re worth is, there is no amount on the planet, what we’re worth, and we just can’t even get into that comparison.

This is more about the exchange needs to feel good, it needs to feel good. So you’re going to step in and encourage yourself, you’re going to look at these stories you carry about what it means to charge, take responsibility for your part in this. Help yourself go right to the source of the stories.

And it’s not necessary for you to live like a pauper. But it is necessary for you to be lit up and juicy. And to have something to offer and not be in a state of drain, you need to charge something.

What you can do, because you want to be of service is to decide to be of service, is to pick a number of people you’re willing to help each month for a different fee. You can design that in a way that feels good for you. And you can also ask spirit to help you. That’s the way I would suggest it because sometimes I find if you just put a discount on your website, people will ask for that who don’t even need it because it’s there and we’re savvy, we use coupons all the time, you know, but they’re not necessarily the ones who really, really need it.

So If you’re really hoping to make a difference, to serve, need support and cannot pay, work that out with spirit. And then you’ll have a feel-good structure for helping that that will feel really, really good and aligned…

You need to receive in exchange for what you’re offering, or it’s very difficult for the person to receive. If they don’t pay for it, if they don’t feel they’ve given something of value, in order to receive what you’re offering. If they don’t value it, it doesn’t go in. So consider it that way.

You’re here to help heal a lineage, you’re here to offer a legacy.

What people go on to do in the world as a result of the love you’ve offered, that’s your legacy.

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You’re here to bring forward.

Help yourself see it that way, perhaps it’ll be easier for you.

I know for me, raising my healing fees over the years, there’s always a little bit of friction. But I also know I am honoring what feels correct and right for me. And honoring the guidance I’m receiving when you are offering an excellent service in exchange for an excellent session fee, You will know it and people will value it and it just won’t be happening anymore.

Also! Consider all the ways you are already of service in the world for free. And you may want to write these down. For example, I do this podcast every week, I’m sharing so much light online all the time writing my blog, YouTube, I send a letter to the Love Posse every week and I also take time to write everyone back. For me, I feel like that I’ve got the service part covered for me. And you may want to think about if you’re doing those things as well.

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Everybody has to know for themselves. what feels good and right. The key is to pay attention to the guilty feelings you carry what you’re nurturing and nourishing within yourself that you don’t really mean to do.

I think there’s something there that feels very important for you to hear and what I’m saying, okay, and money, my own natural energy. What is it that you want to yield from everything you’re offering? Just ask yourself that because right now part of it is a guilty conscience. And I don’t think you mean that, right?

So. I hope this helps. I hope this was helpful to you.

And Again, friends, light worker love is such an empowered series. If I’m speaking to you go check it out on my website, just under courses or shop.

Well loves if I can answer a letter for you. I always love these letters at the end. And I was talking to a friend the other day and said Every time I’m nodding along, I get it. I can see myself in every letter you read and it’s true. You know, these help me too.

So I love reading these. If I can answer a letter for you to offer some light on for some healing. Please write to me at Hello at Robin Hallett. com, or use the form on my website.

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Well, friends, it’s Friday. I didn’t say this earlier, but I saw a coyote running through the backyard. I think that’s Floyd my coyote friend Floyd, who I named but he’s causing quite a stir in the neighborhood today so I’m not going to walk Harley. I’m babysitting my furry nephew who already got into a little tangle with a skunk in the night a few nights ago and the house smells very interesting right now.

Picture it, Nag Champa and Skunk. Actually we got off really easy just the snow but it’s amazing how x toppings on. So think I’m going to skip my afternoon walk till Floyd is done perusing the neighborhood. Looking forward to a lovely evening, make a sweet meal for number one and I will light a candle and definitely cheers to you. I think it’s a frying pan-fried cod and sauteed kale on the menu tonight for dinner. And maybe a nice little glass of bubbly.

So I’m sending you so much love. I love our ride together and thank you for being here. This has been me Robin Braveheart palette. And I’m going to see you here next week or in a few minutes. Same bat time same bat channel.

If I can read a letter for you, if I can shine a light, or you have a follow up topic for a future episode write to me here.

Dealing with Difficult People


Tea with Robin Podcast Show References

⭐A Course in Miracles Quotes:

am responsible for what I see.
I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve.
And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked.” –T-21.II.2.

“Love Love created me like itself.

Holiness created me holy.
Kindness created me kind.
Helpfulness created me helpful.
Perfection created me perfect.” — ACIM WKBK 67

“You will believe that you are part of where you think you are.” — ACIM WKBK 35

“This the decision not to be insane, and to accept myself as God created me.” — ACIM WKBK 282

You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.

⭐Related links for this episode:

Lightworker LOVE Self-Paced Course

Byron Katie Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet

How to Say “No” – The Work of Byron Katie

Tea with Robin Episode – We’re Here for Tangible Joy

Blog Post: Resistance Is Futile, We’re Here for Tangible Joy

Blog Post: Stop Trying so Hard and Start Intention Setting

Find me on Instagram Here: @robinhallett

⭐Books mentioned in this episode:

Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Who Would You Be Without Your Story?: Dialogues with Byron Katie

The Abundance Book

A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume

You might enjoy the Course in Miracles practices I offer here.

⭐Movies mentioned in this episode:

Storm of the Century – Stephen King

Thank you for listening, may it serve you!

Hugs and love,

Subscribe to Tea with Robin on iTunesGoogle PlayStitcher, or Spotify.
Click here to get email notifications as soon as a new episode goes live.

Help out the show: Leave a review on iTunes

Send a letter to Robin for the show


View this post on Instagram

On life with difficult peeps and breaking free from the impingement of their attitudes and behavior. It’s so good! ⁣ ⁣ I talk about how we can choose to do the dance with them differently and why we are never their hostages or victims of their behavior.⁣⁣ ⁣ Lots and lots of solidarity vibes. Because, ugh, I know what it’s like too. This episode is really for those of us dealing with it, how we can help ourselves out. ⁣ ⁣ I have helped so many people over the years who’ve struggled with their difficult peeps… from the coworker to the sibling, to the in-law, to the adult child, to the parent, to the homeroom mom… the list goes on and on and on. Lots and lots of stories. ⁣ ⁣ Do you have anybody like that in your life? Usually, we do have somebody in our sphere who bring up feelings like this for us. ⁣Where we shift who we are and how we respond because their behavior is a given. They’re consistent in who they are — whiner, complainer, wet blanket, grumpy grump. ⁣ ⁣ Their greatest gift to us is they’re not likely to change who they are. ⁣ I wanna talk to you about you deciding to be yourself wherever you go, feeling lots of compassion for your own reactions, and making the choice to let go of the rope. ⁣ ⁣ And I gotta say, sometimes it’s freeing to realize that I am also somebody who is challenging for other people… it’s true! You may be too! ⁣ ⁣ I’m offering a special healing ritual for those of us in need, and our letter is some #lightworker love on how to handle charging for what you do without the guilt.⁣⁣ ⁣ Let’s do this 🙌 Come grab a cuppa yum yum and meet me here. ❤️⁣ ⁣ Listen to Episode 60: Difficult Peeps, Healing Ritual, #lightworkerlove⁣ ⁣ http://robinhallett.libsyn.com/episode-60-difficult-peeps-healing-ritual-lightworkerlove⁣ ⁣ Link in bio for full episode on iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or wherever you enjoy listening⁣ ⁣ Always, thank you so much for supporting the podcast! I appreciate you sharing these episodes with friends who can benefit. ⁣ ⁣ Want me to read your letter on the show? DM me here or email hello @ robinhallett.com ⁣ ⁣ #teawithrobin⁣ #acim #acourseinmiracles⁣ @robinhallett

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❤ Hello, sweet friend! I am available to work with you privately in session long-distance or in-person in Arlington Heights, IL learn more about working with me privately here. 

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