It is nearly impossible to birth yourself alone and on your own and yet every day I hear from people who are attempting to do just that.
Rather than supporting the “just suck it up and keep moving forward” movement, I want to encourage you to stop and acknowledge the tender spots you find inside and make room for what they’re asking of you. These tender places bring guidance. They contain information and lots of nuggets that your spirit needs for the journey ahead.
If you are someone who is asking, intention setting, focusing, and journaling with great regularity to be birthed into something new and more real and more YOU into life, all of the stuff that’s in the way of this now is going to be presented to you – all of your gaps will need to be addressed. Not because you really need to see how terrible and awful you are, not because everybody in your childhood was right about you, but because this intention you have is asking certain parts of you to be restored to your original condition in order to have the capacity to allow the light to shine into you and through you as you move out in the world.
So you can handle it without it destroying you.
So you can be an inspiration for others.
So the light you leave behind will make this world a better place.
We have many encounters in our life (sometimes daily!) that directly relate to what you are wanting to awaken and heal
We must consciously choose to see these encounters with kind and loving eyes otherwise we will continue on in our powerful defenses that keep us from acknowledging what’s being pointed out to us. When we continue to swirl in the chaos and drama of all the familiar and repeating stuff, we are allowing the fear to win. We are not on our mission. Do you see this? Do you notice the little red thread in how you get upset over things? Rather than going toward what needs to be healed, we pull away from it and choose the swirl instead (or maybe you choose the anger, or the betrayal, or the ‘poor me’ stories – we all do this in our own way).
There are so many places where you get caught and hung up; places in your life where you cannot see clearly and you do not feel comfortable; times when you don’t feel easy in your body as you go about in social settings… where you feel muddy and contorted rather than clear and aligned, and all of these discomforts are pointing to places in you which need healing. They’re not evidence of your weakness and failure. To me, they’re signs of your potential.
You will need help to get yourself there
I could probably remind you one hundred times that you aren’t supposed to pretend that things are fine as you limp your way forward and you are supposed to be asking for help with these places inside you but even as I remind you, you’ll be in touch with the awkwardness of being helped. You will be feeling into the yuckiness around asking for help and allowing yourself to be helped. Why is this so hard? We feel so much shame about being assisted, and we have memories of times we tried and it went very wrong. Clients tell me all the time: I should be able to do this on my own, I shouldn’t need you to help me do this… and I remind them that when we’re being born, all of our focus and energy is being consumed in the transformation process… it isn’t fair or realistic to expect that while all of that is happening, there is another part of you with additional stamina to also be outside, waiting there with the catcher’s mitt as you emerge. With all of what’s going on, how can you manage to hold space and support yourself too?
Preferably you aren’t attempting to receive help from the wounded and kooky people who may have helped create what you refer to as your screwed-upness in the first place 😉 What you need here are allies… trusted friends, guides, mentors, teachers, wild little mothers and fathers and of course our special wonder pets… people who can be there with you, seeing you and having your back and holding space with you, intending to help breathe you into the fullest sense of being-ness possible.
You could be allowing such a person (or group!) to support your transformation process and assist you coming more fully into the world, or you can allow the memories of being shamed as you were vulnerable and small from the past. Which is going to win? Only you can decide.
It’s not that easy to birth yourself alone and on your own, especially while you are asking with great desire to be birthed into something new and more YOU into life.
You are good and holy and totally deserving of the experience in life that you are wanting, and because of this, everything that is not in alignment with your true intention will need to be cleared. And you will need help doing this. And as my own healer reminds me so often, we need love and kindness and lots of mercy on this journey and we need to have a hand to hold as we walk.
Hugs and love,