It’s okay to want what you want.
What you are wanting for yourself and for your life is never ever bad or wrong.
Never ever, ever ever.
In fact, what you are wanting points right back to the essential and unique spark of the Divine that you truly are.
You’re a one of a kind original and the things you love and enjoy and desire are a reflection of this spark.
It’s okay to want what you want.
Even in the absence of the evidence that it can happen. Even when the people in your life don’t seem to support what you are wanting. Even though you might feel a sense of guilt as you wish for it. Even though the world says you only can have something if it was really really really hard won… like only if you put in 10 kazillion hours toiling away, or if you spent all your time meditating and only eating grass.
It’s totally okay to want what you want and it doesn’t make you bad or wrong.
So if what you are wanting is really a reflection of that spark of the Divine and that could never be bad or wrong then what is the problem here? Why isn’t this easier and why isn’t it happening?
You may already have noticed that even though what I am saying rings true for you, there is still a problem. As you imagine yourself doing/being/having the life and things you want and as you go about attempting to manifest these things, there are places where you get hung up.
Here are just a few places I notice we tend to get hung up:
I don’t deserve this. There is something you believe lies deeply hidden within you which exempts you from the good in life. The thing is, this feeling of unworthiness is NOT a sign that what you are wanting isn’t meant for you. Your feeling of unworthiness is the sign that you have some growing to do. This feeling points to a gap between where you are now and where you would like to eventually be.
I feel guilty for wanting this. If you feel waves of guilt or shame for wanting what you want, this too is a sign there is some growth work to do. I have a feeling your little inner child has answers for you and if you can ask yourself: why am I really feeling guilty for this? you may get some insightful answers. Maybe there were shamers and joy restrictors in your past who had a great deal of influence over you… maybe you grew up apologizing for all you had and now it’s hard to want things… maybe you grew up around lack and scarcity and it feels uncomfortable to have more than a little… your wounding has so much influence, it’s important to sit with this and allow it to become conscious.
It isn’t spiritual to want things. This has a lot to do with your personal version of religious-icky. Your worry that what you are wanting isn’t “spiritual” or any other story that says spiritual people shouldn’t want things needs to be addressed – it’s not in alignment to go without or be a pious pauper, this flies in the face of abundance and love which is what Divine/Source/God really is. Every single facet of the Universe carries the spark of the Divine within it and everything you are wanting comes from that Source.
People don’t want this for me. Yes. It is true that there are people in your life who will not support you wanting what you want. The reasons for this are irrelevant really, what matters most is that you understand: just because people don’t support it or encourage it, it does not make your wanting wrong! It probably means you are aligning with people who do not support you – and you may want to consider going where you are celebrated rather than being just tolerated. I also want to encourage you to be authentic in your friendships and connections… people on your inner circle should celebrate you!
Can you relate to any of these? I know I can relate to all of them! It’s not that it’s bad or wrong to want things, but the very wanting sometimes points out gaps on our insides which need to be addressed. The Gap is a place you cannot bypass (though many of us try!) and it’s also impossible to cross until more work is done.
How to address the gap between where you are now and where you want to be
I’ve written about there being no shame in needing help and also the importance of receiving help and also why we need to stop saying no thanks, I’m good, so you may like to read those posts if they call to you. For now, I’d like to speak to more of a metaphysical principle: where you place your focus is where your energy will flow.
Some spiritual principles you may have heard before:
We get what we focus on.
We create what we defend against.
What we resist persists.
Where our treasure is, there our heart will be also.
I cannot receive what I cannot accept.
It’s not enough to practice an affirmation if you believe a different truth on your insides. The strongest vibes win.
If the predominant energy you feel as you imagine yourself having what you are wanting is a sense of guilt or shame or a generalized feeling of badness, then you are a predominant match to that energy of guilt or shame or a generalized feeling of badness. More of you is honoring the energy of the guilt or shame or generalized feelings of badness which means you aren’t really focusing the green light on what you are wanting.
There is no such thing as you not being able to have what you are wanting, but there is such a thing as you believing you don’t get to have it like somehow the goodness is not for you. As you undertake the journey through your gap, it is imperative that you support your inner YES rather than your inner NO. Mental patterns become habits, so if your default thinking is mostly NO, you have a little work to do 😉
You at full maximum juju is good for the whole Universe!
You having what you are wanting puts you in a state of happiness and this is a good thing for you and it’s also good for the rest of us. The quality of the light you shine from that place is unparalleled.
Make it a practice to honor what you love. Go ahead and go for it. Don’t apologize, squinching your shoulders as you look around to see if what you want and would love to have is okay with others! You are unique here on the planet, no two journeys are alike–so don’t expect that everyone will be on board with what you are wanting (and it’s an equally good practice to support what others want too even when it’s different from what you want).
It takes courageous faith to honor your wanting.
It takes courage to wait with joyful anticipation.
Courage to tell the Inner Booger to take a seat.
You have this courage in spades!
When you resist what you love by telling yourself it is bad, you are making your own delight wrong.
Who are you to judge your delight as wrong?
Your delight is also a spark of the Divine.
Do you really want to call the Divine wrong?
Full speed ahead, beautiful!