Last year, I didn’t even know what the World Domination Summit was.
My friend said, “OMG, you have to go! Last year, Brene’ Brown gave this inspiring talk and then she sang ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ with Chris Guillebeau right there on stage!”
But by the time I decided to attend, WDS was completely sold out. I set my intention for getting a ticket and in three days, I had one.
When the day finally came to fly to Portland I was beyond excited.
Little did I know that in 24 hours I’d be feeling overwhelmed by some old dragons that really (really) sucked
Some of my friends would be there at WDS…they’re this band of merry mischief makers I have come to love. We plot and strategize together. We mastermind. Here we are, waiting for the bus on our way to WDS!
I’ve been stretching beyond my comfort zone but in a good way
It’s wonderful to have friends who challenge my limiting beliefs and tell me to keep going even when I’m afraid. There are those times when some murky stuff gets churned up for me and I have to face the crazy-mind dragons. And that’s a very good thing because epic dreams cannot flourish in an unwelcome environment.
So here’s what happened
Earlier in the year, the group suggested I make some cards to hand out to people at WDS with my artwork and special messages.
I was imagining these cards serving as inspirational reminders. I saw them pinned to bulletin boards and taped to computer monitors. I could just feel the way people’s hearts would melt when they saw the art. I knew how inspired they would feel to keep going on their journey.
They’re just little business cards. No big deal, right?
Except that I felt like that Warner Brothers Frog… alone in my space, dancing around so happy, exuberant, full of joy! I loved the idea of handing out sacred affirmations to my fellow epic dreamers at WDS.
I wanted anyone who received a card to KNOW that their dream mattered and I wanted them to KNOW their gift to the world was needed! I began creating the art and the messages. I set an intention and asked for the right words to serve the highest good.
This is when things started to feel wonky…
My friends suggested putting a web address on the backs of the cards so that people could learn more about me. And then, “Why not create a special offer just for WDSers who might be feeling scared or blocked as they attempt to put their big ideas out there?”
Yeah, baby! So I went about creating a special page with a special offer on my website.
But then I started feeling a lot less Wonder Birdie like
I worried: Is this slimy?
Sales reluctance is an edge I’ve been dancing on for years.
You might be reading this thinking, what’s the big deal – just get out there and sell your services, lady!
Or, you might be reading along nodding (head and heart) because you KNOW what I am talking about here. You know exactly what it’s like to have a dream and want to share it with the world.
You know that sticky, nebulous area of yuk.
My friends were saying: People can’t know you offer a service if you don’t tell them!
If your favorite store did not clearly show you where to pay for your purchases, how could you buy?
It didn’t even help to look at the statistics of just how many people are searching for healing online (last month it was five hundred and fifty thousand people, globally).
It took me 93 days to make the cards. Still, I could not bring myself to hand them out at WDS
I’d put them in my bag each morning, but just could not hand them out! Now, I felt like the Warner Brothers Frog once it’s on stage. As the curtain draws back, all it can do is stare out at the people while quietly ribbiting.
It didn’t matter that my friends, family, and clients loved these cards. I just could not get over that hump. I was scared to meet the energy of slimy. I didn’t want to see the eyes of others. I didn’t want to be rejected.
My inner Darth Birdie just would not stop!
My mind was saying some pretty unhelpful stuff like:
Robin, you’re an idiot.
What’s the big deal, you baby!
I mean, shouldn’t you be all healed up by now?
When people find out you’re afraid, they’ll call you a fraud.
Nobody will want what you have to offer.
That’s when it became time to get quiet and ask, “What is here that I’m missing?”
And poof! The story came to me. I remembered one Halloween as a kid, late 70’s. There was going to be a parade in my neighborhood. Costumes would be judged and prizes awarded for the best ones.
I was a shy introverted kid. Although I felt excited about the parade, I was also anxious about it. Rather than give me some time, my mom pushed me into it. So I said, “If I HAVE to be in the parade, I’ll go as Princess Leia.”
But she had a different idea.
As a seamstress in another life, she was going to sew my costume and she decided I would be a bride. A bride? OMG. Seriously, what other little kid would be going as a bride at Halloween? I was yukked out from the start.
Mom sewed me the costume–a long dress complete with matching veil. She even made a bouquet of straw flowers for me to carry.
I remember two things from the parade. One: Extreme embarrassment. Two: my mother yelling (more than once), “Robin, raise your bouquet!”
The old stories can be a pain in the butt. Yet they carry important information relevant to your journey NOW.
Pushing myself to hand out my cards at WDS felt a whole lot like being pushed to be that bride in the parade. And all of the enthusiasm and support my friends showered me with felt a lot like Mom saying, raise the bouquet! Raise the bouquet!
Once I understood this, some of the energy eased a bit. I could align Halloween Bride Robin with Brilliant Beautiful Unique Confident Expert Robin. These two parts could hold hands and move along on the journey.
Meeting the power of the dark force with love and compassion
There might always be a healing gap for me between the passionate brilliant and stage ready Robin and the embarrassed, shy, terrified, kid. There will be the occasional freak-out moments of, What am I doing here? It’s a terrible mistake. It’s okay. I love and accept myself AS IS today, right now.
Although I am learning to quiet that panicky shy one as my creative wave gets bigger, I feel the edge still there.
This is the path I am working along. As I move forward and embrace what I am here to do, it gets easier. I can’t let the terrified one kill off the brilliant one. Too many of us do this – we listen to the voice of fear and go back to sleep, all the while feeling sadness too, wishing so much for a way to break out of this pattern and shine.
And so it happened that (with the help of a friend) I was able to hand out some cards
If you happened to go to the premier of the movie Indie Kindred on Saturday, and you were waiting in that looooong line to order your lunch, you might have gotten one of my cards.
My friend said, “Hey give me your cards, I’ll hand them out for you.” And she grabbed the stack and boldly started saying to people waiting in line, “HI, do you want an intuitive affirmation card?”
She spread them out in her hands like a tarot deck and let people choose. She made it fun, and I saw how touched people were by the messages. In fact, nobody said no and I can’t recall a single person seeming slimed by it.
You need friends like that who will take your crazy story and turn it around.
It’s all good 🙂
When I came back from WDS (which WAS amazing by the way) I shared my experience with my community.
A friend in the tribe said, “Your art is totally adorable. Why would you withhold it from the world? It seems to me that there are so many people who are suffering from under-dosing on delight and you have the cure. That makes you a delight-hoarder. Now how do you feel about THAT?”
I hadn’t thought of it that way… If I don’t share my art and messages with the world, I am robbing you of delight!
I do not want to be a Delight Robber. No I do not 🙂
And in case you’re curious about those cards… here they are. I had a few left over lol 🙂
We are HERE growing our hearts and learning to shine our light in bigger and bigger circles.
We have dreams and people need what we have to share.
That’s the truth.
Remember, don’t be a Robber of Delight! Shine on 🙂